Gay Father Appeals Restriction from Living with Partner

[rainbow4321]

http://feeds.bignewsnetwork.com/redir.php?jid=aac4a43606b9c116&cat=dc5bac5ce154af20

Annapolis, MD) - A gay father is seeking to overturn a 2002 custody ruling that forced his partner to move out of their shared Montgomery, AL home as a condition for retaining custody of his son.
The order was initially issued on an Alabama court before the couple relocated to separate apartments in Rockville, MD in 2003.

"If there is no evidence of any problem with a gay or lesbian partner being present in the home, the court should not interfere in those private relationships," said Susan Sommer, supervising attorney with New York-based Lambda Legal Defense and Education Fund.

A Montgomery County circuit judge dismissed the case last year. On Monday, though, attorneys filed a motion with the Maryland Court of Special Appeals.

<snip>


Detthow, a sign-language interpreter who is not hearing-impaired, does not intend to let her son live in the same house with the man who broke up her 12-year marriage, said her attorney, Patrick Stiehm

[VegasWolf]

1. Hint, move out of Alabama. n/t

[sandnsea]

3. Alabama has jurisdiction

Looks like to me. Whenever my husband and I wanted to do anything about custody problems with his son, we had to go back to the county the divorce was handled in.

[VegasWolf]

4. States can lose jurisdiction, Texas had jurisdiction after my divorce

but California took jurisdiction after I moved there. It
all depends on where you are living when a custody suit
is initated. In my case, my wife figured that since I was living
in California she would get much higher child support payments
( which is true due to cost of living ). She then initiated a
child support modification order in California and California
took jurisdiction.

[sandnsea]

5. The article seems clear

Custody was decided in Alabama and the men moved to Maryland and the mom to Florida. The only time I've seen custody decided locally is if it's an endangerment type of emergency.

[VegasWolf]

6. It would seem that once both parties moved out of Alabama

that Alabama would lose its interest in the case. This is what happened when I moved to California.

[sandnsea]

8. Well, it didn't happen in WA

We were in MT and she was in FL and everything still went through WA. So either there were extenuating circumstances, you hadn't had custody papers filed originally, or CA and TX have different laws.

[VegasWolf]

11. No, she was in FL. What she filed was a modification of child custody

order ( done all of the time ) from Florida. The child support
payments were the highest in California so she filed there.
I lived in California at the time.
I retained a lawyer to argue that Californians payments were based
on cost of living in CA and not applicable to Florida. The
original child custody order was filed in Texas where we both
lived at the time of divorce, and was taken over by the State of California given
that the State of Texas had no further interest in the case since
neither party lived in Texas. My attorney was successful and she
didn't get the huge increase that she wanted. California
was responsible for the case until both children turned 18.

My attorney would have let stand the original order from Texas
if possible, because Texas had the lowest of all schedule
payments. It wasn't possible.

So at least this is the way it is for CA-TX-FL.

[sandnsea]

12. child support

Whole other ballgame. There's tons of new laws to make it easier to transfer child support situations.

[VegasWolf]

13. No, child support is part of the final custody order. Good try! In

fact the visitation rights were revised as we now lived
across the continent and Sat-Sun visits were not viable.
If you are still having issues in your case you should consult a lawyer. In my case, I had to since so much money was involved.

[sandnsea]

14. This is unreal

There's a bunch of posts in this thread about child custody jurisdiction and they all support what I'm saying. I don't know what crawled up your ass to argue with just me, but what the fuck ever. It's very difficult to move jurisdiction for child custody from one state to another, if you got it done it was because there were some sort of extenuating circumstances. Or other possibilities that I won't mention.

[VegasWolf]

15. So you fail in your arguments and start calling names. Highly

intelligent response there fellow. A couple of posters
on DU versus my personal experience with some of the best lawyers
in the Bay Area. Keep up the good work. You need to add
a few more fucks to help you make your points ( although I doubt
that it will help).

[sandnsea]

16. Your one story

Verse the opinion of a law student and several other people who have been through it, and the original article.

They don't allow child custody cases to be moved around so that parents can't steal kids and file custody in a new state. I don't think even Texas is that far behind the times.

By the way, haven't you been harping on and on about voting machines in Las Vegas? Because you voted there? And now you say you're from CA? What's up with you anyway.

[VegasWolf]

17. An expert lawyer vs a law student? Don't think so! Child custody

cases are moved around. My "story" is my experience
with CA and FL lawyers. Did you have a lawyer representing
you? They do cost a lot of money.

Just for your information, I was an executive in a Bay Area
high tech company. I am now retired and living the good life in Las Vegas.

BTW, the voting machines in the Las Vegas area were the only
ones without a paper trail. LV happens to be the only blue
area in the state. Check with other NV posters like NVMojo.

Thanks for your interest in my posts!

[sandnsea]

18. Still, just your story

Which you now find necessary to back up with your wealth and position in society.

:puke:

I don't think I'll be so interested in the future.

[VegasWolf]

19. So you have now succumbed to the last resort of the witless. You

tried vulgarity and now you call me a liar. I am finished with you. Buh Bye!!

edit: remove some irration.

[sandnsea]

20. lol

I didn't do either. But I did notice you found it necessary to make that claim in a subject line, and get even more blatant about it in this post.

The witless. lol. They tend to expose themselves.

[VegasWolf]

21. True!

I didn't realize that there was some sensistivity to the
subject line. I tend to type until the buffer is full.
So you don't believe that "fuck this and fucking that" is
an example of vulgarity and you think that calling my "story"
is not implying lying. Tell me, I am curious! BTW, your
handle SandnSea is pretty nice, even if you aren't.

[Maat]

2. This law student (not able to give advice yet) believes that ..

moving out of Alabama would not work, because the Alabama courts would still govern the child issues.

The real issue here is a vindictive ex-spouse who is an IDIOT and who does not understand who is being hurt the most here, THE CHILDREN. Instead of setting her personal hurt and issues aside, and focusing on what is best for the kids, she wants to do something else ... she doesn't want to properly educate her children about different couples, and to love and accept their father and who he is. This retired social worker thinks that this woman STINKS!

[ultraist]

9. I agree, it's sounds like the wife is just being vindictive

The case was initiated in AL and unless the wife drops the case, it will be heard in that state. If the wife moves, she can request the case to be transferred to another jurisdiction. I think the case must be filed in the jurisdiction where the child resides.

In other words, it wont help the dad to move to another state.

Maat: How long were you a social worker? I majored in SW and did worked in the field for a short time.

[Maat]

24. 7 years - from mid-1993 through mid-2000.

Child Protective Services - Emergency Response Worker in SoCal. Responded to the meth labs, among other cases. Had an adventure beyond my wildest dreams.

Here's to ya'! Years spent "with the Department" made the most impact of anything in my life - short of my marriage.

And I wouldn't have my daughter without having been a social worker. I decided to get on my home county's adoption list (I worked in another county) - because I got to know the whole court process in and out - and decided to give it a try. Next thing ya' know - I had Beloved Daughter in my arms.

[haele]

10. We just went through that here in California...

Until the ex moved to Florida, as the divorce and original custody decree was in Alabama, and jurisdiction would remain in Alabama.
And the divorce decree was handled separately from the custody decree.
And I agree, the ex wife in the case this thread is about was vindictive. Unless there is some legal concern of endangerment to the child, she has no right to bitch about who is living with the other parent - my husband found that out the hard way when his ex's "live in" was "disciplining" his daughter. In Alabama, bruises and welts don't constitute child abuse.
I suppose that also in Alabama, a "partner" of the same gender as one of the parents does constitute child endangerment. Along with a parent that doesn't take the kid to church the way the other parent feels s/he should. You know - the important things that endanger the child's "good, christian soul" are the only reasons a parent should lose his/her rights to time with the child in Alabama.
sheesh.

Haele

[Maat]

25. Sorry you went through that!

All I can say is 'I understand.' Hang in there, please!

[haele]

26. Well, we've managed to get through it.

The ex decided that her own long-term security was just as important as her ability to raise the girl. Which means that if she wanted to stay with the guy who was willing to live with her long term and not have to find better work than for spending money, she had to give us physical custody of the kidlet, who is currently entering her very difficult teen years and is competing with everyone for attention. We got the call four weeks ago to "come pick her up, we can't handle her anymore". sigh.
The ex apparently believed in raising children in social peer-isolation and benign neglect ("mommie" was her best friend when she felt like it...)and that no longer works as she's not a compliant 8-year old anymore, she's 13.
It's going to be difficult with us, especially since the kidlet has some serious social issues and has to catch up about a year and a half's worth of schooling (that's how far back the other school was behind the local one).

Haele

[Maat]

27. I always prepared Dad and StepMom for this one (when I was a soc wker).

When you have a mom like mine was, it is only a matter of time 'til the kid ends up with Dad, especially when the kid starts to interfere with Mom's life.

Please hang in there - for the kid - because she really needs you now. I know that you will have to have nerves of steel, a backbone that won't quit, and the patience of a saint. It will pay off in the end.

My hat's off to you.

I'm lucky my paternal grandparents were there for me.

[haele]

28. I'm a retired Chief, no problem...

Consistancy and a sense of proportional humor has always been the key for problem kids, be they 10 to 30 years of age.
:evilgrin:

We work to build up her talents and confidence, and I've got a pretty decent circle of aquaintences that have had or worked with children that have social issues. We also remember enough of our own childhoods to keep on top of the games the kidlet is trying to pull off now.
The only real issue right now is her anger issues, which are understandable. Inappropriate and shows up at the most inconvienient times, but understandable. We've got a good medical plan that includes therapy, and we'll deal with it.

My folks are also very supportive, they've already gone through this with my brother and his stepchildren.

Thanks for the good wishes.

Haele

[Maat]

29. Take care!

My great challenges lie ahead. I adopted my daughter, and, she may have some issues surrounding the circumstances of her birth and early childhood later - some special ones - but I'm determined to work through it - successfully.

[noamnety]

7. She needs therapy

She needs to face the fact that some third party didn't "break up her 12 year marriage." She and her husband, between the two of them, managed that all on their own. You don't stray unless you are of a mind to stray.

She also needs to come to grips with the fact that once a divorce is final, you don't get to decide who your ex can or can't have a relationship with. Time to move on, and get a life of her own, instead of trying to run his.

It's pathetic that a judge ruled against him to begin with.

[mahina]

22. invade Alabama

they are against freedom.
flag flag flag flaggity freedom flag.

[VegasWolf]

23. They hate America because the South lost the war! Never fergit!n/t

[geniph]

30. Um, the South won the war. It just took them an extra 150 years to do it.