Pentagon to pay millions for Scots’ robot soldiers

[NekoChris]

Thanks to Something Awful for this one.

Article is at: Sunday Herald

I don't THINK this is a satire site, like the Onion, so, this should qualify. And I didn't see any links to similar on the last three pages.

HERE GOES!


--
ROBOT soldiers manufactured to kill enemy troops have been designed for the Pentagon by a tiny Glasgow computer company which is set to make millions from the deal.

Essential Viewing says the technology comes straight from the world of science fiction. Chief executive Simon Hardy said the technology had its nearest equivalent in the Star Wars movie Attack Of The Clones.

<snip snip snip>

“Our technology means you can steer an unmanned tank, plane, boat or a robot on the frontline from a military base behind the lines or in another country. The intention is to create wars without humans. We are going in the direction of Stars Wars and Attack Of The Clones-style combat.”

<cut cut cut>

Essential Viewing’s technology has already been tested in the US by the military driving a robot around New York. Hardy said the robot looked like a multi-armed sophisticated bomb disposal vehicle, adding that the technology was down to “some very scary maths”.

<omg wtf lol>

The technology can also be used for law enforcement covert surveillance, recovering victims in natural disaster and tackling domestic terrorism.

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Read the rest on there.

DO NOT TRUST THE PUSHER ROBOT. HE IS MALFUNCTIONING.

[Minstrel Boy]

1. "The intention is to create wars without humans"

Something tells me that doesn't include the other side, or the civilians.

[htuttle]

2. You must not be from the United States

You see, many Americans don't consider people on the enemy side as 'human', whether civilian or military, so by that standard, many will consider him correct.

(and I find it all quite appalling...where's the damned 'OFF' switch on this monster?)

[Bozola]

3. Noooo! This was a Monty Python FC Sketch!

Voice Over: (Scottish accent) Here on top of Edinburgh Castle, in conditions of extreme secrecy, men are being trained for the British Army's first Kamikaze Regiment, the Queen's Own McKamikaze Highlanders. (There is a scream and a piper jumps off, another one emerges and starts to play) So successful has been the training of the Kamikaze Regiment that the numbers have dwindled from 30,000 to just over a dozen in three weeks. What makes these young Scotsmen so keen to kill themselves?


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http://www.montypythonpages.com/index1.htm

see: Sketches/MPFC/Kamikaze Scotsmen

[Astarho]

4. We can always build more killbots...

Where is Zapp Brannigan when we need him?

[AP]

5. Four years ago companies like this were making people's lives better

by trying to apply this technology to entertainment, medical, etc., applications.

Now Bush has changed the world into one in which progress is measured in terms of how much people you can kill and what you can do to further cultural and economic imperialism.

[Nottingham]

6. Ok This is like Terminator! Problem is Who is running the Machines

This is terrible!

:bounce:

[Emboldened Chimp]

7. Um, the Pentagon isn't paying for it...

WE ARE.

[goforit]

8. Isn't this like the Red Coats in the REVOLUTIONARY WAR???

Those red coats just walked in like robots!!!

The same way the US walked into Iraq!!!

[Melsky]

9. I heard a radio interview on this about 6 months ago

It was on NPR and they were interviewing someone from the pentagon. He was all proud of the killer robots, and how many American lives they would save. Then they had a caller come on, who said they were really into science fiction, and there were a lot of killer robots, but it was never the good guys that had them. Boy did the pentagon guy sputter and get mad!