Strangers may not be kids' biggest danger

[NNN0LHI]

http://www.suntimes.com/output/news/cst-nws-safe03.html

NEW YORK-- Against a backdrop of highly publicized child abductions, some experts are urging parents to abandon the time-honored warning of "Don't talk to strangers" and instead work creatively with their children on a variety of skills for being safe but not scared.

"Our message is that children should recognize and avoid certain situations, rather than certain people," said Nancy McBride of the National Center for Missing and Exploited Children.

Federal statistics indicate there is no upsurge in child abductions and disappearances, though such cases often gain widespread attention, fueling anxiety among parents and others. Florida lawmakers, for instance, toughened that state's child-sex laws this spring following the separate abductions and slayings of two girls.

KEEPING YOUR CHILDREN SAFE

Some child-safety tips for parents and guardians, from the National Center for Missing and Exploited Children:


Practice basic safety skills with your children. During an outing, have your children practice going to the restroom with a friend, locating adults who can help if needed.

Listen to your children. Pay attention if they say they don't want to be with someone or go somewhere. Be sensitive to changes in behavior or attitude.

Notice when anyone shows your children a lot of attention or begins giving them gifts.

Teach your children they have the right to say ''NO'' to any unwelcome touch or actions by others.
AP

[Coventina]

1. Well, all I can say is FINALLY!!!

While kids do need to be aware of "stranger danger" (a stranger tried to abduct me when I was a teenager), the sad truth is, most kids are harmed by those familiar to them.

There was a man in our church who repeatedly asked to be my boyfriend (I was 13 and he had to be in his 40s and married), and when I actively avoided him my parents scolded me for BEING RUDE!
Even AFTER I told them of his harrassment of me! They told me he was "just kidding" and "being nice". Same thing happened with my high school art teacher.
:eyes:

[HuckleB]

2. Thanks for posting this.

Good stuff.

[ElsewheresDaughter]

3. poster on the wall of child services office...

"95% of all molestatiion happens by a family member or trusted friend of the family"

[SoCalDem]

4. Mothers are the FIRST and LAST line of defense for their kids

I wrote this a while back, but it still figures in this case..

.................



SoCalDem (1000+ posts) Sun Apr-17-05 09:09 AM

Original message

With Mothers' Day approaching, it pains me to see so many BAD mothers


I guess we have glamorized mothers over the years, and no one ever wants to BE a bad mother, but so many seem to be "achieving" that status...Can it be an accident?

The sad thing here is that the bad mother may pay with a few months in jail or a longer sentence...she may pay in later years when her surviving children don't write, call, or visit...but the ones who REALLY pay are the children she "loses" along the way.

Nature (survival of the fittest) has determined that mothers are responsible for the care of their young. It may be sexist, but for a few exceptions it's just a fact. Even reptiles who do not rear their young, have motherly duties beyond mating and laying eggs. The reptile mother who lays her eggs in the wrong spot will not have any young survive. Mammalian moms have it more difficult... they must also teach their young, in addition to feeding and protecting them.

It seems to me that the animals, as under assault as they are these days, seem to be doing a better job that some human moms.

We see the "mother" in the MJ case, who apparently pimped her kid (who had cancer) to MJ. Now even if one believes that he is not a pedophile, is it really a good idea to let a man in his 40's (famous or not) sleep with your adolescent son? Does taking money and gifts make it ok?

We see the mother who was "absent" from her daughter's life, so she lived with her Dad and his parents. Jessica was apparently well cared for (for 9 years) and I am sure her dad and grandparents loved her, but the fact remains.... a predator living practically next door killed her. I am not saying that her mother being there could have necessarily prevented it, but mothers are important to a girl that age, and perhaps having mother in her life could have "outed" this creepy guy before he had a chance to grab her.

Now another young girl is killed in Florida, and it looks like it's a guy her mother "dated". Mothers who choose companionship over their children's safety, are jeopardizing their lives for a few meals out, some flowers, a romp in the hay.

Single moms are sometimes the best moms in the world, BECAUSE they know that they are IT, as far as protecting their kids. There is no Dad to jump in and help. Single moms I have known do not even let their kids MEET their "boyfriend" until they are SURE of what kind of a person he is , and he has been "vetted".

Lots of predators LOOK for the needy woman with a child. They flatter the woman, but deep down it's their KID that they want. Somewhere along the line those mothers have turned their "radar" off, in exchange for some personal attention.

We are going to lose a lot more children if things don't change. Putting GPS monitors on every predator we know of will not keep chldren from being killed. It will only help us find the perpetrator after the fact. And "tagging" predators will not address a bigger problem.. the Dad, step-dad, boyfriend, scout leader, pillar of society, the minister, the school teacher, the coach...These are predators who sneak under the radar. They may not kill the child, but they do kill their souls, and self esteem.and worst of all. they steal their childhoods. That's something that can never be regained

A better solution might be to really help mothers..especially single moms. Lots of girls are growing up (and have been for a long time) without guidance from THEIR moms, so when they have children, they just wing it.

A few things could help a LOT:

Decent affordable day care (older children need looking after too)

Housing that is not in the WORST areas (where scuzzy low-lifes congregate)

Education so that moms do not have to work the lowest paid jobs, and several of them , just to get by...leaving no time with their children


No one looks into the eyes of their newborn and thinks that they will be a bad mom. They see those little eyes looking at them and imagine all the wonderful things in store for that baby, but somewhere along the line, a lot of those babies are being lost..

This is a stain on our society...that we cannot seem to protect our young...and we don't seem to be making much headway.

Some people march around with signs to make sure every baby is born, but how many are marching with signs, insisting that mothers get help to raise those babies??

[Kolesar]

5. Recruiters are

Ooops. Sorry for distracting your thread.