Lesbian asks court to ban gay adoptions

[deadparrot]

Source: Associated Press

ATLANTA - Sara Wheeler's life has become a contradiction. Once a proud lesbian, she's now a pariah in the gay community. Once in a committed relationship with a female partner, she's rethinking her sexuality.

And now she's doing something she once would have considered unthinkable — arguing that gays don't have the legal right to adopt children.

Wheeler is coming to grips with the fact that she's become an outcast for taking this step in a custody fight for her child. But she says that isn't what her fight is about: "It's about motherly rights."

Wheeler, 36, and her partner, Missy, decided to start a family together and share the Wheeler last name. In 2000, Sara Wheeler gave birth to a son, Gavin, through artificial insemination. Two years later, they decided Missy Wheeler should adopt the child and legally become his second parent.

Read more: http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20070325/ap_on_re_us/gay_traitor

[still_one]

1. I have no idea who this Sara Wheeler is, but what makes her the authority as to who

should or should not adopt, and WHY IS THIS NEWS?

[Liberal Veteran]

2. I'm sick to death of selfish assholes like this....

Like Norma McCorvey who fought for her right to choose but now wants to deny others the same choice.

Or this woman who will now try to destroy other people's families just to win her custody case.

Disgusting and she deserves to be a pariah for even taking that tactic.

If she can prove that Missy is an unfit parent, more power to her, but she is obviously a self-centered hypocrite.

[still_one]

3. Isn't that the truth. pseudo dr laura falls into the same camp

The main point is why do THEY think they should speak for anyone else?

[leQ]

12. offtopic: what a family of cats.....

[mzmolly]

19. Agreed.

There is a child who loves two mothers, and unless one is unfit, they both deserve a role in his life.

[efhmc]

31. Well said.

[lligrd]

4. What Exactly Is Her Point Anyway?

That she doesn't want to share custody? Wouldn't she have the same problem if it was a heterosexual relationship? She has the affair and she claims Missy shouldn't have parental rights? What a loser!

[DuaneBidoux]

37. I think you made the key point: it doesn't turn sour with just gay couples.

Similar happenings occur in the thousands every day with straight couples. It's ridiculous to expect perfection in any endeavor that involves humans straight or gay. Of course this will give an excuse to homophobes who will refuse to admit that it could be the same for any couple.

[rodeodance]

5. How sad. --Missy is a woman scorned:

Georgia law doesn't specifically say whether gay parents can adopt a child, so the decision was up to a judge in the Atlanta area's DeKalb County. After an adoption investigator determined that both partners wanted it, the judge cleared the request.

The couple's relationship later soured. Missy Wheeler wouldn't comment for this story, but her attorney, Nora Bushfield, said Sara became involved with someone else and wouldn't let Missy and Gavin see each other.

Sara Wheeler acknowledged the other relationship, saying "regardless of my action, it doesn't make me a bad mother."

Sara and Missy Wheeler had split by July 2004, and Missy was fighting for joint custody of the boy.

The two sides do agree about one thing: The case is about a mother's rights.

"Everybody seems to forget we're not talking about lesbian rights," Missy Wheeler's attorney says. "We're talking about a child who's been bonded with a mother."

[rodeodance]

6. Her first lawyers warned her the case could set gay rights back a century.

Sara Wheeler made the legal argument that, since nothing in Georgia law specifically allowed gay adoption, the adoption should be tossed out.

Her first lawyers warned her the case could set gay rights back a century.

She hired a new attorney and asked the DeKalb County court to toss the adoption that she had previously pushed for, claiming it should never have been approved because it runs afoul of state law.

News of the tactic whipped up Atlanta's gay community, one of the largest in the South. Lambda Legal, a gay rights group, made a legal filing with the Georgia Supreme Court supporting Missy Wheeler. "There's something about this case that's just tragic," said Greg Nevins, a lawyer for the group.

Laura Douglas-Brown, editor of Southern Voice, the city's main gay newspaper, penned a column accusing Sara Wheeler of "self-hating."

[IndianaGreen]

11. "Self-hating" may well apply in this case

On the other hand, when a partner in a marriage or a relationship wants to win, there are no limits to what they are willing to do. Charges of child and spousal abuse are not uncommon in nasty divorce cases, and they are oftentimes false charges levied by one of the parties desperate to win at all cost.

[Amused Musings]

21. Its so upsetting

that divorce cases can end up so ugly. I agree with you that it is disconcerting what people will do to win, even if it means emotionally scarring the child and burning bridges for a wider movement in the process.

[qwlauren35]

38. I see no self-hate.

I just see a woman who is EXTREMELY selfish, and is about to manipulate the courts into getting what she wants, with no compassion for what else may come of her personal vendetta.

I personally hope that the courts will see through this. If she goes through a normal divorce court, one would hope that the judge will see this for what it is - an EXTREMELY UGLY custody fight that has been taken to the level of absurd.

A person who would go out of her way to get a new law passed statewide just to ensure sole custody... takes selfish to a whole new level.

[marshall]

41. Isn't that what a democracy is about?

I thought in a democratic society anything that is not illegal falls under the "life, liberty, and pursuit of happiness" idea.

[Strathos]

7. What's really is sad is that the freepers and lemmings

will jump on this like a duck on a junebug. (sorry, I live in Tennessee) ;-)

And they'll hold to it like it's the gospel truth.

[mzmolly]

20. This case should be about "childrens rights."

IMHO

[rodeodance]

8. The case has taken a toll on Sara.

Sara Wheeler is asking the state Supreme Court to reconsider her case. Such a request rarely succeeds, but the narrow vote gives her hope that one justice might be swayed.

"There's nothing that states this is an acceptable adoption," she said. "If Georgia wants to allow it, it needs to make proper laws."

As the legal motions flew back and forth, the two women established a workable routine. The 7-year-old boy goes to Missy Wheeler's place every other weekend and on Tuesday nights. The rest of the time Sara Wheeler ferries him to karate practice, plays tag with him outside her apartment and takes him out for pizza every Friday.

The case has taken a toll on Sara.

Aside from a few gay friends, she has turned away from the gay community. She no longer dates, and doesn't go to gay clubs or events any more. She said she is rethinking whether she is still a lesbian or whether she should abandon dating for good.

"I just don't feel comfortable in that scene," she says. "I'm just trying to figure it all out."

[IndianaGreen]

10. She is a prime candidate for the Exodus movement

and another living example that if gays are lobotomized and indoctrinated with enough Jesus juice, they can become straight people.

:sarcasm:

[mzmolly]

18. What about "Sara's" son?

This child has bonded with TWO mothers. "Sara" is apparently quite self centered?

[IndianaGreen]

9. Well, she is in the same league as Roe

The woman that used the name Roe to fight for her right to an abortion, is now a staunch abortion opponent.

Whatever one's personal problems, one shouldn't shit on an entire class of individuals, particularly when one has the Xtian Taliban chomping at the bit to stomp down the LGBT community once more.

[MistressOverdone]

13. Very sad situation

Sara sounds like a piece of work. I'm sorry for Missy. I'm sorry for the child. I'm sorry for the way this drags so many people down with them.

[IndianaGreen]

14. Forgetting the sexual orientation angle, this is no different from a nasty divorce case

Spouses will accuse each other of anything ranging from child and spousal abuse, to thievery.

[MistressOverdone]

17. Well, yes

and maybe that, all by itself is an argument for marriage equality. We are all human.

[sandnsea]

15. Mother's rights???

lol. That ship sailed long ago. She signed the adoption papers, she has to abide by them. The same as if she had named a man the father on a birth certificate. Missy is a legal parent. The only reason to deny her parental rights is if she's abusive.

A lot of men here aren't surprised by this at all, I'm sure. Women can be very mean and selfish in custody battles too.

[xchrom]

16. she's most certainly NOT trying to ''figure it all out'' --

she is trying throught he courts to inflict damage on her former partner.

the only way she can figure out how.

in order to do that she will hurt as many others as she can to make her point.

she hasn't forgotten the same scenario would be true in a hetero-sexual relationship -- she doesn't care.

[LostinVA]

26. Exactly -- very good post

[GoddessOfGuinness]

34. I hope the judge recognizes this n/m

[Liberal Veteran]

22. What would be kinda funny (except for the poor kid in this case)...

....would be if the court ruled that obviously since she believes lesbians shouldn't adopt because they are unfit to be parents, she must turn over custody of the child to a heterosexual couple. It would be poetic justice.

(I'd really not want to see it turn out that way, but I'd love to see this selfish hypocrite get what she deserves for trying to ruin it for everyone else.)

[Solly Mack]

23. This Sara person is using the bigotry against the LGBT community

in hopes of winning her case - and in the doing she is depriving a child of a parent, as well as harming other people

So she panders to the hate directed at the LGBT community


What a POS she is

[queerart]

24. Another Pathetic Self Loather That Will Be A Hero To The Log Cabins

For The Sake Of All The Rest Of Us.....

I wish these "Bat Shit Crazy Queers" Would Get The Therapy They So Desperately Need.......

BEFORE they "start thinking, and arguing" what legal rights the rest of us dirty Homos should have.....

... and if she wants to pull a Anne Heche... then go off and do it already...... and shut the Hell up!

[VegasWolf]

25. I think she took the Reverend Christian Pastor Teddy Haggard's "Go straight in a week"

special prayer session.

[Nevernose]

27. I don't give a shit about gay rights, and I would do the exact same thing

Okay, that was incendiary, granted, but hear me out:

This is about a kid, an innocent seven year old. My parents got the same deal 25 years ago: Tuesday night and every other weekend with ONE of the parents. That's no way to raise a child. If that kid loves and respects someone as a parent, then that kid has a right to be with that parent (unless something is terribly wrong with that parent, of course).

I know that as a straight white male, it's easy for me to say, but I'll say it anyway: there shouldn't be any "gay" rights. There should only be human rights. I don't care what kind of equipment is in your Fruit-of-the-Looms, I don't care if/which god you pray to, how much melanin is in your skin, or anything else. I care only about whether or not you're a human being (vegans feel free to flame ;)) and capable of taking care of the child.

I would probably do the same thing, though, under certain circumstances. If someone were trying to take my kid away from me, things would go badly, regardless of whom I had to sell out. In a case of mistaken identity, the police once tried to physically separate me from my daughter (if you need details, I'll post them later); I suffered, gladly, quite the beating for that, and would do so again. I can understand, even if you're wrong, of wanting your child and being willing to fight for it.

That doesn't mean someone's right, though. It just means you're human. And no one (excluding extra-special circumstances) is entitled to more than half the time with their kid of their kid's time.

For the record, I technically have joint custody with my ex-wife. It doesn't work out that way in reality, of course, because my ex-wife -- who is literally certifiably insane -- just isn't capable of taking care of a kid. I'm far from wealthy, but I don't even collect the child support due me, since with two other kids (one before and one after) she can't really afford it.

What I'm trying to say, in not so concise a way, is that I understand where she's coming from, even if I don't agree with her. Maybe this lady is deserving of sympathy, even if not deserving of agreement.

[MadMaddie]

28. I can see your point...up to a point...

If she were arguing the other woman was not a fit adoptive parent (taking the gay out of the argument) I would be okay with her fighting her battle.

But because she is selfish, she knows the GLBT community is under constant attack by the religious nuts and the courts, she has taken the easiest path to destroy the other party in the case.

If she is willing to subject the child to this kind of bullshit, this makes me think that maybe her parental rights should be reexamined.

She could have figured out a way to deal with this other than the way she did.

You are right there should be only "human rights" but it was only 40 years ago that blacks in America were hung by a rope in trees and cheered on by a jeering crowd.

It will take another 10-15 years before the LGBT community will feel reasonably safe from not having their rights taken away or beaten up in the streets.

* administration and the Republic party has set the country back at least 20 years in the advancement of Civil rights for all Americans.

[Nevernose]

32. Did you say 40 minutes, or 40 years?

You make an excellent point, too, in that "if she is willing to subject the child to this kind of bullshit, this makes me think that maybe her parental rights should be reexamined." Most of us expect people to believe that they are less deserving than others because they happen to have the same genitalia.

(Side note: maybe there IS something to the theory of homophobes and bigots being gay themselves; I certainly don't go around thinking about other men's genitals all day, and spend even less time worrying about it. Women's genitals, yes -- constantly,r in fact -- but not other men's).

Your proposition would require a HUGE leap of logic for most of us, though, and if there's one thing a formal education has taught me, it's that Americans, by and large, are one of the few peoples actually proud of being stupid.

Or maybe I'm just feeling exceptionally cynical tonight.

[MadMaddie]

35. I said 40 years ago....but this is America and I think that it does

happen...

When you say my proposition...not quite sure where you are going...if you are talking about GLBT having equal rights in 15-20 years...well that is to be seen? Okay I could see it as a leap of hope..

As long as the religious right are in power and cloaking themselves in the law every Americans rights are in danger...

Nothing wrong with being cynical....it's kind of hard not to these days.

[donco6]

42. Well, wait a minute.

In this specific case, Missy is only trying to ensure that she gets to keep the joint custody arrangement. Sara doesn't want her seeing the kid at all. I didn't see where Missy is "trying to take the kid away."

Just sayin' . . .

[Canuckistanian]

29. Why is she pandering to the nutcases?

These are the same crowd who would have her executed if they had their wishes.

Sounds like she has a lot of mental issues but she shouldn't be throwing fuel on her own funeral pyre.

[efhmc]

30. This is the type of person who will use whatever part of the system that

satisfies her needs at the time. Just like "Roe".

[GoddessOfGuinness]

33. What about a kid's right to a loving family?

Sara Wheeler sounds like a kook to me. If she's so concerned about her child's welfare, why wouldn't she let him visit his other mom?

[meegbear]

36. If this is the case, then straight couples shouldn't adopt either ...

This boils down to a child custody case, regardless of sex.

[NashVegas]

39. This Just Proves

Gay people are as equally capable of being assholes as straight people.

[meegbear]

40. DING! DING! DING!

Exactly!

[donco6]

43. Yes, she's just using the adoption as a technicality.

Hoping to eliminate Missy from her life. Which is sad.

[SemperEadem]

44. so, Sara's inability to remain faithful to her partner

doesn't impact her having to share custody, but Missy's remaining faithful, but not being the birth mother does? If it was a man who cheated, in over 75% of the cases, the wife would get primary custody and he'd get visitation. Why should the law not see gender in this issue?

Seems to me Sara is punishing everyone else for the right to indulge her own selfishness, including the child. I hope a judge rules fairly for the child, in that both women should get equal custody.