Here's Mrs Betty Bowers's satirical take on the poor.
From the Louis Quinze desk of
MRS BETTY BOWERS
America's Best ChristianDear Well Intended Lost Soul:
Jesus told us that the poor will always be with us. But this simple statement of a thoroughly annoying fact should not be construed as a direction to actually acknowledge them when they wander into your field of vision. I am reminded of the last time this passage from Matthew was quoted to me. It was by dear Juanita after she informed me that she was resigning from Golden Door Spa. As she carefully scraped the deep-cleansing Italian mud off my troublesome t-zone area, she said: "For you have the pores always with you; but me you will have not always." Her words moved me to tears.
Yes, it was lovely of Jesus to make a fuss over the riff-raff. It is for precisely such quaint notions that I adore Him so! Jesus, going way overboard in trying to be an affable Savior (in contradistinction to the vain and spiteful God depicted in the Old Testament, whom the Jews so inexplicably still cling to), did say a few passing words about trying to do something nice for the impoverished. Certainly, a lovely box of chocolates on occasion is always appreciated and never remiss. Oversize balloons that say things, however, are simply annoying surrogates for people too selfish to spend time thinking of a truly thoughtful gifts and only provide people with helium with which to make annoying sounds. They are to be avoided - even when presented to street people without the social acumen to know how truly annoying such a gift is.
Anyway, I would be more than happy to instruct you on how to deal in a somewhat Christ-like manner with people you would never invite to your home. While I can't actually think of a specific time I helped a poor person (other than the Jenkins down the street, who all drive domestic vehicles), I'm quite certain that I would do something for those dreadful people should the appropriate occasion arise. Given the right set of circumstances, I certainly would try to exemplify the loving generosity to the shiftless, filthy poor that our Blessed Savior suggested we might wish to try on occasion. Nevertheless, I have never met a destitute person with the morality and purity of soul worthy of my time, much less pecuniary dispensation. I am sure that, one day, I shall meet someone who pesters me on the street who can do an absolutely rip-roaring rendition of some foreign hobo from
Les Miserables, and I will be so thoroughly enchanted and entertained that I will be selflessly moved to have one of my people give him some loose change.
But let's not go too far! As I have stated, Jesus was quick to remind us "For ye have the poor always with you; but me ye have not always." In other words, don't slight Jesus while he is around for some poorly dressed stranger with a preposterous story about why he needs $5 for gasoline. For any saved Christian, Jesus is indeed
always with us, so Jesus' direction to pay attention to Him and ignore the poor is still in effect for the saved -- a convenience for which I am rather grateful. As always, Jesus is so good to us!
So Close To Jesus, I'm # 3 On His Speed-Dial
BETTY BOWERS
http://www.bettybowers.com/espistle11a.html