Octuplets' Grandma Disses Daughter

[rollingrock]

Source: CBS News/AP

"She already has six beautiful children, why would she do this?" Angela Suleman said in the videotaped interview with celebrity news Web site RadarOnline.com. "I'm struggling to look after her six. We had to put in bunk beds, feed them in shifts and there's children's clothing piled all over the house."

The Web site posted photographs from inside Angela Suleman's disheveled three-bedroom home, where Nadya and her brood also live. Heaps of clothing pour from an open closet door and a carpeted bedroom, where a bedsheet serves as a curtain, is cluttered with cribs.

...Angela Suleman said she and her husband pleaded with Nadya's first fertility doctor not to treat their daughter again, so Nadya found another doctor to work with. "I'm really angry about that," Angela Suleman said of the doctor's decision to perform the procedure.

...Angela Suleman also challenged her daughter's remarks in the NBC interview that she always wanted a large family to make up for the loneliness she felt as an only child. "We raised her in a loving family and her father always spoiled her," Angela said.

Read more: http://www.cbsnews.com/stories/2009/02/09/earlyshow/health/main4785041.shtml?tag=main_home_storiesBySection

---

Her daughter is a total nutcase!

[YOY]

1. Unfortunatly not all of the media is putting the peices together on this one...

Either that or their purposefully doing if for the cutesy cutesy angle...everyone loves babies.

My vote is on the latter.

The woman is either mentally ill or thinks she's being crafty as a fox with this attempt to get free stuff from the cutesy cutesy angle.

At any rate, those poor kids...

[marshall]

2. ***Sigh****, it's called choice

And it's grandma's choice to step back and let her daughter raise this brood.

[rollingrock]

3. The grandmother has NO choice

her daughter and her grandkids have nowhere else to go. They would be on the street otherwise.

What kind of daughter would force that kind of choice and the burden of caring for six kids on her own mother??

What an incredibly selfish and manipulative person this woman is.

[we can do it]

6. They Need To Place the Babies In Stable Homes

[marshall]

9. Grandma has no responsibility other than what she chooses to have

She can move out, or ask her daughter to leave. She may feel a moral obligation, but that is not a legal responsibility.

[barb162]

11. The smartest thing would be to kick her irresponsible daughter out.

But in front of the whole country she then looks like Mommy Dearest. The daughter seems to have been using her mother for years; for free food, rent, babysitting, etc. The mother somehow needs to stop enabling her daughter.

[marshall]

20. Maybe she could sue for custody of the older kids

Or at least get some kind of shared custody but where they are not living together. Or maybe grandpa can take three and grandma take three. The best thing for the octuplets would be to have them put up for adoption, but parental rights are a hard thing to interfere with. There are thousands of people with kids that would be better off elsewhere, but they are protected by our rigid laws.

[barb162]

22. Maybe the grannie needs to reiterate what her psychiatrist said

about not enabling that daughter anymore. She should not have to feel guilty for kicking that irresponsible daughter out and people should not look at her that way, as some bad grandmother, when she's been the one feeding and sheltering these kids the last seven years. It's not grannie's duty to try to keep everything going as her daughter acts out her obsessions. I really feel sorry for this grandmother. That woman needs some peace, not another eight kids in that small house.

The problem with the granny getting custody is I bet she wants the kids to be healthy and happy but at a distance. She's too old to be dealing with a bunch of young kids and she's made it clear that she wanted to be out of that house when her daughter returns. Her daughter is making the house a zoo and the granny somehow has to get control of her house back without being vilified. That house isn't bad for grannie and gramps. Adding another fifteen people makes it a "bit" cramped. I wonder how many bathrooms are in that house.

[karynnj]

25. You ignore that the granmother may love the 6 kids she has cared for

and cares what happens to them. I would think it would be really hard for a mother to let the daughter reach bottom. It sounds like she has no current job, but is attending college and wants to be a counselor - though why she thinks she can help someone else is beyond me. I can't imagine being in that situation - but I really doubt I could throw a daughter and 14 very young grandkids out on the street. This is a nightmare situation - the strange thing is that it wasn't handled better after say Kid 2.

[we can do it]

29. My Aunt Took In My Cousins 2 Kids and Raised Them

My cousin has had a substance abuse problem.

[barb162]

60. My cousin currently is taking care of two kids of her one son.

But 14? And why is the daughter living with her parents at her age? This daughter never could have done any of this crazy behavior without granny's 24 hour a day help and money. It's too bad granny didn't put her foot down about 5 yrs ago.

This daughter is so pathological, it would not surprise me if she had more embryos done. SHe says she won't but I think she's such a user and so obsessive, she's capable of doing it.

[barb162]

59. No I don't. It's her only daughter and I am sure the granny

has been fighting with herself the last seven years about this crap. The daughter is a total user. The best thing grannie can do is stop enabling the daughter to be a user. Somewhere along the line she'll have to do it. It's a horrible situation and the granny may end up not seeing those kids again. I agree it should have been done around kid 1 or 2.

What grannie needs to do is inform her selfish daughter to find an apt for herself within three months and MEAN IT. No more BS. No more 24 hour babysitting, no more using grannie's pension, no more using grannie's house, etc. Granny has to get back control of her own life and let the crazy 33 year old daughter make it on her own, which of course she won't be able to do. Then the kids will be taken away from her and put in decent homes, hopefully with childless couples who can raise those kids well and give them the attention they need. Being with a crazy, selfish, irresponsible mother is not what those 14 kids need.

[superconnected]

48. Since she likely has a heart, she probably won't kick her out becaue of the grand children need a

home.

What's to stop this woman from getting preggers again now? Nothing. I have a friend like this only she's more the jimbobs wife type who does it naturally then gets invitro. Very sad. The woman having the kids needs mental attention.

[barb162]

62. Nothing stops her from having more embryos done

especially if people keep helping her. The daughter is out of control and has been for years.

Grannie has a heart, you can see how upset she is by all of this. But the parents who get their kids straightened out are usually the ones who practice tough love. One alternative is for grannie to call in state counselors and ask for help, saying the situation is simply impossible.

[mdmc]

31. there is foster care..adoption..homeless shelters..

but it would take a hard core Grandma to allow her grandkids to go into the system...

[Donnachaidh]

21. how many women on state aid have full access to IVF?

Show me all the other unemployed Moms who are pregnant or have had MULTIPLE IVF on the State's dime.

"Choice" has abso-frigging-lutely NOTHING to do with this case. NOTHING.

[glinda]

24. That is a good point!

[marshall]

28. Choice doesn't just involve women on state aid

Women make choices for their own reasons--reasons that seem crazy sometimes but that's what choice is about.

And this woman says she is not on any kind of state aid.

I think the situation is a catch 22 in regards to controlling this woman's behavior. The courts in California have already spoken on doctor's deciding a woman is not fit to have IVF. That case was because the woman was a lesbian. I think we start on a slippery slope when we start trying to legislate who can and cannot have IVF, how much they can have, how many they can have at once, etc.

Thankfully something like this is extremely rare, and I wouldn't like to see us jump too soon with regulating women's fertility choices based on this case.

[JI7]

57. there is no comparison to discrimination against someone for being lesbian

and not allowing some moron who already has 6 kids without being able to support them to get IVF.

[marshall]

61. Not in everyone's mind, which is why this is dangerous ground

That's why this is such a slippery slope to start on. It's why we are loathe to start putting laws on late term abortions. Opening the door a crack for something could lead to it being thrown open for something that was never intended.

I'm not saying the woman isn't using poor judgment. But we wouldn't be too far (in my opinion) from the far right's "welfare queen" screed that started with Reagan's made up story about a woman committing welfare fraud and developed into the urban myth of a single woman having baby after baby after baby solely for the purpose of collecting more public assistance.

I think we can criticize her choice here, but I don't want to see us rushing to enact laws or regulations that restrict others more legitimate choices.

[Spider Jerusalem]

30. Choice? Christ almighty. That's just STUPID!

So you think people should be free to make stupid, irresponsible choices that place them in situations which they are unprepared to deal with both mentally and financially? Why? This woman's 'choice' has been condemned by fertility experts as reckless and irresponsible from a medical standpoint, and from the financial standpoint, she's unemployed and on disability and apparently has a cynical expectation that people will just pay her millions of dollars in return for marketing her and her children. And you support this sort of choice?

[marshall]

33. Yes, I support choice, even choices I don't agree with

People around me every day make stupid, irresponsible choices. When I taught high school I encountered countless young people who were getting pregnant, dropping out of school, having risky sex lives--the list would go on and on. I certainly tried to counsel with them and give them advice. Of the dozens of girls I taught who at age 13, 14, 15, or 16 got pregnant, NONE of them even considered giving her child up for adoption. It wouldn't be my choice, and I didn't think it was the best choice, but our society supports choice.

[Spider Jerusalem]

34. There's a difference between supporting responsible and informed choices...

and permissiveness. Your attitude is the latter, not the former.

[marshall]

37. That is true--it's all about tolerance of choices we don't agree with

http://wordnetweb.princeton.edu/perl/webwn?s=permissiveness

(n) permissiveness: tolerance (a disposition to allow freedom of choice and behavior)

[Nevernose]

32. It was a stupid, selfish choice.

And one that will adversely affect 14 young children, 2 old people, and god only knows how many people in society as these children age. It was a choice -- a terrible, irresponsible, selfish choice on the part of a stupid, callous young woman.

[marshall]

35. That is so true

The best outcome would be that this woman give some of these children up for adoption, and try to make a home with the six that are at home with her mother.

I hope it is true that Suleman's father has more than enough money to support them all and put them all through college. That is what he claims.

[juajen]

43. The blame should be on her doctor. He knows that she's crazy.

Her mother knows she's crazy, but her doctor performed a criminal act, as far as I'm concerned. No woman with six children should be using IVF to obtain more. This is ridiclous and he should be held accountable. I want to hear from him.

[Stuckinthebush]

38. When lives are affected, then her "choice" is secondary

Will she choose to do it again and again? If so who will pay for these children? Not her. Her parents? The State?

Sadly the biggest losers in this will be the 14 children who have no chance at a normal, loving childhood. In a couple of weeks this will be old news and media will turn their lights somewhere else. These 14 children will still be there with a single mom who has limited means to support them.

[Arkansas Granny]

40. You're right. It is about choice. Supporting reproductive choices for women

is about letting women choose the size of their families. That would include women who choose not to have children at all and women who choose to have many, many babies. They are two sides of the same coin. You either support choice or you don't. Trying to regulate who can and who can't have IVF or fertility treatments or limiting family size would be no different than regulating who can use birth control or have access to abortion prodecures.

Was it a wise choice? No, I don't think so. Did her doctors act in an ethical manner? No, I don't think so. I don't see how in the world she will be able to care for or provide for all of these children considering her circumstances. However, I think that the sensational details of this isolated case have clouded the basic debate.

[barb162]

71. It's really not about choice, it's about responsibe parenting

She said that people are unfairly criticizing her because she is a single mother. She's missing the point and incorrect. People are criticizing her because she became a single mother by choice while being unemployed, having no money, living with her bankrupt parents, dumping on her bankrupt parents and not straightening her head out despite the pleas of the grandparents. Choice is hardly the issue here. She could be a single father or part of a couple, but if in these cases she was also financially and emotionally unprepared to provide for 14 children, people would be similarly outraged. So it's clearly not about choice. It's about being unprepared, irresponsible, selfish, greedy , abusive to her family and in need of some long term counseling before she ever started having children. Her irresponsibility is out of control and she expects society, I think, to just help her out.

If this is really about choice, you have to ask yourself if you support her having another 14 beyond this even if she has no means of support other than the public (many of whom are facing foreclosure, bankruptcy, etc and having their own financial problems).

PS I always enjoy your thoughtful posts!

[wordpix]

73. I'm with you, barb

[Zhade]

44. This woman doesn't live on the planet alone. Her choice crossed over into selfishness.

Every single one of those poor, likely-to-be-neglected kids will use FIVE TIMES the resources a kid in the developing world will use -- and then grow up to realize their mother only had them so she could get rich.

[Kashka-Kat]

78. Ridiculous- your rights and freedom of "choice" end where someone else's rights begin

14 children carried to term are, by definition, no longer part of a woman's body and have rights under the law - neglect is prosecute-able and I guess we'll just have to wait and see how that plays out.

In the meantime, my opinion (admitedely rather harsh) is that anything ( eg IVF & fertility drugs) that greatly increases your offspring's predisposition to mental/physical disability is in my opinion abuse even though our culture seems to be blind to it (look below - 3 of her 6 are disabled and at that rate 4 of the new batch are likely to be as well.)

AS is emotional abuse/lack of nurturance. By my computation, this woman has 112 waking hours in a week divided by 14 children = 8 hrs. per child or about 60 minutes per day to attend to each child. And that's assuming she devotes every waking hour to the child and won't expend any time to attending to her own needs such as eating, going to the bathroom, grocery shopping, etc.

SAD SAD SAD.

[we can do it]

4. Look Out Gramma - You're Going To Be Attacked Now

The idiots who think littermama is cool won't be happy with you either.

[peace13]

8. Hope those crazy folks find a new home for litter mama so Grandma can have peace at last!

Maybe she can live in Jon and Kate's barn. Who knows?

[barb162]

10. I'll be defending her. She at least is using her brains, unlike her daughter.

[Venceremos]

5. This whole thing

is turning into a really bad reality show.

[Zhade]

45. Well, octomom did say she wants to have a show about all this.

You know, so she can cash in -- which is likely why she did this in the first place.

[wordpix]

72. just what I want to watch--neverending diaper changing, feedings & crying babies vying for attention

sounds like a real winning show to me :sarcasm:

[kestrel91316]

7. I'm predicting CPS involvement in 3.....2......1......

Choosing to neglect children and expecting everyone else to provide for them from the get-go is not acceptable. Nadya Sulaman is a baby collector like come people are cat collectors. And the babies will be the ones to suffer.

[barb162]

14. I hope you're right about the CPS.

Mommaholic should have had her brains checked out before she went on the baby binge.

[NashVegas]

19. Brilliant

Nadya Suleman's publicist Mike Furtney said that his client has been away for nearly two months, so shouldn't be held responsible for the home's current condition.

I suspect Grandma is no peach, herself, and you know what they say about fruit not falling far from the tree. The family is probably as dysfunctional as all hell.

Those poor kids.

[barb162]

64. Supposedly three of the original six children are disabled

so I suspect they are harder to care for than the other three. How is somewhat elderly granny supposed to take care of these six young kids, plus shop, clean them, feed them, clean the house, etc. Grannie should have told her daughter to move out years ago. Probably with each child, grannie was feeling more and more trapped. She should take her psychiatrist's advice and not be there when the daughter returns.

[Nihil]

74. One problem with this:

> She should take her psychiatrist's advice and not be there
> when the daughter returns.

It is the granny's house, not the weirdo's.

I know what people are saying about "enabling the daughter"
but when the alternative is to kick her & her litter out of
the house ... I can see why the granny is trapped.
:-(

[barb162]

86. Granny can give her a deadline, like

3 months, to move out. The daughter can move out to an apt somewhere although I can't imagine anyone renting to a person with 14 children. The big mistake the grandparents made was a long time ago and they are very much trapped unless they can make the very difficult emotional and physical break with their daughter. They have to realize the 33 year old daughter doesn't have the right to totally disrupt their own lives, which of course, she has been doing for years. I know people who have thrown their kids out, as the kids kept taking advantage and finally the parents did it for their own good and the good of the kids. This case is so much more extreme but I would support granny if she did it. The daughter (the user) will keep taking advantage of her parents until they put their foot down with her.

[JoDog]

12. Finally someone's talking sense!

I imagine Nadya's comments that she had a dysfunctional childhood were the last straw for her mother.

[barb162]

16. Damned right.

Dysfunctional childhood? Boohoo. I guess we should all respond by having 14 children and expecting others to take care of them for us.

[XemaSab]

39. Let me paraphrase:

My parents weren't very good at raising me, so I'm trying to make up for that by having WAY more kids than I can possibly raise. They will be mostly raised by... (wait for it)

...my parents.

[rollingrock]

50. I don't know who's nuttier

Octomom or her supporters.

[Zhade]

46. It's the fucking sense of ENTITLEMENT that gets me.

I was raised by alcoholic parents -- but that didn't make me think I was entitled to be so selfish that I had a bunch of kids just to get rich off of them.

[Psephos]

49. Well said n/t

[JI7]

56. and if she thinks her parents are so bad why does she allow her kids to live with them

and be taken care of by them.

[benld74]

13. Grandparents ALWAYS tell it like it is! Go granny!!!!!

[cosmicone]

15. I think that money is the main motive ...

Nady Suleman started her IVF implantation soon after the first octuplets (Fundie Litter) was born and the parents were given millions in gifts.

She kept trying until she had octuplets.

[barb162]

17. "disheveled three-bedroom home"

So let's add another eight to this tiny house where nine are already living.

[krabigirl]

18. i wish everyone would shut up about this case.

[we can do it]

26. Maybe the Attention Will Result In the Kids Being Removed, Like Adolph Hitler

[Zhade]

47. Why? Selfish entitlement-whores like her need to be exposed.

Those poor kids have zero chance at a normal life. And what about those forgotten kids who would like to be adopted?

[barb162]

23. "I'm struggling to look after her six."

The grandmother has to put her foot down, maybe go to the state herself and ask for help getting her daughter out.

[Vinca]

27. While having my car serviced this afternoon, I read an article

in one of the waiting room magazines that said one of the original kids is autistic. It's like another layer of sadness . . . and madness . . . on top of the original story.

[barb162]

67. Three of the first six are disabled

"Suleman receives $490 a month in food stamps, and three of her first six children are disabled and receiving federal benefits."
http://www.chron.com/disp/story.mpl/front/6255420.html

[Stuckinthebush]

36. Sounds like Nadya is addicted to motherhood

or childbearing.

Good luck to the grandparents. They will pick up a large amount of the responsibility in raising these kids.

[theHandpuppet]

58. What's even scarier about this....

... what happens to these kids once they're not cute, cuddly little infants anymore? It seems Octomom is obsessed with babies, not children. I suspect she will lose interest when these 14 start losing their baby fat and she has a schoolbus of pre-teeners on her hands. At that point, I truly believe she will want more in vitro because her true obsession is with infants and being pregnant. It's all about satisfying HER wants and needs, not those of her kids.

[barb162]

68. She's batshit!

Seriously, she needs therapy so desperately and the thought of this woman getting degrees in counseling shows how nutty she is. She cares nothing for her her mother either other than using her for food, shelter and free 24 hour a day babysitting.

[sarcasmo]

41. The Grandmother was already taking care of the kids, I thought that to be the case when I first

Heard of this story. The kids mother has some kind of screw loose, I am sure a psychological term exists for her problem.

[Zhade]

42. Mom's right. The woman's a fucking selfish attention-whore.

What's worse is that she's going to get rich off her child abuse.

[Generator]

51. The plot thickens

Every hour it seems it gets worse.

http://www.google.com/hostednews/ap/article/ALeqM5ilIx-PXnXPpwF1a_nlRYF00fzBIQD968DSUG2

Spokesman says octuplets mom receives food stamps
By SHAYA TAYEFE MOHAJER – 1 hour ago

LOS ANGELES (AP) — The California mother of octuplets already receives food stamps and disability payments to help feed and care for her six other children. Publicist Mike Furtney said Monday that Nadya Suleman receives $490 a month in food stamps.

She also receives disability payments for three of her six previous children, but Suleman did not want to disclose the nature of her children's disabilities or the nature of those payments.


~
THREE of her first six have a disablity? I didn't even know you could get disability for children unless there was a serious problem.

It's a train wreck and I can't stop looking.

[nc4bo]

52. You said three? 3 of the kids have disabilities?!

This thing is getting deeper and weirder by the second.

I feel it's my personal duty to add the mandatory :wtf: smilie right here!

[LisaL]

53. Yep. Now it's been reported her three children (out of first six) are

disabled.
And now she had 8 premature babies. Who knows what kind of consequences these babies will face due to being so premature.

[Generator]

54. So I looked up the SSI definition

How does Social Security decide if a child is disabled?
Social Security has a strict definition of disability for children.

The child must have a physical or mental condition(s) that very seriously limits his or her activities; and
The condition(s) must have lasted, or be expected to last, at least 1 year or result in death.



I HOPE she is a fraud and those children are actually okay.

Also it says children under 2 pounds at birth automatically qualify-so more money from the preemies. Though God knows they need it but after seeing her say she never takes "welfare" this is too much.

[LisaL]

55. One of the children has been described as autistic.

I presume he is one of the disabled three.

[slackmaster]

63. The idea of someone who is on food stamps and disability having a "spokesman" seems a bit odd to me

Can't quite put my finger on it.

[rollingrock]

65. I wonder who this 'spokesman' is working for

and who is paying him or her.

Spokespeople are usually hired and paid by someone.

[Quantess]

66. Not to mention her cosmetic procedures...

The first thing I noticed in her TV interview was her collagen-plump lips and the botox on her forehead. Cosmetic procedures aren't cheap. At least, they aren't cheap for anyone who has trouble feeding her family.

[barb162]

70. I believe she paid for the cosmetic procedures with disability money

from her accident when she worked at a hospital.

[slackmaster]

75. I suppose that's her prerogative, HOWEVER...

Now the taxpayers are going to be stuck with the burden of supporting the tangible fruit of her vanity.

[barb162]

69. Neither can I

Every bit of news shows she's crazier than the day before.

[kskiska]

76. She's begging for money on a website now

http://www.thenadyasulemanfamily.com/

[slackmaster]

77. Must... ...resist... ...urge... to leave nasty comment...

The woman is mentally ill.

[Marrah_G]

80. I couldn't resist........

I told her exactly what I thought of her request for money.

[barb162]

82. So did I. She needs a big reality check so I gave one to her.

She shouldn't be allowed to live in her alternate universe forever.

[Kashka-Kat]

85. Probably not the type of check she had in mind, but - oh well! nm

[barb162]

87. You better believe it.

:)

[Luciferous]

88. Me too.....

the whole thing is absolutely disgusting and I hope she loses those kids. They deserve to go to people who will actually take care of them instead of trying to exploit them for money.

[BrightKnight]

89. I'm betting that her publicist manages the web page. - n/t

[RoadRage]

79. It's not easy to get people on BOTH the Left & the Right to hate you..

but somehow this woman has pretty much managed it. I'm all for helping people get back on their feet.. but this lady seems to be hell bent on not having to work ever again. Either she wants people to give her money because of her faux "celebrity" or she expects the tax payers of California to take care of it. If both of those fall through, well - her mom will do it then, right?

These kids have no shot. At 15 days old, each one of those preemies needs total care & attention. At ages 2 - 7, her first 6 need their mothers constant attention. She can't give any of them what they need even if she knew how to do it, which apparently she can't.

So, these kids grow up without a father already, and now basically with no mother. Even if someone were to adopt them - no one can take 14 kids... no good answer here at all. So sad to see this. :(

[barb162]

83. She takes the phrase "con artist" to new heights.

I think that's one of the reasons so many people are so upset. People are going bankrupt and losing their jobs and they find their taxes are supporting this head case who is breeding like a bunny, abusing her parents, abusing the system, etc. She's a user, a dumper.

[kskiska]

81. Nadya's dad says kids' birth certificates were falsified

Octuplets' Hospital Bill Could Cost Up to $1M

Mounting Controversy: Bill Could Go to Taxpayers; Grandfather Claims Birth Certificates Faked

(snip)

The bill is the latest facet of the growing controversy surrounding the octuplets' birth that also includes accusations by the octuplets' grandfather that their mother, Nadya Suleman, falsified birth certificates by listing a fake name, David Solomon, as the kids' father.

Falsifying birth certificates is a felony, punishable by a maximum of three years in jail.

more…
http://abcnews.go.com/GMA/Parenting/story?id=6853385&page=1

[barb162]

84. I hope the authorities use this.

If she goes to jail, she can't find a doc to have more embryos implanted.