US fruitcakes take Afghanistan by storm, military says

[dArKeR]

SPARTANBURG , SOUTH CAROLINA
Thursday, Mar 04, 2004,Page 6

Claxton fruitcakes have now contributed to world peace, or at least they've made Lieutenant Colonel Glenn Bramhall of Spartanburg a popular American in Afghanistan.

Bramhall is commander of a unit of 300 soldiers from all branches of the military who are there to train and mentor the 3rd Brigade of the Afghan National Army.

The Americans train the Afghans to use tanks and armored fighting vehicles.

Bramhall left for Afghanistan before the height of fruitcake season in the South. So his mother-in-law mailed two Claxton fruitcakes to her son-in-law's compound outside of Kabul.

The US commander shared his "Southern delicacy" during teatime with an Afghan general, who devoured it and demanded to know which "secret" bakery in Kabul baked the cakes, because his people had never had such a delicacy.

http://www.taipeitimes.com/News/world/archives/2004/03/04/2003101088

Our military is priming them for McDonalds. Then Delay will send his staff there to teach them the 'Art of Immoral Government Corruption.'

[JaySherman]

1. Oh. I thought they meant Christian fundies.

When I first read the headline. Seriously.

[Lorien]

5. I thought Rumsfeld and his staff were visiting

n/t

[smirkymonkey]

14. LOL! I thought

a lot of things, except actual fruitcakes! :)

[htuttle]

2. Fruitcakes? On civilian populations?

Yet another violation of the Geneva Convention!

You know, it's weird. This story has no byline, no press attribution. Yet it's in the Taipai Times, and the dateline is from Spartanburg, South Carolina.

Does the Taipai Times have a Spartanburg correspondent?

This has the smell of a Hill & Knowlten PR piece, all things considered.

[BrotherBuzz]

10. Yes, it does smell a little to

warm and fuzzy. It might be interesting to find the Afghans covet the fruitcakes because they found them to be the ideal building material. Indestructible!

[CaptainClark23]

21. thats why you make the big bucks, htuttle!

good nose.

[htuttle]

22. Ever since I saw the video version of 'Toxic Sludge is Good For You'...

...I've become conscious of the amount of PR spam that's presented as 'news'.

It's kind of amazing. I don't think I can go a week watching my own local news without seeing one of those 'feature interest' stories done by a 'special correspondent' I never heard of before. The stations get the tapes in the mail all the time, and all too often on a slow news day end up just dropping them into the newscast unedited (and unattributed). Works the same way with print news.

The groups handling PR for the Bush admin are actually the very same PR agencies, and seem to use the same toolkit.

I'd advise everyone to watch that video sometime. I think it's available at Democracy Now's site or FSTV's site ( http://freespeech.org ).

[Art_from_Ark]

24. Considering that the Taipei Times never gets any story right about Japan,

I would take this story with a whole mountain of salt.

[VolcanoJen]

3. Fruitcakes???

Interesting, although I suspect a "lost in translation" moment here...

[montana_hazeleyes]

4. Fruitcakes?!?

We are really testing the limits of our cruelty.

[Cooley Hurd]

6. They hate us for our...

...fruitcakes.

[JaySherman]

7. LMAO! Saw that one coming.

[Judi Lynn]

8. Bull's eye! Congratulations.

DU'ers could just hug you!

[imax2268]

9. hey...

what about Stuckey's Pecan log rolls...?

Fruitcakes and those go hand in hand don't they...?

[lcooksey]

11. Heretics! Unbelievers!

Yey, verily, thou hast not tasted the true fruitcake of goodness!

http://claxtonfruitcake.com/ (as seen on Food Network)

BTW, I've never had a Claxton fruitcake myself, but I can vouch for Alton Brown's Free Range Fruitcake recipe. I've made several of them every year for the past 3 years and they are da bomb.
http://www.foodnetwork.com/food/recipes/recipe/0,,FOOD_9936_14244,00.html

A good fruitcake is very good, but a bad fruitcake is very, very, VERY bad.

[Virginian]

13. My Great Aunt used to make really good fruitcakes.

She would soak a cheesecloth in alcohol (I think Sherry) and cover the fruitcake with it to keep the fruitcake moist.

She started baking them in the 1920's. I wonder what she used in those days to keep them moist?

[kayell]

26. Be assured that a Claxton fruitcake, despite it's press is NOT a good

fruitcake. Will the claxton fruitcake people now come after me for product disparagement? Will they be able to find any judge willing to sentance a fruitcake disparager?

[alittlelark]

28. They are the bomb - so we're bombing Afghanistan again!!!

:evilgrin:

[montana_hazeleyes]

29. I heard the police are getting reports of

missing door-stops all over America!

[TacticalPeek]

12. Against the rules to use armor-piercing projectiles against personnel.

Technically.

[Lisa]

15. um -- are these the kind with booze in them?

And if so, did they tell the Afghan general?

[tom_paine]

16. Oh, I think the Afghanis could give DeLay lessons

in the "Art of Immoral Government Corruption".

Sure, DeLay is scum and a Totalitarian Bootlicker, but even HE is honest compared to Afghani governance...

[mike1963]

17. Can't be true. There is only one fruitcake in the world, it just keeps

getting re-shipped to someone else at xmastime.
;-)

[peterh]

18. I have this mental image of the Editor…

at the Taipei….with a crooked grin, he lets out…what the fuck, print it…it’s a natural…

[DrWeird]

19. "his people had never had such a delicacy."

OK, so I've never been to Afghanistan or eaten the food, but I'm willing to bet it's a hell of a lot better than fruitcake.

[DoNotRefill]

20. War Crimes!!! War Crimes!!!

eom

[Ediacara]

23. hehehe

+ =

LOL

[Sophree]

25. There's an actual SPARTANBURG in SC?

Oh my!! If anyone has any question left about why South Carolina is so pro-war, there's your answer. lol

[mobuto]

30. Spartanburg's an interesting town

Lots of closed-down mills, a new BMW plant, lots of poor working-class whites. A lot of people there despise Bush - the city has really suffered economically under him and they blame him. The city is named, btw, after a local regiment that fought at the Battle of Cowpens just outside the city.

[Skittles]

27. I mailed three Entenmans fruitcakes to soldiers in Iraq for XMAS

I did it as a lark but they devoured them and loved it.

[Buns_of_Fire]

31. That's nothing. Look at what Halliburton is building in Kabul...

http://www.roadsideamerica.com/attract/SCDILsob.html

(On edit: It's a southern thing. Click on the link for more information... :-) )