News Flash: John Ashcroft To Undergo Gall Bladder Removal Surgery

[TheWebHead]

per MSNBC/Faux

added AP story link:
http://www.thecarolinachannel.com/news/2907639/detail.html

[trumad]

1. errr...good luck John

;-)

[Ilsa]

2. I was surfing & just heard Faux say he had kidney stones.

I think they meant gallstones. What a bunch of losers.

[zbdent]

39. Hmm, sounds like Faux News facts.

Yep, they're "informed".

[htuttle]

3. And our top story tonight...

DAY 6: Attorney Generalissimo Ashcroft is still dying.

[hang a left]

4. Bummer it's just gallstones.

n/t

[Mistress Quickly]

5. I hope he comes through ok

so he can get his ass nailed later on!!!!!

[colonel odis]

6. i hope his surgeon is from every minority group ashcroft hates. n/t

[rooboy]

7. "Doctor, his blood is GREEN !!!! Ewwwwwww..." n/t

[Voltaire99]

30. LOL!

Nice one. :-)

[BJ]

8. "In developed countries, the most common cause of...

...acute pancreatitis is alcohol abuse."

Gallstones my rosie red patoot!

[Paco]

34. Thanks

for pointing this out BJ. My bet is that Asscrack's pancreatitis was caused by drinking too much "holy" water. He even has the look of an ALCOHOLIC.

:dem:

[Cooley Hurd]

9. They don't have to worry about monitoring his heart...

...since it's non-existent.

Seriously, I hope the AG gets well soon. He has some 'splainin to do to the 9/11 commission (like, why he cut the DOJ's terrorism budget right before 9/11, or why he decided to stop taking commercial flights during the summer of 2001).

Get well, Mr AG - Mel Carnahan doesn't want you in heaven... yet.

[aquart]

29. Mel will never see him. He ain't going there.

[PatGund]

37. Don't Worry

<i>"Get well, Mr AG - Mel Carnahan doesn't want you in heaven... yet."</i>

Don't worry. That's not the direction he's going in.

That being said, I hope he comes though his surgery. I'd hate for him not to answer to a court of law for his contempable actions in abusing the constitution, the bill of rights, and indeed, every principle this country was founded on.

Though if he doesn't make it though, that would mean, in my viewpoint, a "higher court" has decided to try him for his deeds. Certainly his karma would call for it. But I'd rather see him tried in a temporal court first

[onehandle]

10. Get well soon, Mr Ashcroft.

All the best to you and your family.

You need to be healthy and rested to begin writing your memoirs next year.

[lebkuchen]

11. Will this surgery require that he pee in a bag?

Curious as to how serious the operation will be.

[foreigncorrespondent]

15. If it is just a gall bladder removal...

...it isn't as serious an operation as it used to be. Meaning they don't make the huge cut right across your belly anymore.

I had one done over 10 years ago now, and the surgery I had will most likely be different to what Asskkkrack will go through (meaning it has improved again, since my surgery.) All they did to me was made four small incisions, one below my belly buttom, one to the right side of my belly button, and two above my belly button and removed my gall bladder with the use of a laparoscope.

It also depends on his health. There were complications during my sugery, and I almost died on the operating table. I was only 25 at the time, but because I am a smoker, it caused some serious problems.

[trogdor]

23. He'll be up and shredding the Bill of Rights again in no time.

Three or four days. A week, max.

[jamesinca]

17. He may be given a catheter

I don't think that is the usual case with a cholecystectomy, especially if it is done laporoscopically. If he were your typical citizen paying into an insurance company, he would be a 23 hour observation after surgery. If post operative problems arise, anything from inability to urinate to problems with the vital signs they may keep him longer than 23 hours. Since he is not a typical citizen, they may keep him 2 days even if everything goes very well. I doubt they would put a catheter in him. If they do catheterize him I am thinking anything larger than 22fr. and no KY jelly would be called for.

[bicentennial_baby]

19. LOL...

As someone well acquainted with the ins and outs (pun intended) of catheterization, I am giggling. Definitely no KY!

[Missy Vixen]

43. I had mine out a year ago

>Curious as to how serious the operation will be.<

I was amused to hear that Ashcroft would be in the hospital "a couple of days" after his gall bladder removal. I had mine out in December of 2002. I arrived at the hospital at 6:00 AM the morning of my surgery, the laparoscopic surgery was performed at 7 AM, I was out of the operating room an hour and a half later. I was home, in our bed, by 10:30 AM.

I was up and walking around (for short periods,) that afternoon. I stopped taking the pain pills four days later. If surgery can be described as a "piece of cake," this was it.

I realize that Ashcroft has some other health challenges at this point, but a two-day hospitalization for a routine gall bladder removal? It's too bad that the average American doesn't have that luxury.

Julie

[soleft]

12. Guess that Crisco went straight to his gallbladder

[Jose Diablo]

13. Hate is Loves twin sister

they are joined by care. You hate someone or you love someone, in both cases you care.

I do not care about Ashcroft and this is far worse than mere hate. It would be fitting if he meets his karma and dies under the knife. I wouldn't care if this happened.

To me he is already dead.

[BiggJawn]

16. I agree.

Someone asked me if I hated my ex-wife. I said "No, I don't hate her. Actually, I just don't CARE about her."

I don't care about Calico Johnnie, either. I recognize that he is a danger to our freedoms, but I don't care if he lives or not.

There will never be the trials we'd like to see after the BFEE is deposed, so there's no need for him to remain on "this side".

[GregW]

14. Heard he also had an asshole transplant

and the asshole rejected him!

(Apologies to Monty Python)

[mobuto]

20. I'm going to steal that one

n/t

[llmart]

18. News Flash!!!!

I don't care!!!!!

[noonwitch]

21. He'll feel a lot better once the surgery is over

The day after my gall bladder surgery, I woke up feeling better than I had in years. Of course, I had the short procedure with the scope done-with his complications, he probably has to have the long procedure/incision, that takes 6 weeks to heal up properly.

[Zero Gravitas]

22. Get Well Soon, Mr. Attorney General

We need you this fall as yet another reason to vote against Bush.

[central scrutinizer]

24. He seems to have a lifetime supply of bile

so he shouldn't miss his gall bladder. But we won't be able to say that he has a lot of damn gall to shred the Bill of Rights.

[Aristus]

25. Th'Mawster wawnts all th'prisonas hewlfee 'for they're broken!

[otohara]

26. Remove His Unmitigated Gall Also

n/t

[Voltaire99]

31. Poifect. :-)

[burythehatchet]

27. Pass the rusty scalpel

[goclark]

28. My Prayer

I am praying that he has skilled surgeons. It will be interesting to see the names and faces of his surgeons. Maybe if they are minorities,grew up poor or gay he will change his thinking during his recovery.

I have had serious surgeries and when you look in the face of that doctor or nurse that comforts you,everyone looks equal in God's eyes and mine.

As an example, Dr. Ben Carson from Hopkins Hospital is African American. I believe that he could make any patient change to a liberal Democrat as well as a person for justice.

"Can't we All Get Along?"
Famous and profound quote by Rodney King/ African American

Maybe Ashcroft will see the true light after this experience. I am praying for him and for our country.

[Missy Vixen]

44. Isn't this the truth?

>I have had serious surgeries and when you look in the face of that doctor or nurse that comforts you,everyone looks equal in God's eyes and mine.<

Doctors and nurses are doing the work of the angels, aren't they?

Go Clark, I'm hoping for all good health for you, and I join your prayers for our country.

Julie

[Jacobin]

32. He needs to get healthy again

So he can be imprisoned in an ordinary jail. :-)

[kskiska]

33. Isn't it possible he was a closet drinker?

That would explain why there's not much being said about his condition. He may be undergoing detox in addition to being treated for his medical problems.

And if he is a drinker, he must be full of guilt for being a sinner, and that's why he's overzealous and punishing everyone else for his sins.

[Star]

41. Probably not drinking

I had pancreatitis caused by gallstones about 20 years ago. Very, very painful, and I was also in the hospital for about a week before they operated to remove my gallbladder.

If his pancreatitis was caused by drinking, removing his gallbladder wouldn't help his condition.

[Melinda]

35. I wonder if they'll find a heart in there?

Couldn't happen to a more deserving soul.

/sarcasm :eyes:

[thebigidea]

36. wouldn't it be a shame if they assigned Andy Warhol's nurse to him

[symbolman]

38. I'm wondering if this guy

has CANCER.

Sounds like evil little cells are bouncing around in his guts..

not to mention the brain.

[0007]

40. Calling doctor Kevorkian, paging doctor Kervorkian

Doctor Kevorkian also does excellent surgery

[Shakespeare]

42. Let's hope nobody over-prescribes pain meds for him...

...after all, he himself has said that's such a big problem now, so big that it's the justice dept's next big target. A little pain is good for the soul, right John? :grr: