by Nicholas von Hoffman
The puzzle is the size and flush capacity of the toilets in what Amnesty International
calls "the gulag of our time," or what our media refers to as the "facility" at
Guantánamo Bay, Cuba. As everybody knows, a
gossip-column item in Newsweek magazine reported that a
Koran had somehow been disposed of down the crapper in
front of horrified Muslim eyes, inciting riots and
demonstrations on the other side of the world.
The Right Honorable Scott McClellan, the voice of the White House, insisted that
American concentration-camp loos are not used for book disposal. Going into his
"people of faith" routine, the man told reporters that "our United States military personnel go out of their
way to make sure that the Holy Koran is treated with care." Since Reverend McClellan and his confreres
have, as they say, no street cred left, it would’ve been more to the point if he’d skipped his carping
about the magazine and addressed the big question—namely, how do military personnel get rid of big fat
holy books via the dumper without clogging it? If you drop a whole book in and flush, a rather disgusting
overflow will result. Do these Christian soldiers stand by the toilets, rip out a few pages and flush, rip out
some more and flush, and then rip, flush, rip, flush, until they’ve gotten rid of every last holy word?
One other possibility comes to mind: chemical toilets. They don’t flush. A Christian can drop the whole
damn Koran down into the mess and then kick back and listen to the Muslims who witnessed the act
howl.
Bryan Whitman, a Pentagon spokesman, says that Al Qaeda members have been ordered to lie about
their treatment in American camps. Mr. Whitman, whom I would take to be about as believable on Iraqi
topics as Vladimir Putin discussing Russian democracy, would serve his bosses better not to bring up the
subject of prevarication. In mitigation of the Pentagon on the question of speaking other than the truth
about Al Qaeda, etc., one cannot distinguish when they are deliberately telling untruths, when they are
themselves misinformed, when they are ignorant, or when they are being stupid and confused.
http://www.observer.com/pages/observer.aspdp