Our President's Brilliant Strategy

[smoogatz]

I don't know what you liberal pantywaists are bitching about. As Our Fearless Commander in Chief explained the other night, he has sent U.S. troops to invade and occupy Iraq--a country which neither attacked nor threatened us, but which as a matter of irrelevant coincidence happens to be sitting on top of the world's second largest oil reserves--with the prescient knowledge that every al Qaeda terrorist on the planet would immediately go there and present themselves as targets for our military. Our Dear Leader has informed us that all of the people in Iraq who are violently resisting the U.S. occupation are al Qaeda terrorists who, if they were not blowing up American troops in Iraq, would be hijacking planes and knocking over skyscrapers in the U.S. of A. Our God-Selected President's plan, then, is to keep sending U.S. troops to Iraq to get blown up (bring 'em on!) until every terrorist in the world is dead--even the new ones we create every time we drop a bomb on an innocent family's house or imprison and torture an innocent Muslim. In order to facilitate this process, Our President-Who-Walks-With-Jesus has ordered the Department of Defense to replace all U.S. Army and Marine insignias on all uniforms and vehicles in the Iraqi theater with large, red-and-white targets, so that the enemy will be even more tempted to attack our troops, thus keeping us even safer here at home, so the patriotic shopping (and consumption of fossil fuels) that is the duty of all Americans can continue unabated. I, for one, will sleep better at night, knowing that President Bush DOES have a plan for winning the GWOT, in which Iraq is indeed a central theater, which all you wussies have apparently forgotten. Thank you for listening.

[fob]

1. That is perfect with one minor tweak. The GWOT is The War

Against Terra or TWAT. And we all know bush* knows TWAT from his TANG days as a Cuntsman in Alabama.

[indepat]

2. Thankfully some are as or more cynical than I with a much keener

mind and way with words, and a better grasp of the big picture. Thanks, I needed that.