A Big, Easy Solution

[IDemo]

An emergency evacuation plan for all America

BY BILL COPE, Boise Weekly
SEPTEMBER 7, 2005

Dear George,

I have an honest and sincere request to make of you. I would understand fully if you didn't give me the courtesy of a response since, as you must know, I have written some awfully harsh things about you in the past. On second thought, you probably don't know, seeing as how those harsh things have all appeared in a newspaper. And the way I hear it, you pay less attention to newspapers than you do to weather reports.

But look, I'm not here today to say harsh things. If you took that newspaper crack as a harsh thing, I apologize. What I intend to ask of you is vitally important to the well-being of this country, and I don't want to jeopardize America's future by blurting out something critical to a man who takes criticism as poorly as he picks cabinet members. That's why I addressed you as "George" this time, instead of the impersonal "Bush" or the preferred "Monkey Boy." Maybe ... just maybe ... some day I'll be able to call you "Mister President" without gagging. But let's take it one step at a time, if that's OK by you, George.

Let there be no doubt about it, what I am asking has a great deal to do with the horrific scenes of catastrophe and incompetence we all witnessed in New Orleans just one week hence. But frankly, it is the perils awaiting us around the next corner that concern me more than the way you botched the Katrina crisis. For instance, what if the "Big One" hits California? What if Mount Rainier up Seattle way pulls a St. Helens and turns the entire Northwest into an ashtray? What if Antarctica's Ross Ice Shelf drops off from that global warming your cronies claim isn't happening, and raises the world's seas to a level where your chubby bro's Florida is knee-deep in sharks and salt water? What if one of those Muslim zealots you so successfully enraged manages to slip a suitcase nuke past the Homeland Sekurity Kops who did such a bang-up job with the Katrina situation?

And, Lord help us, what if one or more of these terrible things were to happen before Inauguration Day, 2009? You know ... when finally, we will be rid of you.

http://www.boiseweekly.com/gyrobase/Content?oid=oid%3A149615

[longship]

1. Right. Write a letter to a functionally illiterate person.

I hope he has somebody to read it to him.

[ellenfl]

2. i like that!

maybe babs could read it to him . . . or laura since she can presumably read, being a librarian and all.

ellen fl