“no way of predicting how Dick Cheney will respond to earth’s atmosphere"

[underpants]

http://www.borowitzreport.com/default.asp

CHENEY TO SPEND ENTIRE MONTH ABOVE GROUND Will Expose Himself to Sunlight to Boost White House Approval Ratings

Vice President Dick Cheney said today that in an effort to pump up the White House’s anemic approval ratings he would remain above ground for an entire month and would not return to his secure, undisclosed location until November.

The vice president, who emerged from his underground lair two weeks ago for a series of high-profile photo opportunities, made the surprising announcement at a press briefing in the White House.

But according to Dr. Lars Krenzel, a scientist who studies the habitats and migration patterns of vice presidents for the University of Minnesota, Dick Cheney’s extended visit to the earth’s surface means “a journey into the unknown.”

“There is no way of predicting how Dick Cheney will respond to the earth’s atmosphere,” said Dr. Krenzel. “One thing is certain, however: whether he is above ground or below ground, his Halliburton stock will continue to rise.”

[livetohike]

1. This one was great

I like Borowitz. I get his reports in my e-mail and usually end up forwarding to my friends.

[CrispyQ]

2. lol

“One thing is certain, however: whether he is above ground or below ground, his Halliburton stock will continue to rise.”



Arghh!!! :banghead:

[Historic NY]

3. I can predict the Cheney will add to global warming...........

because he is such a "gas bag". Cheney breaks wind as soon as he opens his mouth.

[Demeter]

4. Vampires Evaporate in Sunlight

they must be really desperate.