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Edited on Thu Oct-23-03 09:34 AM by calm_blue_ocean
but this one is completely fictional:
"Conversation Between A Fetus and Her Doctor"
One day a fetus was scheduled to undergo a medical procedure. The pregnant woman who was bearing the fetus was relatively poor. True, she had a car and television set and even basic cable, but she was in poverty when compared to many of her fellow citizens in the U.S. Adding to this difficulty, the man who had supplied the spermatozoa that germinated the fetus had made his opinion clear. His opinion was that he did not want to marry the pregnant woman and most especially did not want to pay child support payments for the next 18 years. As you can see, the pregnant woman was in a difficult spot.
Fortunately, the man with the leaky penis was willing to provide money for an abortion. He even found a doctor who would agree to perform the medical procedure for one thousand dollars. On top of contributing the one thousand dollars, the man was willing (eager, even) to provide transportation to and from the medical clinic where the abortion procedures were performed. The man had to miss most of a day of work, but he was willing to make this sacrifice so that the pregnant woman could get the medical treatment that they both desired her to have.
When the man and woman got to the medical clinic, it turned out that the doctor would not accept an uncertified check from the man. However, the doctor would accept a credit card payment in consideration of the medical procedure that was to be performed that day. Fortunately, the man indeed had a credit card with over a thousand dollars of unused credit. Once this fact was established in the lobby of the medical clinic, the credit card payment was processed over the computer system of the clinic by the clinic’s secretary. This kind of payment was routine and the secretary handled the payment procedure quickly and competently.
The pregnant woman and the fetus in her uterus had to wait for a few hours after the payment was made while preparatory work for the medical procedure was performed. It took so long because the fetus had been conceived 6 months earlier and was therefore large in size and “viable” (medical term meaning technically able to survive outside of the uterus when appropriate medical care is provided). However, when the abortion procedure began at last, a curious thing happened. It turned out that this fetus could talk. This is highly unusual because most fetuses are not able to talk because of a lack of mental development and also because of the amniotic fluid that surrounds them. Nevertheless, this particular fetus could talk and decided to have one last chat with the doctor before her termination.
FETUS: Hello doctor! I hope your credentials are good. Have you performed many abortion procedures on fetuses as advanced as me?
DOCTOR: Oh, you startled me. I have indeed performed thousands of abortions, but I must admit that you are the first talking fetus I have encountered.
FETUS: Well, please, don’t let me distract you, but there is something I wanted to discuss and I was really having trouble making myself heard before you put the pregnant woman who bears me into the surgical support system.
PREGNANT WOMAN (groggily): Whaaa, what’s goan onnn?
DOCTOR: Well, fetus, I am your doctor, too. I guess I owe you the courtesy of a quick consultation. However, it must be quick -- I have another abortion procedure scheduled in Room B in an hour.
FETUS: Well, I was just wondering if we could, like, not do the abortion?
DOCTOR: What a curious thing to suggest. It is quite clear to me as a medical expert that the pregnant woman who bears you, as well as the man with the credit card, very much want this procedure to be performed and performed safely.
FETUS: See, that’s the thing. I wasn’t consulted. I was kind of thinking that if you could use your persuasive powers as a medical expert, then we could convince the pregnant woman who bears me to forego this procedure and carry me to term.
DOCTOR: Okay, let’s think this through. I would have to refund the thousand dollars as a matter of medical ethics if I did not do the abortion. However, I am a relatively wealthy doctor and I do not absolutely need that money. Still, the pregnant woman who bears you has requested this procedure and I do have duties to her.
FETUS: I did want to talk to her, but I was having trouble making myself heard with all this amniotic fluid in my mouth . . .
DOCTOR (interrupting): Yes, yes, don’t you see, that is the point . . . she provides you with a cushion of amniotic fluid, she provides you with nutrient laden blood, she provides you with antibodies. You can’t continue homeostatic existence without her. She owns you. The laws of this particular state even say so.
FETUS: I appreciate the pregnant woman and all she has done for me over the last 6 months -- you must believe me I do. Still, if you talked to her, as a medical expert, you may be able to convince her to carry me to term.
DOCTOR: As a medical expert, I can’t do that in good faith. Do you realize that her chances of dying childbirth may be as much as 66 in a million. The chances of her dying from this abortion procedure are significantly less than that. You do not want the pregnant woman to die after all she has done for you.
FETUS: No, I don’t want that.
DOCTOR: Plus, the pregnant woman’s good health may be at stake. By continuing to bear you, this pregnant woman might be damaging her health.
PREGNANT WOMAN: (unintelligible, muffled sound)
FETUS: What do you mean *could* be damaging her health? Either I am or I’m not.
DOCTOR: You see when they wrote the late term abortion law they did not say “one can only get a late term abortion if the life and health of the pregnant woman is in jeopardy.” Rather, these abortion procedures are permitted in this state for any reason or no reason at all. Therefore, as a medical expert, it is not within the legally prescribed scope of my duties to inquire into these circumstances on a case-by-case basis. I am to focus efficiently on the cutting and sucking, as it were, and leave those other potential circumstances to the sound discretion and judgment of the pregnant woman.
FETUS: (gulps) Yes, but the pregnant woman is under economic duress. She is living in poverty. I think that is the real reason she wants this medical procedure.
DOCTOR: Look, pregnant women should be provided for. They should have good sex education at an early age with a view to avoiding unwanted pregnancy. They should be provided with access to affordable contraceptive devices so they can engage in intercourse without fear of pregnancy. If an unwanted pregnancy should occur, the pregnant woman should be confident in the knowledge that her fetus will be adopted by a caring, able family upon its birth. However, society has not met all of these conditions yet. If they had, I would wake up the pregnant woman and let her know, but we are not there yet. You were simply conceived too soon!
FETUS: How about adoption? I hear that 98% of adopted children live above the poverty line. Adoption, that’s the ticket.
DOCTOR: Not so fast. Your skin, if you can even call that underdeveloped dermis you have “skin,” could turn out to be black. We don’t know at this point. You must understand that black infants have much poorer prospects in the adoption process. To force the pregnant woman to carry you to term could result in acts of racism against*you*.
FETUS: I see your point. Besides, how would the pregnant woman feel if worst came to worst and I ended up as a ward of the state? It could haunt her for life.
DOCTOR: (inserting a retractable propeller into pregnant woman’s vagina): So that about wraps up this consultation.
FETUS: But, but, oowwwww, my organs, my liver, my limbs, oh, the pain.
DOCTOR: Let’s have some suction. Nurse.
THE END
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