Bush Blasts Pentagon Leak of Iran War Plan "The Big Right Turn"

[bemildred]

The White House went on the offensive today condeming the leak of the US's war plans for Iran. The President has ordered a complete security lock down at the Pentagon to halt any more leaks of sensitive documents. The Iran war plan dubbed "The Big Right Turn" which was leaked to reporters yesterday outlines the administration's plans to invade Iran using Iraq as a stable base of operations."

"We are going to hunt down and kill the people responsible for the leak of this sensitive information. I mean we are going to hunt them down, give them a first class trial and then kill the people responsible for leaking these war plans." Pledged the President during an early morning press conference. "We are taking this leak seriously and I have decided that Dick Cheney is going to spear head the operation to find those responsible. I have also ordered the Pentagon into a security lock down until we can find some one to blame for this leak."

The Iran war plan is called "The Big Right Turn" and refers to the path American forces will take as they cross the border of Iraq to subdue Iran in the event of war. The plans call for a massive surprise attack followed by a quick run across the country to Teheran. Once the government is toppled the people of Iran will embrace the invading armies as liberators after the yoke of the democratically elected government has been cast off.

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"This is the best war planning money can buy." Says defense expert Kenneth Cutbert. "A surprise attack and smashing advance to Tehran will stun the Iranian government and rally the oppressed people of Iran to our cause. I love the plan, a very small force of highly experienced soldiers should be able to pull it off in a long weekend. The first few hours will be the toughest, but once the people of Iran join American forces the thing should go off without a hitch. I great mixture of the war plans for the Iraq War and the Bay of Pigs. Tis plan is a real winner."

Unconfirmed Sources

[acmavm]

1. Even though it's a parody, for this bunch it sounds all too possible. n/t

[Flabbergasted]

2. I was wondering until paragraph two. Good One

[The Magistrate]

3. Are You Sure About This Source, My Friend?

[bemildred]

6. Well, it seemed very credible to me, Sir.

Would anyone make something like this up?

[The Magistrate]

10. My Policy Is To Believe Nothing, Sir

Till it is printed in "The Onion"....

[bemildred]

11. And a good policy it is Sir.

The Onion and the funny pages are often far closer to the truth than anything that pretends to be serious.

[ewagner]

4. It took a second reading

to realize that this is a parody

I can't seem to get into the humor....

[bemildred]

7. That's the thing, it sounds all too real.

It seemed to me that they went all the back to Gulf War I and Schwarzkopf for some of the more bullshitty rhetoric.

[Betsy Ross]

5. Parody , eh?

It seemed so likely as to be believable.

[Canuckistanian]

8. Is this CHB?

That Doug Thompson is a good writer, and his sources are impeccable!

[cliss]

9. Even if it is true, there are some problems

with these plans. The assumption is that the US decides to use Iraq as a staging ground and then "turn right" and attack Iran. Several flaws:

1) what manpower? We don't have enough people to invade Iran. There are 150,000 US troops in Iraq right now, not enough to even pacify that country. We could bring in more, but we're stretched to the breaking point around the world.

2) If we brought in more troops, Iran would notice. They would also notice if we brought in planes with nuclear bombs.

3) Iran 68 million people. They're loyal, well-trained. I'd like to see that clown Bush subdue them.

4) Why Iraq? They've made it clear they're friends with Iran. They'd tattle.

5) Why not use Dubai then? They're our bestest buddies.

[george_hurley]

12. ***PETITION TO SIGN: NO WAR WITH IRAN ***

Hello,

For the past year, the growing tensions mounting between the US, Israel, and Iran are reaching a point where military action against Iran is w/in months of becoming reality. The repercussions are terrifying as such military action could involve countries such as China and Russia as they share massive energy/economic interests w/ Iran. The most likely scenario we would face would be the collapse of the US economy as the combination of a massive rise in oil prices and a run on the US dollar would surely be the weapon many countries would use to fight back against a preemptive US or Israeli strike.

For a collection of articles and resources on this subject you can visit this link: http://reseaudesign.com/research/iran/iran_summery.html

I'm starting up a petition which I will be sending out to as many members of Congress as possible. I'm asking for help to get this signed by as many people, possible in the next month. Send it to as many people you can.

http://www.petitiononline.com/n0war1rn /



Also, here is another petition you can sign from another group:
http://stopwaroniran.org/statement.shtml




Thanks for your time