US Deploys Suicide Bombers

[bemildred]

The Army acknowledged that it now trains and deploys suicide bombers as part of its security campaign in Iraq.

"We can't keep fighting the last war," said General Fred Butler. "You don't win a modern war with night-vision, Kevlar, and air power. You win it with a backpack full of fertilizer and nails."

No one will say what prompted the strategy shift, but some credit an unnamed Army corporal who drove his Humvee into a mosque during evening prayers. The crash ignited an explosives cache inside and killed 312, including the driver.

---

Insiders claim a robotic alternative, the Unmanned Suicide Bomber, is already in development. The Army will not comment.

Dead Brain

[ShortnFiery]

1. As if, we ever could claim a Moral High Road ...

Employing the use of Suicide Bombers shoots that argument all TO HELL!

How could we, as Americans, stand by and watch these DEPRAVED leaders ruin everything we, as children, cherished about this beautiful Country.

And now we must hope and pray that the FEW honest Republicans still in power will do the right thing and CHALLENGE these evil bastards?

We are SO screwed. :cry:

[Dhalgren]

3. Check out the site.

I think that anyone who posts a satirical piece must say that it is comedy (of the sick sort). Our Fascist Dictatorship is just too frighteningly crazy and you just cannot assume that everyone is going to know when you are being funny or when the moronsters have committed their latest atrocity. Just my two cents...

[ShortnFiery]

5. Thanks Dhalgren - the satire is not appreciated when we are

actually being led by such crazy and morally depraved BushBotBorg.

Like - LABEL this shit, will ya? Some of us are seriously freaked out by the true possibility of nuclear war. Our sense of humor is not angled toward such intelligencia ... did I mention we're freaked out by the REAL moral depravity within this Executive Branch? :P

[INDIA]

9. uhhhhhhhh.......

pretty sure this is fake.

[bemildred]

10. Me too. nt

[dipsydoodle]

2. Hmmmmmm

Very witty. Was taken in until I got to the bit about the strawberry shake.

[enigma000]

4. You win it with a backpack full of fertilizer and nails.

Ha! that's funny. "Unmanned Suicide Bomber" - is that not a smart bomb?

[ShortnFiery]

6. When more and more of our beloved troops are coming back

in a box, the humor of a satirical "suicide bomb" story, well ... it's completely lost on me. However, I'm still grieving the unexpected death of my father who served in the Combat Engineers during WWII. I can only imagine how un-funny this would be to those who have just returned from Iraq with the memory of "goo" you last remembered to be your best friend's face.

Sorry, just please label satire so that I don't read it ... I'm too gut punched with grief right now.

[ktlyon]

8. no, it's our pres.

"Unmanned Suicide Bomber" very funny

[notadmblnd]

7. so our kids are volunteering for suicide missions?

Some how I don't think so.

I've often asked myself what would it take for me to strap on a pack of explosives and walk into a crowded building or mall and blow myself and many others up. And so far I haven't some up with any reason that would make me do this. Not the death of a family member.. not losing everything I've had and worked for my entire life.

So what is it (loyalty to the US Gov?) that is going to make our kids strap these things on and do this to others? Anyone? Anyone? Bueller?

I have this sick feeling that many of these so called suicide bombers are in reality victims. That they are people who have been grabbed off the streets and forced to into these missions.

It all just takes be back to the pizza delivery guy incident where he claimed he went to deliver a pizza and someone strapped the bombs to him. He was begging for someone to help him and the authorities just let him sit in a parking lot and explode. Anyone remember this incident? I think it happened after 911 but before the sniper shootings a few years back.

am I rambling here?

on Edit: after reading the rest of the article and concluding it is indeed satire.. I still don't think it may be far from the truth.

[PATRICK]

11. Training dolphins

to launch themselves onto the shore and crawl towards minarets?