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In a classic case of “what goes around comes around,” leading Democrats today called for the impeachment of President Bush, based on his recent grope of German Chancellor Angela Merkel.
Resigned to the fact that they’ll never be able to nail Bush on his true crimes of lying the Country into war, and shredding the Constitution on a scale that would put Nixon to shame, Democrats are now prepared to “out-Lewinsky” the GOP. As Senate Minority Leader Harry Reid succinctly put it, “Hey, instead of copping a feel, Bush should have had a V-8 at the G-8.”
Democrats claimed that although Bush’s misbehavior involved no semen-stained dresses, it was far worse in staining the entire nation before the international community. “Besides,” said Reid, “these sophisticated diplomat-types have no problem with oral sex with an intern, but eating with your mouth full is strictly verboten.”
Predictably, Republican leaders strongly condemned any comparison to Clinton-Lewinsky, since Bush’s action did not involve any genitalia. However, according to historians, Federalist Paper No. 69 expressly defines “sex” to include any incident where a woman — as with Merkel — experiences an involuntary spasmodic episode.
In addition, Democrats may add another impeachment article against Bush for “eye-rape,” based on his look into Putin’s soul.
However, conservative think tanks such as The Heritage Foundation plan to head off any impeachment drive with a legal challenge, confident they can count on at least the four conservative members of the Court to rule that as to foreign leaders, the President has unlimited groping authority under his powers of Commander-in-Chief.
Moreover, based not only on his record as a “swing” voter, but on his very name, there is also speculation that a fifth vote in favor of groping will be provided by Justice Kennedy.
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