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In top-secret and stunning Pentagon papers leaked to The New Yorker’s Seymour Hersh, the mystery of the Bush Administration’s invasion of Iraq has finally been laid bare.
Contrary to the worst suspicions of the Left, the report establishes that the war had nothing to do with oil. Instead, the obsession to depose Saddam was actually instigated by the corporation that manufactures all those yellow ribbons that you see on the back of SUVs.
This latest generation of “Pentagon Papers” reveals that high-ranking Administration officials cleverly dumped all of their shares in oil companies, knowing full-well that the mayhem in Iraq would actually suppress oil production there.
Instead, in exchange for initiating an unnecessary and counterproductive war, Bush, Cheney and numerous cabinet members received stock and stock options in the Halliburton Ribbon Company, whose omnipresent yellow ribbons are a perfect metaphor for the chicken-hawks in this Administration.
According to Sy Hersh, the huge profits from these yellow ribbons are the primary reason why the Neo-Cons will never pull U.S. troops out from Iraq.
Indeed, a separate accounting by the non-partisan Congressional Budget Office confirms that Americans have spent five times as much on yellow ribbons since the start of the war as the military has expended on body armor for the troops.
Windfall profits from yellow ribbon sales would have been even greater, stated the CBO, if all the “old oak trees” around which such ribbons are also tied had not been destroyed under Bush’s “Healthy Forest” program.
Addressing these revelations, President Bush asserted that “Americans can have both their yellow ribbons here, and their troops cut to ribbons over there.”
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