THE GOP’S TOP TEN ‘VOTER QUALIFICATIONS’

[Don Davis]

As recently reported, Republicans, under the guise of preventing voter fraud, are promoting state laws that require photo identification or proof of citizenship in order to vote. The reality is that these laws are designed to disenfranchise seniors, minorities, students and other likely Democratic voters.

However, confidential sources have now revealed that the GOP is trying to enact even more exacting poll tests, as part of their scheme to steal yet another election. Here, then, from the home office of Palm Beach County, are the Top Ten GOP Voting Qualifications:

10. Driver’s license, and a driver.

9. Membership in an all-white country club.

8. Marriage to a trophy wife, with a girlfriend on the side.

7. Second home — located outside the country.

6. At least one indictment for tax evasion, settled with payments from a trust fund.

5. Two last names, followed by a Roman Numeral.

4. Employment of illegal nanny, gardener, and a personal assistant.

3. Complete set of monogrammed underwear.

2. Subscriptions to the opera, ballet and National Review.

1. French cuffs, German car, and a Swiss bank account.

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BREAKING NEWS:

The Bush Administration’s threat to bomb Pakistan back to the Stone Age was not the only threat delivered to Musharraf after 9/11. High-ranking Pentagon sources have told Seymour Hersh that if Pakistan did not support U.S. military operations, the Vice President’s office was prepared to “out” Musharraf’s wife — as the centerfold in Playboy’s Girls of the Muslim World.

Meanwhile, Osama bin Laden is holding off on his next threat to destroy the West until he kicks off his upcoming book tour.

[VivaLasVegan]

1. Heard this quite awhile back

There's a little-mentioned group of impoverished Republicans. They're known as the second homeless.

[patricia92243]

2. Employment of illegal nanny, gardener, and a personal assistant

That is not fair. It should be nanny, gardner OR a personal assistant. Not all three - some of us don't have a need for all three.

:sarcasm:

:(

[yurbud]

3. you'll never get into the best clubs then. You also need an anal valet

to use natural sponges to cleanse your buttocks after they massage your ass cheeks to get the poop to come out.