Senate Wins Fight (Lower Allowable Amps On Detainees' Testicles) Onion

[Demeter]

http://www.theonion.com/content/node/53539/print/



Senate Wins Fight To Lower Allowable Amperage Levels On Detainees' Testicles
September 29, 2006 | Issue 42•40



WASHINGTON, DC—Led by a bipartisan group of senators critical of White House policy on suspected terrorists, the Senate passed a bill Thursday that prohibits interrogators from exceeding 100 amps per testicle when questioning detainees. "Even in times of war, it counterproductive and wrong to employ certain inhumane interrogation techniques, and using three-digit amperage levels on the testicles of captives constitutes torture," said Sen. John Warner (R-VA), who has also supported reducing the size of attack dogs and the height of nude pyramids. "Using amperages of 99 and lower, with approved surge protectors on the jumper-cable clamps, are the hallmarks of a civilized society." The legislation did not address amperage restrictions on suspected terrorists' labia.

[rock]

1. And water-boarding can only be done with 'potable' water

Filthy water is out! Yea!

[izzie]

2. Funny in a sick way. Then maybe we are not dealing with

'men' who under stand such thing. After all most of these
'men' seem to find guns the manly thing.