The Top 10 Conservative Idiots, No. 273

[top10]

The Top 10 Conservative Idiots, No. 273

January 8, 2007
Delusions Of Grandeur Edition

Happy New Congress! The Democrats took control of the House and Senate last week, while conservatives continued to act like idiots. Enjoy - and don't forget the key!



George W. Bush

For the past four years, George W. Bush has insisted that when it comes to troop levels in Iraq, he listens to his generals. Of course, if the generals ever made suggestions that Bush didn't like, then obviously they were more than welcome to find employment elsewhere. Take Gen. Shinseki for example, who was given the boot after making the ridiculous suggestion in 2003 that it would take several hundred thousand troops to succeed in Iraq.

But now that the generals - and, in fact, everybody else in the world - think that it's time to start pulling troops out of Iraq, George W. Bush has a better idea. He's going to send more troops! Huzzah! That should solve the problem.

If you're looking for proof that Bush always listens to his generals, check out this snippet from a December article in the London Times.

General George Casey, the senior commander in Iraq, and General John Abizaid, commander of US forces in the Middle East, fear that a troop increase will only delay the time when Iraqis take responsibility for security and could provoke further violence.

Now check out this snippet from a CBS news story last week:

Meanwhile, Mr. Bush is shaking up his top military and diplomatic teams in Iraq, as he prepares to unveil his new war strategy in a speech to the nation next week. Gen. John Abizaid, the top U.S. commander in the Middle East, and Gen. George Casey, the chief general in Iraq, both are expected to leave their jobs in coming weeks.

See? Bush always listens to his generals. And if he doesn't like what they're saying, he can easily get new ones.

According to MarketWatch, Bush will next week "call for the deployment of as many as 20,000 additional American combat troops to Iraq," only a few years too late for it to make any difference. If you're starting to get the sneaking suspicion that Our Great Leader is trying to drag this whole mess out for another two years and then simply hand it over to his successor, don't be silly. George W. Bush clearly has far too much respect for the troops to pull a cynical political stunt like that. After all, he said he was going to make an announcement about this in the middle of December, and then decided to wait until after the New Year so that the troops in Iraq could have a nice relaxing Christmas. See how he cares?

And besides, Bush has never in his life run away from a problem and passed the buck to someone else, unless you count every single business venture he was ever involved in before getting into politics.



Fox News

I'm sure you've all heard by now of the Democrats' "100 hour plan" in which they intend to "break the bonds between lobbyist and lawmaker, boost homeland security, raise the minimum wage, fund stem cell research, lower prescription drug prices, slash student loan interest rates and free the country from its dependence on international oil," according to the Washington Post. It's a solid, non-controversial way to kick off the 110th Congress - those are certainly all strong issues for middle-class and working families.

So here's how Fox News reported on the Democratic takeover last week:


Got that, Fox News viewers? Now that the Democrats are in charge, they're going to turn America into San Francisco. And we all know what that means, right? Right? Nudge-nudge, wink-wink?

For those of you not familiar with the right-wing media's little code-words, let me spell out what Fox News is trying to imply. Within 100 hours of taking charge of Congress, the Democrats are going to make everybody in America G-A-Y.

So clench those buttcheeks, red-staters! Enforced sodomy is coming soon to a neighborhood near you! You think that's a gavel Nancy Pelosi is holding?



George W. Bush

Late last year George W. Bush signed a postal reform bill into law. According to the New York Daily News, "Most of the Postal Accountability and Enhancement Act deals with mundane reform measures. But it also explicitly reinforced protections of first-class mail from searches without a court's approval."

Therefore you won't be surprised to learn that Our Great Leader added a "signing statement" to the bill during the congressional recess which says that actually he can open and read anybody's mail without court approval. Which is the complete opposite of the law that he signed.

Why would Bush want to read your mail? Well, mainly because he's The Decider, and he can do anything he damn well chooses, including opening and reading your mail without a warrant, even if the law specifically says that he can't. So it's not so much that he actually wants to read your mail, but hey, he's already decided that he can read your e-mail and listen to your telephone calls, so it seems a bit silly for him not to be able to read your snail mail as well, right?

And anyway, if George W. Bush doesn't have the power to open and read everybody's mail, how will he ever be able to intercept stuff like this?


* See Idiots 246.



Fran Townsend

If you're still wondering why Our Great Leader hasn't been able to smoke bin Laden out of his cave yet - despite being able to open and read everybody's mail - you really need an attitude adjustment. Just listen to what homeland security adviser Fran Townsend had to say on CNN last week:

ED HENRY: But now as 2006 ends, Osama bin Laden is still at large. Heading into 2007, how confident are you that he can be brought to justice this coming year?

FRAN TOWNSEND: Well, there's no question in my mind that he'll be brought to justice. The real question is whether or not it's going to be this year. I will tell you that I feel increasingly confident, you know, it was interesting. There's a recent poll and the American people said 71 percent of them were optimistic that we can protect the country.

And I think they've got reason to be optimistic. We've made a lot of progress. They see the progress we've made. We've disrupted plots. We've made reforms in our system, in our security system. So on bin Laden, do I think we are going to get him? I absolutely know we're going to get him.

The question is will it be this year. And I will tell you I think there's increased activity both the part of the CIA, JSOC and our partners, the Pakistanis.

HENRY: You know, going back to September 2001, the president said, dead or alive, we're going to get him. Still don't have him. I know you are saying there's successes on the war on terror, and there have been. That's a failure.

TOWNSEND: Well, I'm not sure -- it's a success that hasn't occurred yet. I don't know that I view that as a failure.

See? By simply redefining the word "failure," Fran Townsend has proved that the Bush administration has not failed to capture Osama bin Laden. All you have to do is picture him sitting in a prison cell in U.S. custody at some undetermined point in the future, et voila, mission accomplished.

In fact, if you think about it, it's extremely unfair that George W. Bush has so far received absolutely no credit whatsoever for this hypothetical victory in the War On Terror. But that's the liberal media for you.



Pat Robertson

Perhaps Fran Townsend shouldn't get too excited about the successful capture of bin Laden that hasn't happened yet - last week Pat Robertson announced that "God has told him that a terrorist attack on the United States would cause a 'mass killing' late in 2007," according to the Associated Press.

"I'm not necessarily saying it's going to be nuclear," Pat said on the Christian Broadcasting Network. "The Lord didn't say nuclear. But I do believe it will be something like that."

Gee, thanks, Lord. Couldn't you be a bit more specific? I mean, if you're going to to give Pat the lowdown on this year's upcoming mass killings for him to share with the nation on his television show, couldn't we at least get some dates or something?

Mind you, one has to wonder whether the Lord is just dicking Pat around for the fun of it. For example, in May of 2006 Pat revealed that, "If I heard the Lord right about 2006, the coasts of America will be lashed by storms. There well may be something as bad as a tsunami in the Pacific Northwest."

And on January 3, 2005, he announced that, "the Lord has some very encouraging news for George Bush ... What I heard is that Bush is now positioned to have victory after victory and that his second term is going to be one of triumph, which is pretty strong stuff. ... He'll have Social Security reform passed. He'll have tax reform passed. He'll have conservative judges on the courts. And that basically he is positioned for a series of dramatic victories which I hope will hearten him and his advisers. They don't have to be timid in this matter because the wind is blowing at his back, and he can move forward boldly and get results."

Can't you just picture the Lord chortling and nudging Jesus in the ribs after hanging up on Pat?

Now, I'm sure it's crossed your mind that there's an extremely remote possibility that the Rev. Robertson is just making this stuff up. But consider this: if there is a massive terrorist attack on the United States in 2007, then that will prove without doubt that God really exists and Pat is his one true prophet.

Either way, the Lord is still accepting donations via the CBN website. Better pony up now just in case Pat gets it right this time.



Virgil Goode, Dennis Prager, Glenn Beck, et al

Last week the first ever Muslim congressman, Keith Ellison (D-MN) was sworn in, and to hear the right-wingnuts freaking out about it you'd think that America was now being run under Sharia law, especially after Ellison declared that he would perform his ceremonial oath-of-office photo-op with a Koran. Over the past few months:

CNN's Glenn Beck opened his interview with Ellison by asking, "No offense, and I know Muslims. I like Muslims. I've been to mosques. I really don't believe that Islam is a religion of evil. I -- you know, I think it's being hijacked, quite frankly. With that being said, you are a Democrat. You are saying, 'Let's cut and run.' And I have to tell you, I have been nervous about this interview with you, because what I feel like saying is, 'Sir, prove to me that you are not working with our enemies.'"

Rep. Virgil Goode (R-VA) wrote a letter to his constituents which read, "I do not subscribe to using the Koran in any way. The Muslim Representative from Minnesota was elected by the voters of that district and if American citizens don't wake up and adopt the Virgil Goode position on immigration there will likely be many more Muslims elected to office and demanding the use of the Koran." (Never mind the fact that Keith Ellison is not an immigrant.)

And radio host Dennis Prager insisted that "America, not Keith Ellison, decides what book a congressman takes his oath on," writing that Ellison's decision to use a Koran during his swearing-in photo-op "undermines American civilization."

(Prager also wrote that, "When all elected officials take their oaths of office with their hands on the very same book, they all affirm that some unifying value system underlies American civilization. If Keith Ellison is allowed to change that, he will be doing more damage to the unity of America and to the value system that has formed this country than the terrorists of 9-11." In fact, the U.S. Constitution clearly states that "no religious Test shall ever be required as a Qualification to any Office or public Trust under the United States.")

But Ellison got the last laugh after he performed his photo-op using a Koran which once belonged to... Thomas Jefferson. Yes, the Thomas Jefferson. Ellison borrowed the book from the rare book and special collections division at the Library of Congress. According to the Washington Post, " This isn't the first historic book used for swearing-in ceremonies -- the Library has allowed VIPs to use rare Bibles for inaugurations and other special occasions."

So just out of curiosity, Messrs. Beck, Goode and Prager: do you also think that Thomas Jefferson was working with our enemies and undermining American civilization?



Basically, Just Racists And Morons

Sen. Barack Obama (D-IL) may or may not be running for president in 2008, but if he does run, can he win? Don't be silly - he's got the wrong name! And he dresses like Mahmoud Ahmadinejad! And he's probably a Muslim!

Last December, conservative commentator Debbie Schlussel was shocked to discover that Obama's middle name is - gasp - Hussein. Which, according to the U.S. Constitution, disqualifies him from ever becoming president of the United States. Don't believe me? Check out Article 2, Clause 5:

No person except a natural born Citizen, or a Citizen of the United States, at the time of the Adoption of this Constitution, shall be eligible to the Office of President; neither shall any Person be eligible to that Office who shall not have attained to the Age of thirty-five Years, and been fourteen Years a Resident within the United States. And no citizen shall be eligible to the Office, if their middle name is neither White, nor Anglo, nor Saxon, nor Protestant. Or if it sound like that of a Brown person, in general.

Schlussel also points out that even though Obama calls himself a Christian and attends church, "In Arab culture and under Islamic law, if your father is a Muslim, so are you. And once a Muslim, always a Muslim." And since we're "fighting the war of our lives against Islam" then there's the strong possibility that his "loyalties" are going to lie elsewhere.

Which, with all due respect to Godwin's Law, makes Debbie Schlussel sound like Adolf Hitler. I mean, seriously. Here's what Adolf wrote in Mein Kampf:

A man can change his language without any trouble - that is, he can use another language; but in his new language he will express the old ideas; his inner nature is not changed. This is best shown by the Jew who can speak a thousand languages and nevertheless remains a Jew. His traits of character have remained the same, whether two thousand years ago as a grain dealer in Ostia, speaking Roman, or whether as a flour profiteer of today, jabbering German with a Jewish accent. It is always the same Jew.

Sound familiar? And hey, wait a minute - Schlussel does have a suspiciously Austrian-sounding name, which by her own logic probably makes her a genocidal maniac, or something.

Fortunately even right-wing commentators were turned off by Schlussel's racism, but that hasn't stopped the rest of the media from making some "accidental" - and not-so-accidental - blunders when it comes to Barack Obama.

In mid-December CNN ran a story on Obama's name, complete with flattering pictures like this:


...and this:


Around the same time, CNN's senior political analyst Jeff Greenfield compared Obama to Iranian president Mahmoud Ahmadinejad. From the transcript:

GREENFIELD: ...in the case of Obama, he may be walking around with a sartorial time bomb. Ask yourself, is there any other major public figure who dresses the way he does? Why, yes. It is Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, who, unlike most of his predecessors, seems to have skipped through enough copies of "GQ" to find the jacket-and-no-tie look agreeable.

(snip)

Now, it is one thing to have a last name that sounds like Osama and a middle name, Hussein, that is probably less than helpful. But an outfit that reminds people of a charter member of the axis of evil, why, this could leave his presidential hopes hanging by a thread.

Then, just last week, CNN dropped this one (which, to be fair, they subsequently apologized for):


...and Yahoo News jumped in with this:


So there you have it: Barack Hussein Osama bin Laden dresses like Mahmoud Ahmadinejad and worships Allah. Tune in next week when we find out that in his spare time he enjoys burning bibles, golfing with Kim Jong-Il, and clubbing baby seals to death with his huge black penis.



Dan Burton

The new Democratic majority in the House pushed through a package of much-needed ethics reforms last week. The reforms, according to the Associated Press, "expand restrictions on privately financed trips enjoyed by lawmakers, and require greater disclosure of earmarks, the pet projects inserted into legislation at the behest of individual lawmakers."

431 representatives voted on the package, and it passed by a resounding majority. How resounding? Well, 430 of the 431 representatives voted for it. One did not. The lone gunman was our old friend Dan "Watermelon" Burton, who presumably thinks that lawmakers simply don't get to go on enough junkets with lobbyists.

Personally I think Dan is way ahead of the game on this one, and should run for president in 2008. His campaign platform would be simple:

• More perks for Congressmen


• More government waste


• More free trips paid for by lobbyists


• That's about it

He can't lose!



George W. Bush

Last week, to the surprise of many, Our Great Leader wrote an op-ed in the Wall Street Journal. Well, I say he wrote it, obviously he didn't actually write it. He probably didn't even know about it.

But anyway, an op-ed bearing the name of George W. Bush appeared in the pages of the Wall Street Journal last week, so for the sake of argument, let's say he actually did write it.

Now that Dubya is out on a limb without his Congressional safety net, he's suddenly become very concerned about bi-partisanship - although as Editor & Publisher pointed out, "Oddly, he chose the venue of the major newspaper with the most conservative editorial page in the country to make this call to put partisanship aside."

Bush has also apparently discovered a new-found respect for fiscal responsibility, which, again, is slightly odd. Even the right-wing Washington Times acknowledges that "Mr. Bush has increased the annual federal budget by $800 billion, from $1.86 trillion in 2001 to $2.65 trillion in 2006, and has rung up deficits every year from 2002 to 2006."

Finally, Dubya sent a warning shot across the bow of the new Democratic majority: "If the Congress chooses to pass bills that are simply political statements, they will have chosen stalemate."

Funny... I don't remember Bush similarly admonishing the Republican-controlled 109th Congress, which spent most of its time passing bills for Terri Schiavo, naming post offices, and pretty much fucking everything else up. I guess he was too busy signing all of their awesome bills into law.



The Republican Minority

And finally, they say a picture is worth a thousand words, so I'll leave you with this delightful shot of the new Republican minority enthusiastically welcoming the new Speaker of the House, Nancy Pelosi:


Oh, how sweet it is. See you next week!

-- EarlG

[cboy4]

1. Great list.....I still say FAUX News has a monkey sitting at the keyboard

typing that shit onto the screen.

If they're not misrepresenting political affiliations, they're peddling homophobia.

It's really a disgrace.

[uberllama42]

28. I guess you mean that in the same sense that we have monkey sitting at our national keyboard in the

Oval Office. A monkey wouldn't be able to put together such obviously contrived and racist "mistakes".

[krispos42]

2. Excellent

I almost spewed Diet Coke at least THREE times while reading it!

:yourock:

[alittlelark]

3. Who is the hideous man Heather Wilsons' face is next to?

I'm thinking he must be a Munster.

[njdemocrat106]

23. I think that's Frank LoBiondo (R-NJ)

I also lost count of how many chins were in that picture. Them Republicans ain't a pretty sight.

[Archae]

4. This picture is priceless.

My congressman, Tom Petri, is just to Hasty Pudding's right, next row forward.
And does he look HAPPY! :rofl:

[ClintonTyree]

24. They're contemplating their new forced gay lifestyle.....

you know, with the Nancy Pelosi "San Francisco" Congress and all.

EarlG, I don't know how you whittle it down to a mere 10 idiots each week. There's enough idiot fodder in the Republican party for a top 100 list each and every week with plenty to spare.

Once again, fine job of exposing the stupidity and hypocrisy of the minority party. :) It sure feels good typing that. Minority party, minority party, minority party, minority party........ I could do that all day. :rofl:

[The Wizard]

25. Looks like an ad for

anti-depressants.

[immoderate]

29. ...or laxatives!

--IMM

[NBachers]

55. The Hemorrhoid Bunch

Preparation H!

": a mass of dilated veins in swollen tissue at the margin of the anus or nearby within the rectum -- usually used in plural -- called also piles"


These Republicans give a bad name to hemorrhoids.

[trogdor]

31. They look like they're about to crap their pants.

They should be scared.

[Magginkat]

40. Good Ole Boy's Club

The picture of the Republican Minority is the best ever!
The Good Ole Boy's Club look as though they are at a funeral which is most appropriate for that bunch of crooks. If only we could prosecute all of them in one grand swoop!

[geardaddy]

47. Who is the woman rep in upper left?

She looks like Miss Hathaway from the Beverly Hilbillies.

[cagoldensun5050]

50. Heather Wilson (R-NM)

[badgerpup]

5. K & R!!!

Thank you! I feel much better now....:crazy:
:applause::yourock:
I have MISSED this feature and you are back with STYLE!! :thumbsup::thumbsup:





:kick:

[Maat]

6. Excellent!

This weekly helps KEEP ME SANE!

Thanks.

[Initech]

7. Just when I thought AM hate radio couldn't get any worse...

Honestly, if I ever get elected to Congress, I'd swear in on the Koran (not only to piss those people off intentionally, but to also promote tolerance of religious freedoms).

[ekwhite]

22. Nice idea

Since I'm a Buddhist, I'd swear in on the Dhammapada. I'm not sure if that would make Pat Robertson's head spin though...

[momster]

35. Since I'm a romance novelist....

I'd take the oath on Sweet Savage Love.

[Initech]

45. Perhaps if you swore in on the book of Daoism...

Personally, I would like to see a Congressman swear in on a copy of Dianetics. :evilgrin:

[ProudDad]

59. I'd use Das Capital

and "People's History of the United States" by Howard Zinn...

[DeSwiss]

8. Absolutely...

Postively. EXCELLANT!!!!:)

We've missed your idiots parade. So many idiots, so little time.....

And now a word from Pat:

[EarlG]

17. That's hilarious

:rofl:

[FVZA_Colonel]

20. About that photo, I just have to ask:

Did he ever realize that he was throwing up the horns right then?

[moggie]

21. Pat is totally metal

[Warpy]

9. Wow, what a bunch of sourpusses.

That's Heather Wilson (R-COW) in the upper left, trying to choke down a mildewed slug.

[Irishonly]

10. It was worth the wait

I have missed the Idiot list. You came back with style. How do you choose? There are so many idiots and so little space.;-)

[walldude]

11. Missed ya.. Great list as usual!

:toast:

[rpannier]

12. The picture at the end is great

The look of unhappiness on the part of the house republikkans is priceless.

[EarlG]

18. I have to give the credit for that one to cat_girl25

She posted it first on DU:

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=show_topic&forum=364&topic_id=3053310

It was too good to pass up on.

[Mugsy]

53. Uhm, no, that is MY photo!

I captured that shot myself. Still have the oversized hirez orig if you don't believe me. :)

[ninkasi]

13. EarlG, again, you are simply awesome

EarlG strikes again! Well, to be fair, you have plenty of material to choose from, but still, you always know which highlights to offer us. That last picture, the poor, poor, :nopity: :nopity: :nopity: All I can think of when I see that picture, is the taunts we used to get after the SCOTUS, in an act of criminal insanity, handed the presidency to the least possible qualified person to hold it....we won, you lost, get over it. They need to get a lot more practice in.

In the meanwhile, I'm sure that same sad bunch will provide you with a great deal of material for future top ten conservative idiots in the months to come. Thanks!

[xxqqqzme]

14. The picture is great. Thanx for that.

hasturd looks so pouty; I don't think he is putting his hands together even to be polite. Not very bi-partisan of him.

[Jagrett1]

15. Another Masterpiece Earl G...

Your top ten list takes the sting out of Mondays! Excellent
work!!!

 

[orleans]

16. nice job--loved the "dear abdul" letter even though i had to google

that cow.

[JohnnyLib2]

19. A picture is worth 1000 words--

*'s HAT! A wonder in itself. Loved the 10 Inbred Idiots, too.

[oldshoe]

32. That pic shows too much truth.

Clearly these SOBs will NEVER play fair, and Pelosi & Co. should keep their back covered while investigating the hell out of these thugs. They've been petty tyrants and thieves for 12 years and this photo shows their true (lack of) character.

C'mon, y'all, if you ain't doing it yet, pony up a monthly contribution to John Dean's candidate support fund so that we can retire these old sour pusses to wax museum where they belong.

[The Wizard]

26. So if you put your hand

on an ink stained stack of bound paper and take an oath everyone is supposed to believe what you say. Prior to urinating on the Constitution, Bush, Cheney, Gonzalez, et al, took an oath to defend that very Constitution. That ink stained stack of bound paper really makes a difference.
Thank Zeus I'm a Democrat.

[SalmonChantedEvening]

27. Clench those buttcheeks redstaters! Bahahaha!

Still giggling at that line EarlG!! :rofl:

Thanks for a great list and a belated Happy New Year!!

SCE :pals:

[Demlobos06]

30. Indiana must love their congressman wasting their money.

It takes a lot of balls for a man to be the only one to vote against lobbyist reform. Maybe he can sell "clinton-did-it" watermelons or something to finance his junkets.

[Future Principal]

33. not a black face to be found, and only two women

The modern Republican Party: The party of inclusion.

[johnnyrocket]

34. Brilliant, very well done "Top 10"...

Good writing, and a good compilation!

[Aviation Pro]

36. That last pic....

...is the biggest Go Cheney Yourself I've ever seen. Can someone please Photoshop that photo so that all of them are in orange jumpsuits and handcuffs? Afterall, that should be the next logical photo op.

[curiousdemo]

37. Old Fat Boy Dennis...

looks bewildered and lost. Nancy desonated that he take his fat ass and seat in the back of the class. Look at that Mug.....he's in the very last row of the house, hiding. Boy, he looks pathetic....Bush and him are Frick and Frack..

LOL :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

[Catchawave]

38. Pat prays away the hurricanes !

Donations go up!!!! And when one does cause some damage, he blames The Lord's mad at homosexuals....Donations go up HIGHER!!!!!!!!

True story.

[chervilant]

39. Wow!

Gosh, EarlG, I was Jonesin' for the Top Ten!  Thanks for this
great list!

Don't know if you have gotten the following email, but I would
like to nominate the IDIOTS who created this vile blather for
your next Top Ten:


----- Original Message ----- 
From:  
To: Undisclosed-Recipient:; 
Sent: Friday, January 05, 2007 12:30 PM
Subject: From a friend in Denver


 
----- Original Message ----- 
From: gh


  WEATHER BULLETIN 
Up here, in the "Mile-Hi City" (Denver), we just 
recovered from a Historic event--- may I even say a
"Weather Event" of "Biblical  Proportions"
---with a historic blizzard of up to 44" inches of snow
and winds to 90 MPH that broke trees in half, knocked down
utility poles, stranded hundreds of motorists in lethal snow
banks, closed ALL roads, isolated scores of communities and
cut power to 10's of  thousands.
 
FYI:
 
   George Bush did not come.
   FEMA did nothing.
   No one howled for the government.
   No one blamed the government.
   No one even uttered an expletive on TV.
  Jesse Jackson or Al Sharpton did not visit.
  Our Mayor did not blame Bush or anyone else.
 
   Our Governor did not blame Bush or  anyone else, either.
 
   CNN, ABC, CBS, FOX or NBC did no TV visit- or report on
this category 5 Snowstorm.
 
   Nobody demanded $2,000 debit cards.
 
   No one asked for a FEMA Trailer House.
 
   No one looted.
 
   Nobody - I mean Nobody demanded the  government do
something.
 
   Nobody expected the government to do
  Anything, either.
 
   No Larry King, No Bill O'Rielly, No Oprah,
   No Chris Mathews and No Geraldo Rivera.
 
   No Shaun Penn, No Barbara Striesand, No  Hollywood types to
be found.
 
   Nope, we just melted the snow for water.
 
   Sent out caravans of SUV's to pluck people out of snow
engulfed cars.
 
   The truck drivers pulled people out of snow  banks and
didn't ask for a penny.
 
   Local restaurants made food and the police and fire
departments delivered it to the snowbound families.
 
   Families took in the stranded people - total strangers.
 
   We fired up wood stoves, broke out coal oil lanterns or
Coleman lanterns.
 
   We put on extra layers of clothes because up here it is
"Work or Die".
 
   We did not wait for some affirmative action government to
get us out of a mess created by being immobilized by a welfare
program that trades votes for 'sittin at home' checks.
 
   Even though a Category "5" blizzard of  this
scale has never fallen this early, we  know it can happen and
how to deal with it  ourselves.
 
   "In my many travels, I have noticed that once one gets
north of about 48 degrees North Latitude, 90% of the world's
social problems evaporate."
 
  It does seem that way, at least to me.
 
  I hope this gets passed on.
 
  Maybe SOME people will get the message. The world does Not
owe you a living.
 
 
 
 
 
 

[geardaddy]

48. I got a version of that e-mail.

Disgusting.

[Richard Steele]

41. Hey, is that a great big TYPO in number six?

In this paragraph:
And radio host Dennis Prager insisted that "America, not Virgil Goode, decides what book a congressman takes his oath on," writing that Ellison's decision to use a Koran during his swearing-in photo-op "undermines American civilization."

Shouldn't "Virgil Goode" be "Keith Ellison" in that first sentence?

[EarlG]

43. Yes, it is an enormous typo

I fixed it :)

[Richard Steele]

44. Glad to know it wasn't just my addled brain messin with me!

That one caught my eye, but I couldn't quite figure out WHY
until the third time I read it through.

[SydneyBristow]

42. great goodness!

Thanks EarlG this is great

the letter to abdul from osama was perfect

and the "clubbing baby seals to death with his huge black penis." made me rofl. im mean, christ thats funny!

thanks again!

:rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

Syd

[SeattleGirl]

46. ROFL!!! EarlG, you owe me (and probably other DUers) a new

keyboard! I was taking a drink of milk when I read the line in your piece regarding Obama, "and clubbing baby seals to death with his huge black penis," and damn near spit it all over my laptop! :rofl: :spray: :spray:

Fabulous list. Those repugs are a never-ending source of idiocy!

[mtnHov]

49. 1000 thanx alots

for shaking me out of the, after holiday blues.
Really liked how long it was, for the extended gratification.
Ooops... there goes a baby snow seal...gotta run

[colorado_ufo]

51. Let's hear it for the Minority!

Too, too funny! Every face tells a story - and a worry.

The Top Ten was fab!

[Mugsy]

52. Hey! You used my photo of Hastert! :)

Where's my "hat tip"? :)

[oasis]

54. Sour puss Denny Hastert would be the perfect salesman for "Preparation H".(eom)

[wjmj]

56. If God's talking to anyone, EarlG,

it's you. The awe of your wit against the shock of the maddness you reveal...well, Wow, you're an oasis, man, a sparkling refreshment good to the last drop.

My deepest thank you for reducing The Bewilderment to its deserved shame. I put only a few things aside, EarlG, to go back to, and you're one of them. DU, Truthout, and Newshounds have long enjoyed my prominent Firefox tabs; I go to them generally, but only to your T-10 C-Idiots do I go specifically; you and Nova and Frontline. You're part of my life, EarlG, you know, dude?

Hey, we were snowbound for five days in 25" of Alabama snow in '93, nobody came our way either, but no one wrote a hurray-for-us list; we just helped the powerline people best we could so's we could all get hot baths and into Piedmont for some groceries. Seems a hurricane came in that same year, or was it the year before? Flattened a church, killed some folk. It went around Frog Mountain in front of our perch overlooking it then on to kill more on the otherside of it. Took in a war when I was younger, Marine Corps, '69.

I stay away from politics, in general, seeing most of it as bunk-riddled. But the impact politcal stuff--having the impact of one of its wars in my head--well, that stuff, EarlG, the serious shit, you fit into the rawest comedy, elequently reducing it to its enormity. Till you, EarlG, this shit ate away at my craw, tampering with my spirit, for godsakes.

Till your coming into my mind, son, I ain't ever made no sense of it. I'm still waiting for the whole shithouse to go up in flames. When it does, please, EarlG, do the play by play, please. You're ready for it man, you're the best damn color man in the game. OK, so I ain't funny. But you damn sure are.

[Erechtheides]

57. regarding #5

But consider this: if there is a massive terrorist attack on the United States in 2007, then that will prove without doubt that God really exists and Pat is his one true prophet.

I think it will prove that Pat Robertson is a terrorist mastermind. It's a much more reasonable explanation.

[ProudDad]

58. I LOVE that picture!!!

I recognize Hastert -- thank goodness I don't recognize anyone else...