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Sometimes when I find myself board or unable to think of anything to write about I’ll go to the Ann Coulter website. I know it’s stupid, like picking at a scab you know you shouldn’t and that no good will come of it. I try to justify it to myself as opposition research but it in all honesty it’s a prurient interest like reading The National Enquirer you don’t believe that Bill Clinton has an space alien love child but you want to see the picture. Because of all the conservative pundits she’s the easiest to derail if she ever had all her wheels on the track to begin with.
Rush spins fantasaies of sophist reasoning’s tying two or more erroneous assumptions into an obtuse scenario, O’riley is a word a terrorist, he will go along with what appears a normal prognostication and then throw an inflammatory backpack bomb into the conversation. But Ann is like arguing with a drunk in a bar no grandiose scenarios, no sophist reasoning’s just false accusations revisionist history and lies. Ann either needs a dictionary or thinks we do.
This week little Anorexic Annie begins, “The passing of Gerald Ford should remind Americans that Democrats are always lying in wait, ready to force a humiliating defeat on America.” Bartender! Understand? According to Ann Democrats forced Nixon to break into Democratic national headquarters, pray tell mind control perhaps?
Please Ann continue, Bartender! Another round, “Democrats want to cut and run as fast as possible from Iraq, betraying the Iraqis who supported us and rewarding our enemies — exactly as they did to the South Vietnamese under Ford.”
“Betraying the Iraqis that supported us?” I thought we were supporting them? You know we stand down when they stand up and speaking of which are you going to be able to? But Ann wasn’t it Nixon and Kissinger that negotiated the Paris Peace accords?
“Liberals spent the Vietnam War rooting for the enemy Ann says, and clamoring for America's defeat, a tradition they have brought back for the Iraq war. They insisted on calling the Soviet-backed Vietcong "the National Liberation Front of Vietnam," just as they call Islamic fascists killing Americans in Iraq "insurgents."”
Ann I’m a Liberal and I knew lots of liberals during the Vietnam War and since when is wanting a war to end rooting for the enemy? And what difference would it make if I called them Big Brother Ho and the Holding Company what’s that got to do with the price of tea in China? Ann just for reference “insurgent” as Webster tells us is, a person who revolts against civil authority or an established government. How do the Iraqis insurgents not qualify? Bartender nother round!
Ann continues, “In 1969, Nixon became President and the world was safe again.
Nixon began a phased withdrawal of American ground troops, while protecting the South Vietnamese by increasing the bombings of the North, mining North Vietnamese harbors and attacking North Vietnamese military supplies in Cambodia”
No, now don’t get mad at me Ann I’m not laughing at you it’s just that Nixon making the world safer remark that makes me chuckle. So your saying it was Nixon’s phased withdrawal that was going to win the war? That the five hundred thousand troops we had in country at the time were an obstacle to victory? Damn, that Dick Nixon was a genius!
“Despite the massive anti-war protests staged by the Worst Generation, Nixon's Vietnam policy was apparently popular with normal Americans. In 1972, he won re-election against "peace" candidate George McGovern in a 49-state landslide.”
Gee Ann it seems you’ve forgotten a few details maybe you’ve had enough? Nixon ran on a campaign promise of getting us out of Vietnam and then there was the little matter of break-ins plumbers and enemy’s lists or was that all part of Dick’s victory by leaving plan?
“In January 1973,as Ann continues the United States signed the Paris Peace accords, which would have ended the war with honor. In order to achieve a ceasefire, Nixon jammed lousy terms down South Vietnam's throat, such as allowing Vietcong troops to remain in the South. But in return, we promised South Vietnam that we would resume bombing missions and provide military aid if the North attacked.”
Ann look at me, how many of me do you see? I thought you liked Nixon you’ve just praised him and denounced him in the same paragraph. Which is it? Was the treaty bad or good? And why did the South Vietnamese sign I’m sure in that whole big country there had to be at least on person as smart as you.
“It would have worked, but the Democrats were desperate for America to lose. They invented "Watergate," the corpus delicti of which wouldn't have merited three column-inches during the Clinton years, and hounded Nixon out of office.”
Bartender cut her off! Nixon negotiates a treaty Kissinger wins the Nobel peace prize for it and the Democrats were desperate to lose and invented Watergate? Invented,
to think up, to create or produce for the first time (Webster). Are you saying it didn’t happen Ann? And is it your contention that a blowjob is a more serious crime than a break in? Well that ruins my future plans for tonight.
“Even milquetoast, pro-abortion, detente-loving Gerald R. Ford knew America had to defend South Vietnam”
You don’t have too many friends do you Ann?
“As Ford said, "American unwillingness to provide adequate assistance to allies fighting for their lives could seriously affect our credibility throughout the world as an ally." He pleaded repeatedly with the Democratic Congress simply to authorize aid to South Vietnam — no troops, just money.”
“But the Democrats turned their backs on South Vietnam, betrayed an ally and trashed America's word. Within a month of Ford's last appeal to Congress to help South Vietnam, Saigon fell.”
But Ann the terms of the treaty said we would resume bombing in the case of North Vietnamese aggression, alright, alright, "the National Liberation Front of Vietnam,"
This was a solemn treaty ratified by Congress Gerald Ford needed no authorization to resume the bombing. You know what I think Ann,I think he came around to agree with Jack Kennedy, In October 1963 Kennedy said, “In the final analyses it is going to be up to the Vietnamese to win or lose the war.” I know you don’t want to hear that so let me say it again in a more palatable way In October 1963 Ronald Reagan said, “In the final analyses it is going to be up to the Vietnamese to win or lose the war.”
Ann or someone very much like her can be heard on many of your local bars stools and taverns across America. Or you could buy a National Enquirer and find out the truth about Bill Clinton’s space alien love child either way it’s still just pure fantasy.
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