"Wang Dang, He Ducked Danang" - Jesus' General writes to Ted Nugent

[swag]

http://patriotboy.blogspot.com/2007_01_21_patriotboy_archive.html#116943740176861849

Dear Mr. Nugent,

The last few months have been a nightmare for conservative Americans. First, the Demislamunistofascists take control of Congress, prompting some of our least loyal congressional stars to begin singing hosanas in praise of such treasonous acts as minimum wage hikes and premature iraqejection. Then, Our Leader repudiates his Article II powers which allow him to invade our privacy without warrants. And now, even those who've shared Our Leader's special providence sour in their support for the Iraq phase of Our Eternal War to Resubjugate Brown People.

In the midst of all this treachery, you continue to stand firm in your conservative convictions. While Sam Brownback hemmed and hawed about whether homosexuals should be allowed to adopt children, you stood on a stage at Texas Gov. Rick Perry's inaugural ball, wearing the beloved colors of our confederate heritage, waving an assault rifle, and shouting insults at anyone who dared to speak Mexican.

You did it because that's who you are, a man who will not, and indeed, cannot, abandon his conservative values. You are a perfect specimen of conservative manhood.

You've always been that way. As the Detroit Free Press Magazine reported in 1990, you were already serving as an exemplar of Republican values back in the Sixties, when, like Our Leader, Deputy Leader Cheney, and Minister of Truth Limbaugh, you courageously dodged service in Vietnam

. . . more

[texastoast]

1. What a hateful, tiresome, ridiculous little man

With no talent.

[swag]

2. Agreed. He hit his peak with the autobiographical "Cat Crotch Wiener."

[texastoast]

5. Gotta clean the monitor now

:spray:

[Blue_In_AK]

3. I really hate this guy...

He comes up here and defiles our beautiful state much, much too often.

[sharp_stick]

4. That was brilliant

thanks for posting it.

[tanyev]

6. I wonder if that photo is from the Texas GOP appearance,

or does Ted frequently wear that kind of get-up on stage? I realize that the Operation Yellow Elephant background is probably not from the TX GOP date.

[TlalocW]

7. When he came to Tulsa a few years ago

I went and stood in a looooong line at one of the Borders where he was signing his book. I bought a copy for my brother-in-law, who's pretty conservative and a bow-hunter. More on him in a minute. My then-girlfriend went with me. Oh, I should mention that she's Colombian, so we spoke in Spanish a lot to see if we could piss anyone off. The guy in front of me was in his forties and had no upper front teeth, was wearing a really dirty, "Damn Yankees," t-shirt and a Redman baseball cap. When it was my turn to meet the Nuge, I stuck my tongue out at him when my girlfriend took a picture of us. He handed the book to me and told me, "Enjoy. There's a lot of wisdom in there." I literally hurt myself from not laughing. We left and went to get something to eat while enjoying Ted's pearls of wisdom about how you have to live life to the fullest because if you're not living life, you have no life, etc. (There was something in his book along those lines).

The book was the one that was co-authored with his wife where she supplied a bunch of recipes for the various things that you could kill to be just like Ted.

I gave it to my brother-in-law who was genuinely touched. I saw him a month later and asked him how he liked that book, and he said, "Jamie (still calls me that because I was 10 or 11 when he and my sister got married)... I read the book and liked the recipes, but I thought it was some sort of comedy book which I wasn't getting until I saw him on a hunting show on ESPN, and it just turns out he's a damn moron." My equally conservative sister chimed in, "He's all talk and no walk." It was funny because they didn't know anything about Ted because they listen to country music just about all the time.

TlalocW