Women see less need for ol' ball and chain

[rodeodance]

And the RW is having a cow.


Women see less need for ol' ball and chain
- C.W. Nevius
Sunday, January 28, 2007

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Are husbands becoming obsolete? You have to wonder. A recent New York Times study, based on 2005 census results, found that for the first time in American history there are more women living without husbands (51 percent) than with them.

To which many men must reply: Uh-oh. After all, how many times did they tell us to put down the toilet seat and pick up our socks? Could it be that a hubby is -- like the big, smelly dog that keeps chewing up shoes -- turning out to be more trouble than he's worth?

"We are definitely looking to have a fulfilling relationship,'' says 35-year-old Gia Colosi, an Intel executive and president of the San Francisco Spinsters, a philanthropic and social club of about 175 college-educated single women. "But at the same time, if it didn't happen it wouldn't be the end of the world."

In case you haven't noticed, that's becoming a prevailing view. Stephanie Coontz, author of the award-winning "Marriage, A History,'' has said, "There is no going back to a world where ... marriage is the institution that organizes people's lives." ......

[MountainLaurel]

1. No link to full story

Please add.

[MADem]

2. Here's a link, I was just reading this!!!

Funny, years ago, single mothers would always BS and say they were divorced or widowed, now, they just don't bother to get married if they don't want to. Hey, life is too short to be miserable, I reckon...

http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?file=/c/a/2007/01/28/MNG1UNQDO41.DTL

....So why aren't there an equal number of men living without wives? Only 46.6 percent of men do. The reasons: Men don't live as long as women, and widowed women are more likely not to remarry and live happily alone.

So it was no coincidence when a 2006 study by the National Association of Realtors found that 22 percent of home-buyers were single women. Not only is that an all-time high -- single men were at 9 percent, by the way -- unmarried women also purchase 40 percent of condominiums.

"It's a different generation,'' says San Mateo's Lorri Lee Lown, the founder of Velo Girls, a women's cycling club. "My mother couldn't have bought a house by herself. But I can.''

Erika Lodge, a 25-year-old investment banker and member of the Spinsters, says: "The financial freedom is the biggest component in this. Everyone has definitely noticed that things are changing with women in general.''

And what do the single men think of this? Well, as politically correct males in the 21st century, they know what they are expected to say. ......

[MountainLaurel]

4. Thanks!

Very interesting stuff. At one point in my life not long ago, I was planning for permanent singleness. I had told myself that I could be a mother or a wife, but not both, and the former was more likely at that point in time. And I was perfectly OK with that. However, Mr. Laurel came into my life and screwed up my plans all to hell.

[angstlessk]

22. I recall a study that said the happiest people were 1-single women and 2-

married men. The old adage she ran from him till she caught him are just FALSE!

[Warpy]

3. Well, what did men expect?

We did the work in the 60s and 70s, raising our collective consciousness, identifying problems, and then getting elected so we could get the worst of them addressed.

Then we new women went home to face the same old helpless men, demanding to know when supper was going to be fed to them, whining about the lack of clean shirts, complaining that the house wasn't the way Mom kept it, ad nauseum.

I've been happily divorced for 20 years. My Prince Charming may still be out there, but he's gonna have to get off that recliner he's been sprawled on in his underwear and heave his bulk out to the kitchen to get his own damned beer.

I'm RETIRED.

[MountainLaurel]

5. You have a point there

Currently I'm listening to Maureen Dowd's book "Are Men Necessary?" on CD, and it makes a great companion to this article.

[MADem]

6. Retired, eh? So, if anything, you aren't necessarily looking for Mr. Right, but you might not mind

an enticing Mister Right Now?

[Karenina]

7. Honey, where is my _________?

I have nothing to do with your ___. I don't use it, haven't touched or seen it and frankly don't give a shit. What did YOU do with it? I AM NOT A HUMAN GPS DEVICE!! Now dear, when was the last time you remember having it in your hand?

When I refused to IMMEDIATELY DROP ANYYTHING I WAS DOING to aid my ex in locating something he misplaced, he would tear though the house, dumping drawers, ripping through cabinets until I joined in the search. My choices were to drop everything or clean up a HUGE MESS.

[Porcupine]

11. I was a guy who cooked, cleaned, did laundry....

built trellises, kept the garden up. Wife divorced me when I got health problems making me temporarily unable to work. Not macho enough.

You can't win as a guy. Of course those single guys fixing things are going to squeeze you little old ladies for every nickel they can. Better learn how to fix your own plumbing.

[Warpy]

15. Face it, saints are a tiny, tiny minority

[Porcupine]

21. But they always have an invite to the Bar-b-que. nt.

.

[Demeter]

8. I'm NOT Happily Single, But Staying Married to a Psychopath Was a Losing Move

(psst Laura==this is a clue!)

I made sure to avoid the smoker, drunk, druggie, employment impaired and mentally challenged, and ended up with my own little Bushler.

Somewhere there must be a happy medium? A sane, intelligent, ethical and emotionally available man? Who might like a woman for a life partner?

Note to self: check if men and women are same species....

[mwb970]

14. Quote from Bill Cosby

"Men and women belong to different species, and communication between them is a science still in its infancy."

[katty]

20. after early divorce and 3 ended engagements, I finally

'literally' ran into an intelligent, fun, sexy, capable guy I had met years ago (when we both we still married to other people). He wanted to start dating right away, but willing to take it slow-we did, and a few years later we decided we wanted to get married-and just continue what had already been happening. I would say it was a turn of good karma for us both-so far, so good.

[Withywindle]

9. Katharine Hepburn said...

"Women and men shouldn't live together. They should live nearby and visit often."

[katty]

19. Agree-separate wings of the house (whenever possible)

[Vidar]

10. Considering the pain, cost & probability of divorce, along with

the relative disappearance of health insurance, marriage is losing proposition for both sexes at this point. That said, I applaud those who have made it work.

[Berry Cool]

12. The science of the NYT article's original finding has been questioned.

I read somewhere that they counted all females over 15 in the census who were not married as "single women."

You'll also notice that they never interview, or talk about, any kind of single woman in the article other than well-to-do single-by-choice women in Manhattan. Nothing in there about single women who don't want to be single. Nothing about poor women raising children alone. They make the whole supposed (and doubtful) "single women trend" sound like every single woman in the world is living a life straight out of Sex and the City, only with better dates.

[qwlauren35]

13. THANK YOU!!!!!!!!!!

I am not at all convinced that the majority of women WANT to be single. However, I think "single" is being somewhat redefined, and I think marriage is in the process of being redefined as well.

Clearly, it's better to be unmarried than to live with a nutcase, if those are your only options. But I think there are many, many women who would like to have a partner in child-rearing.

I'm married, and most of my girlfriends eventually married, and it was something that we wanted very much, we just wanted to be sure that we would be loved, so we waited until a loving man came along.

One of the things that the article also doesn't talk about is that it takes two to tango. There are a large number of men who either don't want to marry at all... or don't want to marry the majority of today's "eligible" women.

www.eHarmony.com couldn't exist if no one wanted long-term relationships. I'm not saying that there aren't people on these sites looking for "other" types of relationships. But I'd say that most of the women are looking for marriage, as are a respectable number of the men.

[Lydia Leftcoast]

16. I think a lot of men are looking for women who don't exist and vice versa

I get the distinct impression that a lot of middle-aged men are looking for housekeeper with benefits, and they're puzzled about why they can't find one when, hey, they have a house and car and make enough money to support a housekeeper.

Meanwhile, the middle-aged women that I talk to don't need to be supported financially, think of housework as a necessary evil rather than a profession, and are looking for a man who could be a true companion in life.

[yellowcanine]

17. Well the truth is, both men and women should be able to live on their own - but that does not mean

one prefers it that way. There are a few people who choose to be single, but not that many, men or women. But the truth is, if you are single and your life is screwed up, getting married won't help and it may make it worse.

[katty]

18. younger men are going after older, stable women w/a job

this is what some of my girlfriends are experiencing...it's weird because all you see on the youtube and idol are really perfect, young, body by chrysler girls (generally, in the real world, with no job or prospects)that are almost naked. I'm not looking but my gal pals tell me that younger men are practically chasing them to hookup and yes, get married. It is very strange for them-but fun!