"Conservatives Doth Protest Too Much" by Jules Carlylse

[Dammit Ann]

Hilarious way to start the day...


"I wanted to cover Rush Limbaugh and the scourge of drug addiction and Bill O’Reilly vs....well basically everything that remotely resembles truth, girls or a fair fight. But, there is only so much space and time.. and if I “beat the dead horse”...even metaphorically...next thing we know, I’ll be accused of hating horses....and having sex with horses.....and having forcible phone sex with a myriad of other barnyard animals....and Osama bin Laden....and everyone at the New York Times....

Why, you ask? Because I’m a freaky, f**ked up Liberal bent on global domination through hate speech and weird sex.

Remember, what you hate is a reflection on you. Love and hate are pretty close to the same damn thing, raw, visceral emotions that stir in our very core. Their opposite is apathy.

Republicans, the only thing clenched more tightly than their assholes and their wallets are their puckered little minds....Time to wonder why they are so consumed with rage about things they imagine other people might be doing behind closed doors and why, oh why, they insist on imagining things that are so perverted."


More at link:

http://www.julescarlysle.com/ConservativesDothProtest.html

[ellenfl]

1. kick for later eom

[DavidDvorkin]

2. "Doth" is singular

So it should be "Conservatives do protest too much."

Dumb errors like that are distracting, and journalists shouldn't make them.

[JuliaA2005]

3. I'm no journalist

and I wanted to maintain the shakespearean reference....The lady doth protest...from Hamlet? It's artistic license. If I made it grammatically correct, I lose that. It's why I put the Hamlet quote under the title as a tag line. People understand that, there have not been any complaints until now.

[DavidDvorkin]

4. I understand the reasoning, but it's still wrong

It's the same reasoning behind an ad I saw years ago: "Your cup will runneth over!"

I think the reference would have been clear.

[ninkasi]

6. I think your use of "doth" is fine

I won't pretend to know what other word is correct, but since I'm not fluent in Shakespearean grammar, you made your point. That is, after all, one of the main requirements for me as a reader, understanding a piece that the author writes.

FYI, Jules, you have a very good friend here at DU. I think that anybody who inspires a friendship like that is a person well worth reading, and knowing. :hi:

[ninkasi]

5. Good article

The author has a valid point, and one I've wondered about...WHY do many conservatives spend so much time obsessing about what kind of sex other people have? I mean, my husband and I have both heterosexual, and gay friends, and I don't want to imagine what any of them do in the privacy of their homes.

For one thing, as long as it's consensual, and both parties enjoy it, it's absolutely none of my business. For another, the same people who get all wild-eyed about gay sex are themselves indulging in adultery, lying, and sometimes, even, paying for gay sex themselves. Since the self righteous ones won't admit to any homosexual fantasies, they have loyal (usually) wives, and find absolution in Jesus.

I'm more interested in solving the problems of war, poverty, education, health, and a number of other things, than worrying about what consenting adults do. I think they waste a lot of time and money on being voyeurs, and trying to dictate morality to the rest of us.

The rage that conservatives feel is really frustration and rage against themselves. They are self-loathing, but can't admit it, so lash out at targets they consider "safe."

[Skittles]

7. YES

I greatly embarrassed a conservative coworker - he asked me, "Don't you think what homosexuals do it disgusting?" to which I responded, "Honestly, I don't think that it that much - but it sure seems like you do." :7

[DavidMS]

8. Can I barrow that?

It sounds like the perfect response.

[Skittles]

9. oh heck yes

you need to see how red they turn!!! :hi: