Posted on: Sunday, April 1, 2007
COMMENTARY
Wandering out of the White House into oblivion By Garrison Keillor
The Current Occupant decided to go for a walk one fine spring morning, and he strolled down the White House drive to the main gate and chatted with the cops in the guardhouse and then strolled down Pennsylvania Avenue and through Lafayette Park to Christ Church and turned and looked at the White House through the trees and then it dawned on him that he was alone, no Secret Service in their dark suits and their earpieces with the curly wires. Nobody had tried to stop him from leaving. They just let him wander away.
A couple of kids in Capitals jackets walked past, and then a cop, and an old couple, and nobody stopped — they glanced his way and nodded and moved on. He thought, "It's true what Laura says. I'm different in person than the way the media portrays me." Some folks sat in lawn chairs holding signs, GET OUT OF IRAQ and STOP THE TORTURE and so forth. He walked in among them to get a closer look and said to the GET OUT OF IRAQ man, "What would you say to the president if you could talk to him up close and personal?"
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His approval ratings were down to a faithful remnant who believed that he was God's chosen president as prophesied in Nehemiah, the one whose reign is the beginning of the Tribulation. And he had seen new polling data showing an 85 percent correlation between his 2004 voters and the more than half of all Americans who cannot say how long it takes the Earth to make one orbit around the sun. They had voted for the man they thought didn't know either. And that's how he would go down in history: the slacker, the dummy
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