Maybe it’s Jelly But it Feels Like Jam
By David Glenn Cox
http://theservantsofpilate.comWho could ever forget Chevy Chase in his role as Clark W. Griswold in National Lampoon classic, “Christmas Vacation.” Clark works his fingers to the bone all year for a boss that barely knows that he’s alive waiting for his annual Christmas bonus. With a house full of relatives Clark waits anxiously for the bonus check and when the messenger arrives Clark opens the envelope only to find out that his boss has enrolled him in the jelly of the month club.
Is it art imitating life or life imitating art? Google this year has decided to forego the $1,000 cash bonus that employee’s usually receive. This year instead of cash they’ll be getting a nice G1 Android mobile phone ($179.00 retail)
“The current economic crisis requires us to be more conservative about how we spend our money,” Mountain View, California-based Google said in an internal memo that was posted on technology industry blog Valleywag.
The memo lists 17 countries where the phone won’t work, including Brazil, Russia, India and China. Employees in those countries will receive about $400, the cash value of the phone, Google said in the memo.”
Google posted third quarter net profits of 1.35 Billion dollars and according to CEO Eric Schmidt, “Thanks to everyone’s hard work we’ve had a good year.”
Merry Christmas, here’s a phone!
“In order to further streamline the company expenditure was being kept low, with an 18 per cent cut this quarter, with the bulk of spending going on modernizing data centers. The company employed just 500 more staff this quarter predominantly engineers, bringing headcount up to 20,123 full-time employees.
“We’re managing costs very closely,” said Schmidt.”
I don’t know, maybe it’s me but I’d wager in a high tech environment like Google I’d bet that they’ve all ready got phones and if they’re good employees they’ve got Google phones. Maybe they can trade them for jelly of the month memberships and to Mr. Schmidt, I’d be out of town for Christmas if I were you and for God sakes don’t answer the door if the guy looks like Randy Quaid!
“Where do you think you're going? Nobody's leaving. Nobody's walking out on this fun, old-fashioned family Christmas. No, no. We're all in this together. This is a full-blown, four-alarm holiday emergency here. We're gonna press on, and we're gonna have the hap, hap, happiest Christmas since Bing Crosby tap-danced with Danny fucking Kaye. And when Santa squeezes his fat white ass down that chimney tonight, he's gonna find the jolliest bunch of assholes this side of the nuthouse.” (Clark Griswold)
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