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And I'm sure this is not in any way a complete and comprehensive list. Here ya go:
"I'm the master of low expectations" - Aboard Air Force One, 2003
"I was raised in the West. The West of Texas. It's close to California. In more ways than Washington, DC is close to California" - as quoted in the Los Angeles Times, 2000
"I understand small business growth. I was one." - New York Daily News 2000
"I've coined new words like misunderstanding and Hispanically." - Radio Television Correspondents Association Dinner 2001
"I want everybody to hear loud and clear that I'm going to be the president of everybody." - Washington, DC 2001
"I think if you know what you believe, it makes it a lot easier to answer questions. I can't answer your question." - In response to a question about whether he should take back any of his answers from his first Al Gore debate, 2000 (so, perhaps Santa Claus and the Easter Bunny DO exist!!)
"I know what I believe. I will continue to articulate what I believe and what I believe - I believe what I believe is right." - Rome, 2001 (which explains his head up his ass!!)
"The important question is, how many hands have I shaked?" - In response to why he didn't spend more time in New Hampshire 1999
"This is Preservation Month. I appreciate preservation. It's what you do when you run for President. You gotta preserve." - Speaking at Fairgrounds Elementary School, during Perseverance Month 2000
"Governor, thank you very much. I am here to make an announcement that this Thursday, ticket counters and airplanes will fly out of Ronald Reagan Airport." - Arlington, VA 2001
"Brie and cheese" - To reporters on what Bush imagines reporters eat – 2001
"Oftentimes, we live in a processed world - you know, people focus on the process and not the results." - Washington DC 2003 (is this like processed cheese??)
"In my judgment, when the United States says there will be serious consequences, and if there isn't serious consequences, it creates adverse consequences." - Meet The Press 2004 (consequently, this is very serious)
"We don't believe in planners and deciders making the decisions on behalf of Americans." - Scranton PA 2000 (it should be the janitor)
"If you don't stand for anything, you don't stand for anything. If you don't stand for something, you don't stand for anything." - Bellevue, WA 2000 (may I sit now?)
"Actually, I - this may sound a little West Texas to you, but I like it. When I'm talking about - when I'm talking about myself, and when he's talking about myself, all of us are talking about Me." - Hardball 2000 (I knew that!!)
"Reading is the basics for all learning." - Announcing his "Reading First" Initiative in Reston, VA 2000 (but what is the definition of "is"?)
"One of the great things about books is sometimes there are some fantastic pictures." - US News and World Report, 2000 (but if you ain't learning nothing.....)
"You teach a child to read, and he or her will be to pass a literacy test." - Townsend TN 2001 (this is so self explanatory)
"It's your money. You paid for it." - La Crosse WI 2000 (can I get a refund??)
"Arborist...Look up the word. I don't know, maybe I made it up. Anyway, it's an arbo-tree-ist, somebody who knows about trees." - as quoted in US Today 2001 (and someone who knows about speaking out of their ass is a proctologist?)
"This foreign policy stuff is a little frustrating." - As quoted in the New York Daily News 2002 (and following this logic isn't????)
"First, we would not accept a treaty that would not have been ratified, not a treaty that I thought made sense for the country." - On the Kyoto Accord/Washington Post 2001 (at last Dubya defines his plan for the country)
"The war on terror involves Saddam Hussein because of the nature of Saddam Hussein, the history of Saddam Hussein and his willingness to terrorize himself." - Grand Rapids, MI 2002 (With Dubya in the White House, I'm feeling slightly terrorized myself!!)
"If I'm the president, we're going to have emergency-room care, we're going to have gag orders." - Saint Louis, MO 2000 (don’t know about you, but I'm following the gag orders)
"He married like me, above his head." - On US Ambassador Paul Celluci 2001 (alrighty then!!)
"Bill wrote a book at Yale. I read one." - On William F. Buckley, Al Smith dinner, NYC 2000 (apparently, it wasn't the same book)
"People say, how I can help on this war against terrorism? How can I fight evil? You can do something by mentoring a child, by going into a shut-in's house and say I love you." - Washington, DC 2002 (because God knows, those evil juvenile house bound folks would get past their terroristic ways if they just felt loved!!)
"I know how hard it is for you to put food on your family." - Chamber of Commerce, NE 2000 (I just wonder if it's still edible??)
"I want each and every American to know for certain that I'm responsible for the decisions I make and each of you are, as well." - Live with Regis 2000 (times like this I'm glad I'm not a very responsible person)
"There may be some tough times here in America. But this country has gone through tough times before, and we're going to do it again." - Waco, TX 2002 (ah......the silver lining!)
"It's very interesting, when you think about it, the slaves who left here to go to America, because of their steadfast, and their religion and their belief in freedom, helped change America." - Dakar, Senegal 2003
"They misunderestimated me." - Bentonville, AR 2000
If we don't succeed, we run the risk of failure."
...George W. Bush
“Thank you for taking time out of your day to witness my hanging” – Austin, TX 2002, at the dedication of his gubernatorial portrait at the Texas State Capitol
“Who could have possibly envisioned an erection – an election in Iraq at this point in history??” 2005
“Rarely is the question asked: Is our children learning?” 2000
“You work three jobs?…Uniquely American, isn’t it?? I mean, that is fantastic that you’re doing that!!” Speaking to a mother of 3 from Omaha, NE, 2005
“Concerning the Bob Jones policy of interracial dating, I spoke against that. I spoke out against interracial dating. I support their policy of interracial dating” On CBS News in 2000, concerning the ban on interracial dating at Bob Jones University, a fundamentalist Christian college.
“Sometimes when I sleep at night, I think of Dr. Seuss’ “Hop On Pop” Speaking about childhood education, 2002
“ I would like all Americans to volunteer for 4,000 years of community service” Bridgeport CT, 2002
“Laura and I don’t realize how bright our children is sometimes until we get an objective analysis” On “Meet the Press” 2000
“First, we would not accept a treaty that would not have been ratified, nor a treaty that I thought made sense for the country” Quoted in the “Washington Post” concerning the Kyoto Accords, an international treaty aimed at reducing greenhouse emissions. The US rejected the treaty.
“For every fatal shooting, there were roughly three non-fatal shootings. And folks, this is unacceptable in America. And we’re going to do something about that” Speaking about Project Safe Neighborhoods, 2001 (Right on!! All shootings should be fatal!!)
“There’s no question that the minute I got elected, the storm clouds were getting nearly directly overhead” Washington D.C., 2001
“It’s amazing I won the election. I was running against peace, prosperity and incumbency” During a meeting with the Swedish Prime Minister, 2001
"Karyn is with us. A West Texas girl, just like me."—May 27, 2004
"I'm honored to shake the hand of a brave Iraqi citizen who had his hand cut off by Saddam Hussein."—May 25, 2004
Bush Quotes as Governor of Texas, (Why Couldn’t Anyone See He Was an Idiot Even Back Then??)
"Republicans understand the importance of bondage between a mother and child."
...Governor George W. Bush
"Welcome to Mrs. Bush, and my fellow astronauts."
...Governor George W. Bush
"Mars is essentially in the same orbit...Mars is somewhat the same distance from the Sun, which is very important. We have seen pictures where there are canals, we believe, and water. If there is water, that means there is oxygen. If oxygen, that means we can breathe."
...Governor George W. Bush, 8/11/94
"The Holocaust was an obscene period in our nation's history. I mean in this century's history. But we all lived in this century. I didn't live in this century."
...Governor George W. Bush, 9/15/95
"I believe we are on an irreversible trend toward more freedom and democracy -- but that could change."
...Governor George W. Bush, 5/22/98
"One word sums up probably the responsibility of any Governor, and that one word is 'to be prepared'."
...Governor George W. Bush, 12/6/93
"Verbosity leads to unclear, inarticulate things."
...Governor George W. Bush, 11/30/96
"I have made good judgments in the past. I have made good judgments in the future."
...Governor George W. Bush
"The future will be better tomorrow."
...Governor George W. Bush
"We're going to have the best educated American people in the world." (We’re the ONLY American people in the world, you idiot!!)
...Governor George W. Bush 9/21/97
"People that are really very weird can get into sensitive positions and have a tremendous impact on history."
...Governor George W. Bush
"I stand by all the misstatements that I've made."
...Governor George W. Bush to Sam Donaldson, 8/17/93
"We have a firm commitment to NATO, we are a part of NATO. We have a firm commitment to Europe. We are a part of Europe."
...Governor George W. Bush
"Public speaking is very easy."
...Governor George W. Bush to reporters
"I am not part of the problem. I am a Republican."
...Governor George W. Bush
"A low voter turnout is an indication of fewer people going to the polls."
...Governor George W. Bush
"When I have been asked who caused the riots and the killing in LA, my answer has been direct & simple: Who is to blame for the riots? The rioters are to blame. Who is to blame for the killings? The killers are to blame."
...George W. Bush
"Illegitimacy is something we should talk about in terms of not having it."
...Governor George W. Bush 5/20/96
"We are ready for any unforeseen event that may or may not occur."
...Governor George W. Bush 9/22/97
"For NASA, space is still a high priority."
...Governor George W. Bush, 9/5/93
"Quite frankly, teachers are the only profession that teach our children."
...Governor George W. Bush, 9/18/95
"The American people would not want to know of any misquotes that George Bush may or may not make."
...Governor George W. Bush
"We're all capable of mistakes, but I do not care to enlighten you on the mistakes we may or may not have made."
...Governor George W. Bush
"It isn't pollution that's harming the environment. It's the impurities in our air and water that are doing it." (Duh, same thing??)
...Governor George W. Bush
" time for the human race to enter the solar system." (So Earth isn’t in the solar system??)
...Governor George W. Bush
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