'We Are Trained to Kill, so Civilian Life Is Tough'
In a remarkable and brave interview, Johnson Beharry reveals the daily torment he faces after fighting for his country – and explains why he is still fighting for his Army comrades
by Terri Judd
Two young men stood nose to nose on a south London street a few months ago, in a furious argument over a minor car accident so heated it had to be broken up by police.
Lance Corporal Johnson Beharry: 'If I fall asleep, I relive all the battles. I start sweating' (Teri Pengilley)
The scene would have been utterly common place, banal even, had one of the young men involved not been the country's greatest living war hero - Victoria Cross recipient Lance Corporal Johnson Beharry.
"I actually wanted to kill the person. The police had to come," explained the 29-year-old, who is one of only 10 living VC holders. "It was not about the car, it was not about the accident. I have been told that because of what happened to me {in Iraq} all my body can remember is defence. Any time something happens I go into a defence mode."
Cpl Beharry's gentle face is now familiar across the country. He is the quiet, solemn figure who stood behind 110-year-old veteran Harry Patch on Armistice Day. Since becoming the first living recipient of a VC for 40 years for "repeated extreme gallantry and unquestioned valour", the young Grenadian has been portrayed, somewhat patronisingly, as a humble, almost docile Caribbean soldier.
Cpl Beharry is a confident, self-possessed, yet modest, man, driven to make something of his life and help others. But he is also a soldier tortured by mental and physical wounds, who has had to learn to live with constant pain, nightmares, mood swings and unexplained rages. He has decided to speak out for the first time on behalf of the thousands of servicemen and women suffering in the UK, who are forced to turn to charities for help because the Government is failing them.
The soldier cannot remember the last time he had a good night's sleep. Almost five years after he saved the lives of 30 comrades in Iraq by driving through a series of ambushes - his head sticking out of the burning Warrior armoured vehicle "despite a harrowing weight of incoming fire" - he can get no rest.
"If I fall asleep, I relive all the contacts {battles}. I start sweating. Even thinking about it now I am beginning to sweat," he explained. "Kosovo, Northern Ireland, Iraq, training - it all blends into one. One minute, I will be in Iraq on top of a building and the next thing I am in Grenada with my friends during the same contact. I have been told I kick in my sleep and worse. I used to get a couple of hours a night but recently, I can't sleep again. I lie there at night, tossing and turning. I put on the TV. I try to read to get tired but I can't. You think the next night you are so tired you will sleep but you don't."
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http://www.commondreams.org/headline/2009/02/28-2