Stray Cats

[Daveparts]

Stray Cats
By David Glenn Cox



I watch the sun go down reluctantly. This world offers little, and I have little to offer in return. I have lost everything, so as the birds sing at daylight's demise, I hear no music. The world has lost its music for me; it is just an endless grind with a police siren in the distance.

I went to Wal-Mart. God, I hate Wal-Mart, but I needed dish soap and hand soap, and well, beer. Some days are harder than others and this one was a difficult one. I live on hope, vain hope, that maybe I can reach some of you. I know I’m reaching some of you because you tell me I am. God bless you all.

I also bought cat food for forty-four cents a can to feed the stray kittens outside my door. My heart goes out to them because they are alone in this world and no one gives a phuck about them. They are siblings and I named them Moxie and Blackie. I watched as they ate their fill, then just for a moment they began to play on my door mat and it reduced me to tears. For just a moment they could forget their situation and play like kittens. Then a full-grown stray showed up and they remembered their place in this life and retreated under a car. They are the unloved and unwanted, burdensome minutia striving for a life in a world that doesn’t want them in it.

I relate because I am one of the millions who have lost homes and spouses and jobs and futures. We live on our past now because it is all we have, like a dream, a mirage. Was it ever really real? Did we ever have a happy life with happy children and a happy spouse? I understand and I want to make you understand, as well, when your spouse is employed and you cannot find a job it is easier for that spouse to blame the person rather than the situation because it gives them an out. A free pass, so they can cast you adrift because it is your failing and not the situation.

How can you blame the situation? You should find a job even if there are none; you should cringe and crawl and take jobs that wouldn’t pay enough to keep the wolf from the door, as a sign of your devotion. When, in fact, it is a fantasy, a make-believe dream that if you took that job that cost more in gas and laundry than it paid that somehow it would all work out. Yet to paraphrase Twain, “It’s troublesome to do right and it ain’t no trouble to do wrong and the wages are just the same.”

I have contemplated taking my own life, not in some melodramatic movie scene but instead as a patron tired of the movie melodrama. To cast down my popcorn, disgruntled by a lousy plot, and hit the bricks. Like a salmon, I have swam upstream and now I am tired; I have done my bit and now I look for a back channel in which to rest. We are disjointed and separated, yet we are connected by what is going on and by what is happening to us and being done to us. I am not alone; I see you out there in fortress America. I have seen your homes boarded up and your cars repossessed. I wonder where have you gone? Just like those kittens, I wonder where will you go and what will become of you when the thunder crashes and the rain pours down?

Why doesn’t this country give a phuck about us? If they can rescue banks and mortgage companies and automakers and insurance companies, why can’t they rescue us who have become as stray cats in this society? If they are not going to help us, why not at least offer us suicide booths or Kool-Aid stations to give us an out?

I look for jobs and it makes me angry, Tom Joad angry, job listings that don’t say what the job is or how much it pays. Like picking peaches for a nickel a basket, but my basket fills with rage and I want to scream, “Phuck You! Phuck you and your bullshit job!” I’d rather drink the Kool-Aid. At least with the Kool-Aid I control my own destiny and don’t need to snivel, hat in hand, mumbling, “please sir?”

But I can’t do it, I can’t drink the Kool-Aid, I must try again to break through. I have a computer and a brain and maybe this time I can reach you. Reach you to make you understand that you are me and I am you. I am homeless and you can become homeless, too; you are not indemnified. Your husband or wife will leave you because you are unemployed. They will not go down with you!

They will kick you to the curb because it is easier to blame you than to accept the situation. “Till death do you part” rings hollow when the mailman brings only threats. It is better to pluck out an eye than to corrupt the whole body. So we are cast out, into a world which has taken everything from us and now expects us to say please for the privilege of shoveling its crap.

But you out there, who are like me; you are all that I hold on to. I understand you and relate to you. I am inverted by you, converted by you. My life is no longer about wants; I want nothing for myself. I have no more dreams for myself but only for you. I am liberated by the sense that they can take nothing more from me, not even my life, for I don’t give a phuck about that any more myself.

I want to see change, not marginal change but real change, because without it you’re all no better off than I am, only you’re still clinging to the illusion that it will get better. The cable news channel says so, but they lie because that’s their job. To lie and tell you it's not so when it is so. To tell lies that look ten foot tall from in the house but out in the street where I live you can see them for what they really are. Lies to protect those who put us here and who fear that the government will spend their precious money trying to assist us.

Well then, leave no room in your luggage for patience and dignity, you won’t need them. You will need to find extra room for repressed rage. You will begin to realize that this government that claims to represent you cares no more about you than stray cats; you’re just a thump in the wheel well of their limosine. When that reality hits you, the scales will fall from your eyes; you will no longer see political parties, the party's over and you weren’t invitied.

We need to stop traffic and to stand in the street, to grab this society by the testicles and shout, “This is our country. Either share it or we’ll take it from you!

“His is a relationship to his little local bank or local loan company. It is a sad fact that even though the local lender, in many cases, does not want to evict the farmer or home-owner by foreclosure proceedings, he is forced to do so in order to keep his bank or company solvent. Here should be an objective of Government itself, to provide at least as much assistance to the little fellow as it is now giving to the large banks and corporations. That is another example of building from the bottom up.”
(Franklin Delano Roosevelt)

Mortgages modified under the Obama plan: 9,000.
Foreclosure notices sent out since the plan was implemented: 800,000.
Democratically-controlled Senate votes down mortgage assistance for home owners 51 to 45

[bunnies]

1. k&r & bookmarked.

My eyes were so teary I had to read it twice. :cry: :hug:

[samplegirl]

2. Good Read thanks for sharing...

Living in the Rust Belt of Ohio and now seemingly so our last life line of G.M.
threatened the despair on the faces of more than not each day here in a my small town of N.E. Ohio. Some I guess are still in denial and others just to complacent to care. The real deal for me is driving by once strong factories now abandoned. Trains sitting on tracks lifeless with no coal runs. It makes mission accomplished virtual reality.

K&R

[Daveparts]

8. Here in Atlanta

We had the award winning Ford Plant in Hapeville, ranked highest in quality
turned out car for over forty years. Paid 10% of the taxes in Hapeville.
I lived in Powder Springs a railroad town and I'd see the rail cars carry the cars out and then come back empty for more.

Then the plant was shut down (I.E. moved to Mexico) and I watched as the trains hauled the empty rail cars away. The trains carried containers from China and India and Germany and Japan and I thought to myself they bring us goods and the containers go home filled with our dollars.

[DemReadingDU]

11. Same here is SW Ohio

Too sad for words
:(

[secondwind]

3. would you want to talk to someone other than on a computer? Perhaps you can get help/suggestions

on what to do.

[samplegirl]

5. We have had all the corruption

one state can stand for eight years straight. Hopefully Tim Ryan, Sherrod Brown and others will work on turning this around. Our local newspaper is an absolute disgrace urging tea-baggers to continue their support. Talk about disgust!!

[Daveparts]

6. The Help I Need

The help I need is a job, I have been described as clinically depressed but considering my situation wouldn’t that be normal? I do not want to take drugs to trick my mind into thinking it is not depressed when it is because if I do how will I know when I’m better?

I apply for jobs everyday, but the actual jobs are few and far between, example,

American Made Art has positions open for management. We are looking for 4-8 sharp individuals for full time. New office being opened in Tampa Fl has left voids to be filled. We have a beautiful fun office in Norcross and are looking to fill these positions right away. You must have a great attitude and work ethic along with being able to work well with others.

Going door to door badgering people to buy cheesy oil paintings these people have been advertising for months

No Job? No Boss? Be your own Boss

$1000-$3000 PER DAY
No selling. No MLM
Don't believe? Don't call Kenneth @

Etc.

[Baby Snooks]

9. The joy of job-hunting...

When I had a car that I could depend on which I no longer have I delivered pizza because it was a decent paycheck and a lot of tips each night and that always got me through the worst of times believe it or not. When I went to apply for assistance at an agency I had to go through "job counseling" at the agency and I sat there listening to someone who is probably paid $75,000 a year or more basically telling everyone how to read the want ads. That was the "job counseling."

There were several of us sitting there and all of course had "immediate need" of cash. Miss Job Counselor of course had no ideas. I thought oh, you know I really hate the fact I know more than she does and I can't pay my bills and she is being paid a fortune for not knowing anything at all but these people are desperate.

"If you have a car, deliver pizza because every night you go home with tips. If you have a voice, do telephone soliciting with someone who pays cash bonuses because every day you go home with a little cash."

You could see the little light bulbs going off in everyone's head. Except for hers. She just sat there not comprehending it. I saw one of the men who was there that day recently. He was delivering pizza to someone in my apartment complex. He thanked me. I thought to myself how wonderful he is working and how sad he is delivering pizza. He has an MBA but at 60 is too old for the job market. And as he put it "single and assumed gay." So much discrimination in this country.

I think what depresses me most are these ads that promise "$1,000 a day" which probably means the owner makes $1,000 a day and you are lucky if you make $100 a week.

I learned about the pizza delivery from a realtor I worked with years ago. When things got tight, she borrowed her son's truck and donned a little hat and off she went each night into another part of town where no one knew her. Paid the bills.

It's not an option for me now any more than going back to real estate simply because I have a car but it is not dependable. So I wade through the want ads each day. Trying to find some humor in some of them although really there is none.

And it is depressing when you call and the reality hits!

[The Doctor.]

10. Wow...

I've been there.

I just sat stunned at the truth of what you've said; "when your spouse is employed and you cannot find a job it is easier for that spouse to blame the person rather than the situation because it gives them an out. A free pass, so they can cast you adrift because it is your failing and not the situation."

What's worse is how they lie, and tell their friends and family that you aren't trying at all, that you're 'this or that' or that you've done things you haven't... all to justify abandoning their commitment. Eventually, they believe their own lies, why? So they can live with themselves.

There really is hope, I promise. I work every day towards a loftier goal, so that when I achieve it, realization becomes inescapable.

[pnwmom]

49. Aren't you at all curious about what the spouse's side of the story is?

If you have a spouse who is clinically depressed, suicidal, and refusing medical treatment -- on the grounds that it might "trick" his mind into "thinking" he's feeling better -- what are you supposed to do? Let yourself be dragged down into the abyss, too?

One of my family members was married to someone with a serious mental illness. Something like that, untreated, tears apart the whole family.

I hope there are no children involved. It would be the hardest on them.

[Baby Snooks]

53. I think we all read the spouse's side....

I understand and I want to make you understand, as well, when your spouse is employed and you cannot find a job it is easier for that spouse to blame the person rather than the situation because it gives them an out. A free pass, so they can cast you adrift because it is your failing and not the situation.
______________________________________________________________________

Maybe you can't read. Or maybe you just assume because he's a man he must be at fault. Men always are. Women never are.

I cannot find the words to express how offensive your comments are. Who the hell are you to tell this man he just needs help? Are you walking in his shoes? Have you walked in his shoes?

Despair is not the same as mental illness. Depression is not always an indication of mental illness. Quite a few people do think about suicide. Particularly in times like these. You get tired. And want to give up.

One thing you get tired of is people assuming you just need help. After all, the world is so wonderful. Just take a pill. And it will be wonderful for you as well. His post was not a plea for help. His post was obviously meant to merely share what he is going through. Perhaps not realizing how many others are going through the same thing.

Including being offended your comments. Enough already.

[pnwmom]

56. Not one of us has read the other side, because it isn't here.

But there are clues:

"Your husband or wife will leave you because you are unemployed. They will not go down with you!"

Should a spouse really be expected to "go down with" a clinically depressed mate who refuses treatment on the grounds that it might trick him into feeling better?

[Kindigger]

70. Excellent

:thumbsup:


On edit: this was for Baby Snooks' comment.

[sybylla]

87. Thanks, Baby Snooks.

I have a friend who was on anti-depressants for several years after her divorce. She kept telling me about how the drugs just weren't working and how the doctor would prescribe something different every few months. I thought, gosh, maybe the drugs aren't working because you have some damn good reasons to be depressed and you know it.

It's too easy to make assumptions about the state of people's minds, the circumstances they're in and whether or not drugs will be any help. I have no problem with recommending getting help, but beating up people because they don't want it is seriously unhelpful.

[pnwmom]

25. A person who is clinically depressed shouldn't worry that the drugs

will be tricking "the mind into thinking it isn't depressed." When the drugs do work, it's because they lift the depression enough for the person to take other steps to help him to feel better. I hope you will consider getting some real help.

[DUlover2909]

61. OMG man tell me about it.

I spent over a decade in Dallas dealing with employment ads in the newspaper. Fucking waste of time. I even remember taking the bus to an art dealer like you mentioned. They said I needed a car. I didn't have one, so no job. I will tell you this, from on DU'er to another: Migrate to Houston, Texas however you can. Go to a church that provides meals or assistance to the poor. See if you can get them to pay for a bus ticket. There's a Salvation Army homeless shelter near downtown. From there you can find soup kitchens and sources of assistance that will provide bus passes. Get your ass to the shipping channel. There are more good paying jobs around here than you would believe. In a month you could be living in an apartment of your own and you could even support a cat or two. It takes determinaion and tenacity. You'd be surprised at how easy it is to be successful here if you'd just show up on time and be willing to work. People here are lazy and spolied. I'd love to see one more Democratic voter come on over. I live 2 blocks away from a church that passes out free groceries twice a week, and clothes. They get so much food and donations they end up throwing it away. I came here with NOTHING. I mean NOTHING! I know how to start with nothing and make something. The last 3 years I've vacationed in New York, Boston, and DC. I paid off a car, paid off all my debts, cleared my credit, and even got a couple of credit cards (that have zero balances). I have furniture, an HDTV, computer, cable, DVR, surround sound, a Playstation 3, among other things. The best thing I have though is my dignity and my pride back. I wouldn't say all this stuff normally, but I was moved by your prose. I know how you feel. PM me if you need any help.

[mdmc]

74. kick/r

glad things worked for ya.:toast:

[Baby Snooks]

78. What is it you do for a living?

"There are more good paying jobs around here than you would believe"

Where are all these jobs in Houston? I don't see them. A lot of people don't see them. What is it you do for a living? Just because you have a job in Houston doesn't mean there are jobs for everyone in Houston. I would hate for someone to move here and find it is not what you say it is. And it isn't.

"I live 2 blocks away from a church that passes out free groceries twice a week, and clothes. They get so much food and donations they end up throwing it away"

Where is this church? I was at a food pantry, sponsored by a group of churches, last week. They were low on food. I was told all of them are running low on food.

Most of the agencies are also running low on funds. Many are being evicted because there is no money to help pay their rent. Many are having their lights turned off because there is no money to pay their light bill. Too many needing help. Too little money to help them with.

The homeless shelters including the Salvation Army are overwhelmed and many now charge for the night. Everyone else sleeps on the sidewalk.

No offense but the tone of your post implies that people who aren't working in Houston must be lazy. That is not the case at all.

[DUlover2909]

84. I do industrial radiography. I started with no experience.

I see opportunities for entry level welders, helpers, scaffold builders, and other non-entry level skilled labor. In my field I have found that most of my co-workers aren't all that into doing the harder jobs, meaning jobs that require spending more time and producing more. My main frustration is in finding an enthusiastic helper.

I have heard reports about how the Houston economy is nowhere nearly as badly effected as other parts of the country. I wouldn't want all of America to come pouring in, but if a fellow DU'er came and was willing to work, his or her chances of success would probably be better than many other cities right now.

I will doublecheck on the church in Pasadena where I got food. I just related what I did 3 years ago to get out of the dumps in Dallas. I suppose it's possible things are a little different now, but work hasn't slowed down for me.

[Baby Snooks]

88. "For me..."

"I suppose it's possible things are a little different now, but work hasn't slowed down for me."
______________________________________________________________________

That is one of the problems with this country. The "me" in everything. Everything is relative to "me" as the sole frame of reference.

Things may good for you. They aren't necessarily good for everyone else.

Skills and trades are not jobs for everyone. Some of us are too old, some of us cannot afford to pay for the new training required for many of them, some of us are too limited physically. If you're young and able, I probably would agree that someone can find a job without too much trouble in Houston. Particularly manual labor. But then again with manual labor, it is "bilingual" preferred. And really "bilingual" hired. Although there isn't that much available for manual laborers either.

The greatest challenge for many is age discrimination. We die at 40 in this country in the job market. AARP has a program now for people over 50. The problem is unless you have other income you cannot live on what you get paid while you are being retrained for 3 - 6 months. It is a good program I suppose for someone on unemployment. The problem is not everyone is on unemployment.

We like to believe we control our own lives. In fact we don't. But we like to believe we do. Which is why we are always blaming victims for being victims in this country. And why we run the stray cats off.

[DUlover2909]

93. You are addressing alot of issues in this response.

I understand that there are lots of issues that affect many different skill levels, educational levels, physical abilities, etc. I am really sorry that things have gotten so horribly bad for so many people. This economy has been so terribly mismanaged during the past 8 years. I can't say that I didn't see it coming. I had arguments with people that claimed, "War is good for the economy."

I acknowledge that the success that I had might have been anecdotal. I posted because I wanted to help this person, and so I told my story and what I did to claw back into a working life. Maybe I should have thought it out more. I should have not assumed that everyone has the same faculties as myself. In the future I will not make that assumption.

I appreciate your critical points. I need that from time to time so that I can better understand who I am and how to relate to others in general. The oligarchs have made life too difficult. I saw the post that was up recently that shows that real wages haven't gone up since 1979.

My original post in response to the thread was to inspire some hope and to show that giving up might not be necessary. I didn't want to place blame. I have run into people that were really not aware of the resources that are available from churches and homeless shelters. I thought I would try to convey that in my post, along with other info.

[Baby Snooks]

95. We all assume...

We all assume things we shouldn't - we assume there is an unemployment check for everyone when there isn't, that there are jobs for everyone when there aren't, that churches and community organizations will cover the rent and utlities when they no longer can cover the rent and utlities for everyone and are beginning to revise their policies with regard to who they will and will not help simply because there is not enough funding to help everyone, and that food pantries have lots of food when a growing number of food pantries are running low on food.

We all assume things we shouldn't - we assume because we are afraid of the reality. It frightens us. So we find ways to ignore reality.

That's why we buy the $10 sack of groceries in the grocery stores and drop them in the red bins for the food bank. It makes it easier to ignore the reality in the parking lot. The homeless who are pandhandling in order to have something to eat. The homeless who have been to the food pantry and are refused food because they are homeless. Another reality of food banks and food pantries few realize. No home? No food.

I get very angry. And I get very depressed. It's not a matter of "been there, done this." It's a matter of "am here, doing it." A second time.

The first time it was just me. This time it is everyone. It is no longer just my economy collapsed. It is OUR economy that collapsed. Every day more and more are added to the lists of unemployed in this country. And the number of people, on the "official" list anyway, who are still unemployed six months after they lost their jobs increases every day. They juggle the numbers. So no one really knows how many of us there are. But far more than they will admit to.

I think what makes me angry the most and depressed me the most is the assumption we all make about the stray cats. We assume someone else will feed them. They are hanging around our door because no one else is.

[dixiegrrrrl]

4. "clinging to the illusion that it will get better."

They got us hooked by that damn hope thing.

You nailed it with every single word, may I make a copy pls.

I am glad you are seeing clearly. I am glad you are angry.
Anger keeps you going.

You leave me breathless and almost speechless with the piercing light of the truth.

[Baby Snooks]

12. HOPE

I was doing "fundraising for the arts" as I put it to myself to delude myself into thinking I was doing something other than telephone soliciting the past couple of months and passed by that mural with the picture of Obama and the word HOPE every day on my way to the train.

HOPE? I see hopeless all around along with all the homeless who often are not far from that mural panhandling just to have something to eat.

I was hoping I would be doing "fundraising for the arts" through the end of April. It came to an end the middle of April. The arts are in trouble so to speak. Of course we lasted a week longer than ten of the actual employees who were let go the previous week.

I guess there is HOPE for Wall Street. There doesn't seem to be much HOPE for Main Street.

[Baby Snooks]

7. Been a stray twice now...

I've lost it all twice now as a result of the havoc of dealing with a system and a society that doesn't want to deal with stalking. Only another stalking victim can know how absolutely life-destroying it is - a former friend made the mistake about a year ago of telling me that I had lost control of my life. Someone took that control away from me.

I have so far managed not to become homeless. But have come close. I cannot imagine what it must be like but I see the homeless every day from my window by my desk congregating under a freeway underpass across the way. I was so blessed to have found this apartment. It has a big window overlooking a vacant lot that has been turned into a park by the various homeowners in the neighborhood. My window overlooks an oak tree that is over 100 years old. I needed a vista to look out on. What a vista. Both the oak tree and the homeless. There but for the grace of god go I. But it isn't the grace of god that saves us. It's the grace of friends. But I have found you lose those along with the possessions. I miss the possessions quite honestly more than I miss the friends. Who really weren't friends. They were friends as long as I had the money to write the checks for their charities and their needs and their wants.

You can tell who on DU is doing well and who isn't just by reading the posts and the subject of the posts.

The ones who aren't doing well see the hypocrisy of this administration and express their dismay over the hypocrisy.

The ones who are doing well don't see it or won't see it and post endlessly about "their" president and what a wonderful job he is doing and post endlessly about "their" first lady and what a wonderful job she is doing when in fact neither is doing much except smiling for the cameras. We have a Democrat in the White House. Ain't it grand?

Maybe that's all anyone really cares about. Republicans are happy when there's a Republican in the White House. Democrats are happy when there's a Democrat in the White House. I suspect they are Republicans and Democrats who have stable jobs, successful careers or trust funds.
______________________________________________________________________

Mortgages modified under the Obama plan: 9,000.
Foreclosure notices sent out since the plan was implemented: 800,000.
______________________________________________________________________

That says it all. Everyone just doesn't want to hear it.

My cats are my only real friends at this point. They always have something to eat. Even when I don't. I know what it is not to have a friend to take care of you. I suspect you feel the same way about Moxie and Blackie. How lucky they are to have us. But we are lucky as well.

Like Rod McKuen put it, love at best is giving what you need to get.

And as long as you can give love, you have it all. Even when you've lost it all.

[emilyg]

32. I wish I could k/r your post.

[Skittles]

47. I do too

[zalinda]

13. I know...............

I'm right there with you. But add to that arthritic knees that get worse every week. I even have two strays that I feed. It does take your mind off your own terrible life. I have pills that I have saved for the day when I can no longer "take it".

With dems fully in control, there should be no excuse for our situation. I could not bring myself to vote for Obama, I voted for McKinney instead. The only thing I had control of was my vote, and I wanted to vote for a firecracker, not a fizzle. We needed someone to really turn things around, and we ended up with someone who thinks there's all the time in the world to make that turn. Meanwhile people, real people are losing everything. And, to top it off, these are people who played by the rules all their lives, and have found that their only reward is government indifference.

zalinda

[DemReadingDU]

14. I have a friend

She teaches pre-school. Attendance is way down this year because parents cannot afford the tuition. Her husband had his own store that sold carpet, did quite well, until the bank called in the loans. He went back to laying carpet, for someone else. These people are in the mid to late 50s.

Think...when more and more people lose jobs, fewer and fewer have money to spend on pre-school or home-remodeling. It's all trickling down to less and less, because there is no money.

We have yet to see the effects of the thousands (millions?) who will be unemployed from the shutdowns of the auto sectors this summer. That's when more people will wake up that this is worse than a recession, and there is not going to be 'recovery' any time soon.

[tomreedtoon]

15. I was just laid off. I don't know what to say.

I was given retirement, and have some other money, but I know I will need a job. I will find one, I swear.

But, Mr. Coe, I don't know what to say to you. I know that I invested a lot of my self-esteem and prestige in having my job. I also used a lot of my income to help people worse off than me, which I will only be able to continue with manual labor, not buying a week's worth of groceries for them.

I've learned that I have value as a human being outside my job. I have value that nobody appreciated, not even me. I'm beginning to do that.

At the same time, I know people who are on anti-depressants (who have the minimal income to get those $4 refills at Wal-Mart) and get their scrips from poverty welfare programs. I know that depression isn't simply psychological, it's also chemical.

I don't know what kind of medical aid program you can get where you are, but I believe you should investigate it. Get your meds. Get whatever therepy you can. Understand that you are not alone.

And maybe, in understanding that you are not alone, you can find others and do something. Organize. Grab society by the testicles, as you say. Find your life in action.

[Baby Snooks]

18. A pill a day makes the pain go away...

I don't know what kind of medical aid program you can get where you are, but I believe you should investigate it. Get your meds. Get whatever therepy you can. Understand that you are not alone.
______________________________________________________________________

I cannot count the times I have been told that. I just need meds. What I needed was someone who had stalked me to be prosecuted.

What he needs is a job. Not meds. I really get fed up with this "a pill a day makes the pain go away" attitude of people.

Is it our pain people are worried about or the pain we cause them when they look at us and see themselves in the mirror?

[tomreedtoon]

22. I'm sorry. I was trying to think of what would help.

I was thinking, if you got your meds (and Mr. Coe got his), you could stabilize your chemical environment. Then, if you went to therapy or group or some kind of counseling, you could get your emotions and self-image in order.

I understand what you wish would happen, and maybe it will, but I think it's more profitable to try to rebuild your life assuming that it won't. Look inside yourself and love yourself, then stand up and go forward.

And for the record, I don't see myself when I see other people in pain. I see you in pain, and recognize that I might suffer that kind of pain some day. And I'm sorry that I have lead such a retarded emotional life that I can't effectively convey that to you, or find some effective way to help except to say that I understand, sympathize and weep with you.

[Baby Snooks]

24. Excuse me?

"I was thinking, if you got your meds (and Mr. Coe got his), you could stabilize your chemical environment. Then, if you went to therapy or group or some kind of counseling, you could get your emotions and self-image in order."
__________________________________________________________________

My "chemical environment" is just fine. And I suspect Mr. Cox's is just fine as well. And it's Mr. Cox. Not Mr. Coe. But I'll pass your suggestion on to the two psychiatrists I've worked with, as opposed to being treated by, in terms of understanding and dealing with post traumatic stress syndrome.

Neither of whom have suggested I need meds or any kind of counseling. But what do they know? They're just psychiatrists.

[tomreedtoon]

37. Wait a minute. You weren't the suicidal woman in the thread?

The one who was hoarding pills in preparation for an overdose? My apologies.

And it's Coe...or Cox, or whatever the hell his name is...that I was bothered by originally.

But you know, you're right. Psychiatrists are not much help. I ended up going through four therapists in twenty years before I found one that even approached understanding my problems.

[pnwmom]

48. But Mr. Cox and you have entirely different situations.

He's not dealing with being stalked or with post traumatic stress syndrome.

He's mentioned clinical depression and suicidal feelings.

So whether or not you need meds or counseling doesn't have anything to do with him. Only a qualified therapist or physician should make that judgment.

[pnwmom]

26. If he is clinically depressed, medication could very well be what allows him

to function well enough to get and keep a job. I wouldn't discourage someone you don't even know from at least attempting medical treatment.

[Baby Snooks]

28. Not discouraging him at all...

He says someone has described him as clinically depressed. He doesn't say if it is a psychiatrist or psychologist or just someone he talked to. I don't know. I don't know him. Neither do you.

I do know I read his posts. He sounds perfectly normal and rational to me. Depressed as hell. And angry. And the anger is why I question whether he is clinically depressed. Clinically depressed people usually "flatline" emotionally. And don't feel much of anything.

Anger is sometimes constructive. Keeps us from going over the edge. Keeps us from becoming clinically depressed.

I do know I read your posts. You assume if he just takes his meds he will be able to "get a job and keep a job" which is so indicative of your not having any concept of what the world is like for millions of Americans at the moment. There are not millions of jobs for us. Which is why so many of us are depressed. And angry.

Taking a pill a day isn't going to create jobs for us.

[pnwmom]

41. When a person says he's been contemplating suicide,

that issue needs to be addressed before anything else.

I didn't say that if he takes some medication he WILL be able to get a job and keep a job. I know the economy is falling to pieces, and I have no idea what posts of mine you could be referring to. (Unless they are posts defending the President who has been in office for only a few months.)

But IF the poster is seriously clinically depressed, to the point of feeling suicidal, then it won't matter how much things change around him -- he'll still be paralyzed. And he'll be still be at terrible risk. He needs to get help from a professional, whether he gets it by going to an emergency room or a public health clinic.

[emilyg]

33. Absolutely right.

After a death in the family - it was a pill-a-day that got me back on my feet.

[pnwmom]

42. And it wasn't because the pill "tricked" your mind into thinking it was better.

It helped you to function again so you could start taking other steps to feel better.

[emilyg]

51. Yes.

[cascadiance]

29. I was just laid off last week too. Stray cats fight the law, and the law wins! :(

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DfzVDZWV4mw

Storm the Embassy Stray Cats!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gKdAVYKYZfo

[robinlynne]

16. wow. just wow.

[napoleon_in_rags]

17. You really should just say "fuck", Mr. Tom Joad.

It might make you feel better than "phuck".

Anyway, I know you are in a very hard situation, I've been in similar ones, homeless and whatnot. One thing I recommend is giving yourself a great big dose of history. There are a lot of people who look at history as a movie, something we are no longer in, but its in situations like you are in when it hits us that we are still in history. Its all real, the reality of going to concentration camps or being chopped to pieces by Mongols is just as much a ho-hum reality as your last trip to Wal-mart. Though the lens of history, we see that so much of what we take for granted as a solid structure of the world around us is a very fragile construct. Government is an illusion, money is an illusion, etc. If you have nothing left to lose, you may as well take off the blinders all the way and see the world as it is. There is a sense of horror and a insecurity that this view prompts, but also an incredibly liberating sense of freedom if you willing to accept it.

Enjoy your beer!
:)

[Kindigger]

71. I contemplate suicide every day

My history was posted here a long time ago. I spent 15 years taking happy pills for my 'depression'. I was in pain because I was depressed -- not the other way around. They wouldn't even give me an appointment with an orthopedist.

It took fifteen years for my neck and back to collapse. I was so relieved to finally prove I wasn't 'crazy'. Now I live with chronic pain 24/7 from untreated problems that rewired my brain's pain center.

People ask: Why are you so angry all the time? Cheer up it can't be that bad. Are you sick?

Hell yes I'm angry; I'm angry at the BS medical system. I'm angry that I can't do anything -- even sleep through the night, without being in pain. I've got a right to be angry & depressed, and no those happy pills that I threw away two years ago wouldn't change a thing.

And yes, I think about suicide at least once a day. The only thing that keeps me here is wanting to see what's going to happen next or how it all ends.

[Baby Snooks]

76. Quite a few of us have, quite a few of us do...

The pain does overwhelm us at times. As does the anger. Somehow we manage to find something that adds a little light to the darkness and a little joy to the sadness and despite it all we find ourselves enjoying life even if it is just for the moment. But moments are all any of us have. One of the lessons I learned from Elisabeth Kubler-Ross.

Sometimes, again, it's just the love of stray cats that adds the little light and the little joy. What a wonderful title for a wonderful post. Stray cats. We are all stray cats in a way.

[napoleon_in_rags]

79. I'm glad wondering what's going to happen next gets you through the day.

We get through by what we can, whatever little thing. What I was trying to get at in my reply to the OP is that in many ways, suffering and death are the norm for humanity, ignorance and fumbling are the norm. Its like with this torture that going on, we talk about it like its something new, and I WANT to think of it as something new: If I could look at it as a new step in the wrong direction, I could have hope that we could also make a step in the right direction. But in actuality, its a step in NO direction. Its the inquisition, crucifixion, the rest of human history. The same old shit that's always been happening. The picture of human life has always been pretty dark, despite being programmed by a million ads which tell us it would all be okay if just had X, a lot of people break through and see it. The people I really admire are those like you and the OP who live without the illusion, face the darkness, and find those little glimmers of light in it all. :)

[winyanstaz]

19. My family has just been hit hard too......

Two of my sons live here with me..I am a widow, and we are like roommates because it is easier for us all to live as a group. We just got a hard hit when my youngest was run out of his job by a supervisor from hell at Fred Meyers As he is the eight manager she has run off like this and Fred Meyers knows it.....I don't see much that can be done. Luckily other managers know her and have given him a place starting in two weeks outside of where she has any power.
In the meantime, we are all scrambling to make all the payments and keep food on the table. We will NOT kick him out or to the side..he is family and a hard worker and a great human being. But I hear you.
A lot of families are breaking apart over this mess, a lot of businesses are failing and a lot of homes are lost.
When those we elect in congress will do NOTHING to help the little guys and make the little guys pay trillions to the rich bastards of the world..yes..people are getting angry.
I do like a lot of the things Obama has done. I think his wife is wonderful..and he is doing some good. I am still just waiting for the important things we need.
Things like jobs and housing and a place for the homeless until we get back up and running.
Things like helping our farmers and stopping the artificial messing around with our food supplies.
Things like our National Guard here at home for the times we NEED them here...not on the other side of the planet while hired mercenaries roam around American streets.
Things like getting all the way OUT of Iraq cause it is costing us a fortune every day and we have no damned business even being there in the first place.
Things like getting rid of the unconstitutional Patriot acts and the Military Commissions act..laws that are un american and shameful. Things like spying on innocent people.
Things like finding out the truth of 9-11.
Things like getting out of Afghanistan where once again..we have no damned business being there..why are we there? We are killing thousands to get one man? Spending billions? Getting Americans killed for what?? Its just bullshit.
It doesn't make me an Obama hater...just because I want to know when he is going to get to the things I think are important.
Yes I know it takes time..but a lot of people are going down the tubes without a life raft in the meantime.

[Baby Snooks]

30. The reality

Obama doesn't care about us. That is the reality.

[pnwmom]

44. No, that's not the reality. That's your perception only.

My perception is that Obama certainly does care. But he isn't a dictator and he can't wave a magic wand and instantly fix all the country's problems. He's only been in office a few months and he has to work with two other branches of government. He's not perfect but I can't name anyone who'd do a better job. And you can't either.

[Baby Snooks]

20. What I find amazing...

If this were one of the "photo-op" posts about the latest "photo-op" of the Obamas, there would be over 100 posts about how life was good, he was the greatest, how can you not love him?

The latest is about Obama and Biden stopping to buy a $6.95 hamburger. I wonder if MSNBC did a wide shot to see if there were any homeless people hanging around. Maybe hanging around back. By the dumpster. Hoping to have a meal from whatever Obama and Biden didn't eat.

My heart just sinks at this point. We truly are two Americas. And some of us are part of the America that simply doesn't exist to the other.

[Jeep789]

63. When did Obama ever claim that he could eliminate poverty

or perform any other miracles? He can't, he won't and he never promised to. Why aren't you and the op pl;acing the blame where it belongs, on the Bush administration and the folks that support idiots like them. We all knew this was going to hit hard due to their mismanagement.

I think Obama has done a great job in the short time he has been in office and I don't think it is a sin to express a wee bit of happiness at having a sane, empathetic, intelligent President with integrity and a wonderful family thrown in to boot.

[intheflow]

21. I just posted this to my facebook.

The bit about finding a job that pays sub-subsistence wages is right on target. It's what I'm looking at being underemployed; I get a good hourly wage, but a only 15 hours a week, it's not enough to live on. I'm only surviving due to the generosity of a friend. But according to the government, I'm just fine and dandy because I have a job! I should be grateful! I should STFU and suck it up! Don't worry, bee happy!

I'm not happy. :mad:

Anyway, hang in there, Brother. You are not alone. And you give me hope by reminding me I'm not alone, either. Thank you. :hug:

[Baby Snooks]

27. The Underemployed...

They're not listed in the unemployment figures. But should be. Because they aren't able to support themselves with 15-30 hours of work a week.

And that is becoming quite common. More and more employers are restricting hours for a variety of reasons and one reason is to prevent the employee from becoming eligible for unemployment. No one talks about that. But should. There are lots of things lots of people should talk about. But don't.

Many of the underemployed were listed at one point in the figures and then when they were no longer receiving unemployment they were dropped from the figures. Some became underemployed and some just became part of the invisible unemployed. Invisible because they are not receiving unemployment. Many of them self-employed who no longer have their small business or have watched their income from "contract work" disappear. They are not eligible for unemployment. Housewives whose husbands have left them and don't have jobs aren't eligible for unemployment either. There are lots of people who aren't eligible for unemployment. Lots of people in this country don't realize that. There are lots of things lots of people don't realize in this country.

The estimates of how many people in this country are actually, as opposed to officially, unemployed vary. Most estimates are around 15% which include everyone no longer listed or never listed in the "official" figures. It may be higher. It may be around 25% if you include the underemployed.

The two Americas. I am part of the one the other pretends doesn't exist. There are quite a few of us.

[tbyg52]

23. It's class warfare, and the wrong side is winning. nt

[sce56]

31. I'm sorry to hear you are so down and I hope you get the help you need in a new job and start!

I have been down now for the past 4 years due to a divorce but have struggled on luckily I have moved on through three jobs since then and always at a higher pay the IRS loves me I'm sure. But all I have to say is that until we get back our congress from the thieves that have taken it over and the Blackmailers that apparently run the place we will not get ahead in this matter I have seen it coming for years now and always wondered how they get all of those stupid laws passed in congress now it has become quite obvious that they are being blackmailed we should all forward the article from Brad Blog to Amy Goodman at and ask her to interview Sibel Edmonds see the link below to the DU article and the Bradblog Article. Maybe we can give this story some feet if we all work together to get it on the airwaves!

[sce56]

38. Look here to give this a wider spread we need action now!

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x5601863

[Baby Snooks]

39. No one is being blackmailed....

Every member of Congress does well by Congress. Some do quite well over the table where everyone can see it and under the table where no one can see it. They love the oligarchy. They love the hand that feeds them. And they aren't about to bite the hand that feeds them. Not when it feeds them so well. They all lie in the financial disclosures. They put everything in blind trusts which are actual trusts and then they take out the income they need to live on and the rest of the income is retained in the trust. And they don't have to report it because it's not income they received. And so they don't report it on their financial disclosures. They all serve their own interests first.

[sce56]

40. So do you belive this story should die? Or should we get this out in the open? n/t

[varelse]

34. Damn

I hope life offers you a happier choice of topics in the near future (i.e. your situation improves to bearable soon) but DAMN, you are a talented writer. And a kindhearted soul.

Bookmarked.

[hay rick]

35. Being poor.

I was poor for about 10 years when I was much younger (mostly in my 20s). I hated being poor but I am grateful for the experience. I am also grateful that it hasn't been the other way around- prosperous or at least comfortable early and then poor in later years...I think that would be much harder to take.

I grew up in a conservative, middle class family. My early political reading included "National Review" and "Conscience of a Conservative." I moved out west to San Diego and started living on my own. I got a temporary job as a firefighter with the State of California. I was laid off at the end of "fire season" and found out what it was like to be unemployed.

Fortunately, I was able to stay with a friend for a few weeks while I was job hunting. Having no luck with want ads in the newspaper, I turned to the yellow pages in the phone book. I got up to "J" before I got a nibble... for a night-time janitorial service. They would go in and clean businesses after they closed. The man who hired me was a Mr. Gomez- I forget his first name now- I didn't work there very long. What I will never forget is what he said to me. He told me he hired me because he believed that ANYONE WHO WAS WILLING TO WORK SHOULD BE ABLE TO HAVE A JOB.

He could only afford to use me part-time because he was already employing relatives and his business wasn't very large. I was his stray cat.

I soon moved on, finding the next in a succession of 30 or so other jobs and scraped by for the next decade before I finally found a decent-paying, regular full-time job. My inherited conservative political philosophy had long since been discarded...

[Baby Snooks]

36. Then and now...

I soon moved on, finding the next in a succession of 30 or so other jobs and scraped by for the next decade before I finally found a decent-paying, regular full-time job.
______________________________________________________________________

What so many don't realize is there are no longer the options of the "30 or so other jobs" as there once were.

Not to be politically incorrect but some of the jobs you took at one time are no longer available in many cities. Janitorial jobs? Do you speak Spanish? Dishwasher jobs? Do you speak Spanish?

I interviewed for a "professional" job two weeks ago. I was surprised I even got interviewed. They hired someone "bi-lingual" which was not a requirement but was "preferred" so as to prevent someone from finally getting fed up and suing for discrimination. Why do we have to speak Spanish in this country in order to get a job?

That makes me angry. It would make Barbara Jordan, who to me is still the epitome of what an American, as opposed to a Democrat or a Republican, should be, angry as well. She would have to bite her tongue to keep from saying "I told you so."

I wonder if you took jobs in call centers? Those are all now in India. No doubt someone will suggest that Mr. Cox and I and millions of others should move to India. Maybe we could move to India, become citizens of India, and then get hired by Microsoft and move to Seattle?

Retail jobs? There are very few. Not only are salespeople losing their jobs, stores are closing. Pizza delivery? Have to have a car. Security jobs? Many of us have bad credit. So we can't work for a security company. We are "high-risk" meaning we might steal. The list goes on and on and on. Welcome to the new world. Not the same as the old world. Then is not the same as now.

But thank you for reminding us that we can and do manage to go on and we manage somehow to get by. Even when we are homeless we are not completely hopeless. Not yet anyway. I need a job. Mr. Cox needs a job. If I could I would give him one. Hopefully someone will.

I interviewed for something earlier. I passed by that mural of Obama. The one with the picture and the word HOPE.

I shot the bird at him this time. It felt wonderful.

[Jakes Progress]

43. And even here on DU

those who are comfortable keep telling us to settle down, don't be too lefty, just wait.

I remember the riots in Watts and the riots in Houston. It took that kind of violence to shake this fat country and make it look. We got the Great Society because of those terrible times. Now we've let the rich erode that social contract. We've forgotten what desperation and inequality can create.

Wait hell. If we don't get the changes we want now when the president we elected is loved by the country, just when? How many more will spend their 44 cents for a can of food for the homeless cats rather than for their own food before this country and this party gives a damn. Anyone remember that Spanky and Our Gang song. Those times are back.

[pnwmom]

46. Obama isn't a dictator. He's only been in office for three months and he has

to work with a legislature and a Supreme Court. I'd like to know what you think he could have already accomplished, on his own, that he hasn't?

[Jakes Progress]

80. Please wait

until someone actually attacks President Obama before you dislocate a knee joint.

Read the whole post. Read it slowly without a preconceived agenda.

[pnwmom]

83. And this is what you said that I was reacting to:

"Wait hell. If we don't get the changes we want now when the president we elected is loved by the country, just when?"

"Wait hell." And "now."

Maybe you could have expressed your thoughts more clearly, if you didn't mean to criticize the President who's only been in office for a few months.

[Jakes Progress]

86. How is saying the president is loved

a criticism? How is wanting change now through using his popularity a criticism?

I really doubt that I could have written anything clearly enough to get through your purity filter. Maybe you could express some thought about the plight of the penniless since that is the topic of the OP. No. Instead you jump to show how dutiful you are to defend a president who doesn't need defending.

To that point maybe you could express your thoughts more clearly on the recent rejection of foreclosure aide. Maybe you could express your opinion more clearly on just how long we should wait before our party begins attacking the uber rich lackeys who thrive on the misery of those like the OP. At what point do we stop ignoring everything but the president's reputation.

[Jeep789]

64. Riots worked? How is that?

The riots I have had the displeasure of watching simply tore apart poor neighborhoods.

Times are bad but it is not a surprise. We freaking knew these times were coming from early on in the Bush administration. Obama is not a miracle worker and never claimed to be. Giving him credit where it is due even while we urge him to more seems proper to me.

[Jakes Progress]

81. Criminey.

Read the post and comment on what I said instead of jumping to conclusions that are far beyond your leaping distance.

As you know, I didn't say the riots worked. Where did I say we shouldn't urge the president to do more? Where did I say that these problems were his and not the result of bush/cheney?

Don't be so touchy for our president. The purity league here on DU seems to be on a crusade not to urge a progressive agenda, but to seek out any hint of praiselack, even when it isn't there.

I have a feeling that you understood my post and were simply looking for a place to display your faith. That point was that we will never have a better time to move quickly. We have a beloved president. Now is not the time to dance with the devil or parley with the republicans (same thing). The point of the OP is that people are suffering now. We must put that suffering before the people and damn the republicans (and Democrats) who balk at addressing those ills. History has shown us that when the well off don't attend to the business of humanity, chaos will follow. We got that with the riots. If we fail now. We will have them again.

[Baby Snooks]

92. And we probably will have them again..

Most suspect over the summer. When there are still no jobs for millions and millions have lost their homes and joined the millions already homeless and there is nothing for them because there are just too many who need help and so no one is helped. That is where we are heading.

Most cities are being overwhelmed by people needing help and the help just isn't there. You can help just so many people. That is why most agencies are revising policies. Single people will be the first to be told they cannot be helped and they need to find a shelter. That is already happening to a degree. Then the elderly. Only families.

And even then they will be overwhelmed. People will have their lights cut off because there just isn't the money to keep them on. In Texas people are paying from 15 to 18 cents a kilowatt hour and some are paying more depending on how much or how little electricity they use. That's happening in other states as well. If you conserve energy, you pay more for it. Shocking, isn't it? I found that out last month when I noticed my bill had gone up and wondered why. I used less electricity so I paid 1.5 cents more per kilowatt hour. 19.5 cents per kilowatt hour. I switched back to a variable rate which will save me about 5 cents per kilowatt hour. Unless the price of natural gas goes up. But I saved significantly last year. Before the price of natural gas went up.

Of course I don't have a job. So I may not be able to pay the bill regardless of how much it is per kilowatt hour. And I will have to hope an agency can pay it.

I have seen how the other half of America lives. And I've encountered the attitude the other half of America lives with. I don't like it. I saw it once before. But it was different before. I could find jobs and keep my head above water. I didn't have to go to agencies to keep my lights on or my rent paid when I didn't have a job or didn't get a check on time or just didn't get a check. I didn't have to go to food pantries. I was at a food pantry last week. They were running low on food. And that is happening at all the food pantries. They don't have the money to buy the food from the food banks. That finally woke me up to what lies ahead. And then I read about the stray cats. And realized I am one of them. Along with so many others.

[OwnedByFerrets]

45. The saddest and most truthful post I've read in a long time

[pnwmom]

50. I know that mental health care can be difficult to get, but I hope you won't

give up on it. There are clinics that use sliding fee scales (that won't charge anything if you have nothing); there are public health clinics; and there are emergency rooms. If there is a local Catholic Charities, call them and ask for referrals -- they'll be able to tell you what resources are out there and they won't care what your religion is or try to sell you any.

Good luck and please hang in there!

[Baby Snooks]

55. Enough already...

Are you trying to reach out to this man or merely trying to impress everyone else by playing Sigmund Freud? Reach out to him in a private message instead of victimizing him further by belittling him and dismissing what he is going through by stating as you have that he is mentally ill and must seek help. So offensive.

[pnwmom]

58. Sorry, but I don't think your anti-med, anti-therapy message is helpful.

I haven't diagnosed him, I've just referred to the statements he made about himself.

[Iwillnevergiveup]

52. David, I disagree

that you have nothing to offer. You are a wonderfully talented writer who has moved all who have read your post. Not everyone will comment, but they won't soon forget.

I do agree, based on what family members and friends have told me, that anti-depressants can be a godsend. The two most common things I've heard said are "They took the edge off" and "I was able to think more clearly." Worry and anxiety are very draining, so these comments made a lot of sense to me.

I wish for you better days, and soon. They will happen. Please keep us posted, okay? We care.

[Jeep789]

65. Very well said. nt

[Daveparts]

68. Several Years Ago

I was in a car accident and suffered a closed head injury. That literally played with my brain,
I couldn't remember things or stand on one foot it was a weird feeling. I explained to the doctor that I was having these strange cravings. I didn't drink but craved alcohol, he asked a few questions and per scribed a drug. I was to take one before bedtime but I only took one.

I spent the night with the feeling that fireworks were going off in my head. I tossed and turned and in the morning I woke up feeling like I'd been on a acid trip, I was burned out. It took the edge off alright, I was lethargic almost drooling. As for creative thought there was none. This buffoon of an MD had per scribed me an antidepressant because I had told him I craved alcohol A=B=C

If I wanted alcohol I must be depressed. My father used to say only a fool goes to the doctor when he knows what's wrong with him. They'll take your money tell you you're right and send you on your way.

If I am depressed considering the situation thats normal. I felt much better feeding and talking to the kitties last night.

I told the MD about my experience and what I thought was his total misunderstanding of the situation and he answered, "Hmm, maybe we need to adjust the dose?" People graduate from medical school with C's and D's all the time.

[Baby Snooks]

75. It is normal....

And quite a few of us go through the same thing. Some of us more than others. All of our situations are different. The thing we share is the constant worry of how we are going to survive.

I've met four psychiatrists in my life who knew what they were talking about. Or I should say who actually were talking. The rest are merely overpaid pharmacists. "Take one a day and the pain will go away."

I've learned to avoid psychologists because most of them have a "prescribing physician" and play pharmacist as well. Most of them have as many "desigations" after their names at this point as they can fit on one line. Obviously in response to an inferiority complex caused by not having an "MD" to put after their names.

Most of us do just fine without pyschiatrists and without pharmacists.

One of the things I learned and others have learned from working in hospice is the value of Elisabeth Kubler-Ross and the stages of death and dying which are also the stages of grieving. Losing a job is a loss. Not unlike a death.

It is also traumatic and some of us find ourselves falling victim to post traumatic stress syndrome. Trying to find another job merely traumatizes us further particularly if we are older. Nothing helps us through it better than understanding the stages. Particularly the anger and depression stages. Which are perfectly normal.

The hardest stage to deal with is acceptance. But somehow we do. And we start living again. Takes time.

And sometimes it takes the love of stray cats.

[inna]

54. one of the most moving posts i've ever read on the DU, KR, nt

[WillYourVoteBCounted]

57. recommended - sadly we've come to this

the rich get richer, everyone else gets poorer.

[g_dubyah]

59. Just simply, thank you.

Mr. Cox, I have been a member of this forum for the past several years and my nightly routine involves reading and digesting some 2 or 3 dozen of the journals, editorials and diaries that are published here each day. Never, in all that time, have I been moved to respond to a single writer. Tonight when I read your post I had to say, just simply, thank you. You spoke for me, you spoke about me and just as importantly you spoke to me. I won't go into my personal story or divulge any of my history because that is not what I wanted my comment to be about, but, be aware that you chronicled the emotions, the fears and the anger I have felt in this last part of my life as surely as if you had been an eye-witness to it. I guess that is truly the saddest part, that neither of us is, in fact , alone. There are more than likely legions of us surviving yet another day in the desolation of what was once our life.

Man to man, human being to human being I tell you in all sincerity that I am so sorry that you have had to experience and endure this ugliness. No person should ever have to.

Again, thank you for giving me a voice, for saying what I wanted to say and for understanding why it needed to be said.

[DUlover2909]

60. K&R thanks for sharing with us.

I hope there's a major turn-around coming soon. Green jobs? Where are you? Let's put these folks to work building wind turbines and solar panels and hybrid-electric cars. I would gleefuly pay for all three right now. I'm just waiting.

[LittleGirl]

62. I feel your pain

Mr. Cox,
I've been unemployed for 2.5 yrs now and I have gone through all of the stages you mentioned. It's not pretty and thankfully, I have a supportive spouse even when I blamed him for the misery. Our recession started back then. I too have thought about suicide and I know the depression was because of the situation, not the brain chemicals misfiring. I knew I didn't want or need drugs either. I thought the only thing that would make me feel better would be a job. Surprisingly, spring has had a calming effect and lifted me up out of the depths of winter's greyness and sorrow. We're not homeless yet but that could happen if my spouse loses his job this winter. I hope spring gives you some hope. Your writing is wonderful and I appreciate everything you wrote. Thank you and good luck.

[Christa]

66. K & R

Dear David

I am so very sorry :cry:

My husband and I are almost there where you are. I lie awake at night, get up sometimes at 2-3 am because I am so worried that I cannot sleep anymore. It hurts me to see him sitting with his head in his hands or watch him just staring at the wall.

We came here as immigrants 12 years ago because we believed in the American dream. The dream turned out to be a nightmare for us. We cannot go back and we have nothing and no one here. We are too old to start all over and most of the times I feel my life is over. I am afraid something will happen to me or my husband as I don't know how we will survive without each other.

Both of us are depressed but we know it's because of our situation.


Be careful of anti-depressants as it can cause suicidal tendencies.

[comtec]

67. Been there, done that, got way too many T-shirts...

But you can take those kittens in.
You can protect them from the other strays.
Just because the gov won't take care of you, doesn't mean you can't take care of others.
Your's is a horrible, and ever more common position.
I'm just saying do what you can, for who you can.
:hug:

[handmade34]

69. Thank you for your essay David

""We need to stop traffic and to stand in the street, to grab this society by the testicles and shout, “This is our country. Either share it or we’ll take it from you!""

Yes! Yes! In my fantasy world you and I and a few others here would get together and take our lives (& this country) back(or can we take something back that never really belonged to us?). Possibly just insist that they quit taking more than their share. The capitalistic, class society we live in has divided and conquered (along with causing much damage to the environment and our social fabric), and most of us seem to play along. I have struggled and most of the time there seems to be no rhyme nor reason - just that those that have, are willing to play a game that I was never able to really buy into. There is so much I would like to write in response to your essay but fear I might diminish what you have expressed. Stay angry, stay alive. We need you.

[GTurck]

72. For some of the....

same reasons I have felt the same way but always think of the button I once wore about not letting the bastards getting you down. But you must - we all must focus and direct this anger and frustration into positive actions to restore something more human and enlightened.
Obama has to face an organized and motivated resistance to the status quo. He must hear often and passionately from the PEOPLE like you and me who are being hurt by policies and attitudes such as Limbaugh's laugh line about not seeing a recession. When the power of the people overrides and erases the power of the dollar change will come. Make Obama do what he knows we want but because he has to buck so many of the rich and powerful to accomplish that has to feel that WE will protect his back to get it done.:kick:

[Epiphany4z]

73. I can relate to much of this

it is a hard time to have to be out looking for working...I was fired from a dollar store job last year...Thanks to diabetic eyes that resulted in three $5.00 register errors....as jobs go it was pretty low on the totem poll ...and I felt pretty low for not being able to hold on to it.

I often wonder how much more stress folks can take........my only advise is not to be scared to take a pill. I have often said that if I was not depressed going through all this.... then I would truly be crazy....that said the pills don't trick you into thinking your happy ... ..they just kinda take the more jagged edges off so I can function just a little bit better...fight a stronger fight...

[Baby Snooks]

77. Low on the totem pole....

So many of the jobs we take are just that. It is so demeaning to so many of us. But we have to survive. What we don't have to do is put up with abuse. I've walked off quite a few jobs because of it. Not only the way I was abused but the way others were abused. It opened my eyes to the other America. I don't like the other America. And I don't accept it.

[handmade34]

91. well said

...more people need to not accept the abuse. We have so much power together and we have become so divided???? I shake my head...

[Ho Tai]

82. Well said

Thanks, David, for that heart-tugging piece. Makes me think of a melancholic Henry Miller.

You're a better man than me. I don't think I could handle being a "stray" for a day. Climb into the empty frig with an open jar of ether, buh-bye.

I think it's about to get better, cuz there's way more of us than them. America's a relatively young country. She doesn't have her wisdom teeth yet...

Socialism exists because it's actually cheaper for society to pay NOW to treat people with respect than later when they've become disenfranchised.

[PatSeg]

85. Kick

[Doctor_J]

89. I don't understand blaming Obama for this

Sorry, I understand that times are brutal, but strides are being made every day to repair what happened to the country over the last 8 years (or more). It took a decade of willful, malignant plunder and lawlessness to bring us to this disaster. He and we are fighting against an evil money and media machine that wants him and us to fail. We will be back. Campaing for your local DINO's opponent. We will be back

[Baby Snooks]

90. Sorry but I disagree..

Trillions of dollars for Wall Street and pennies for Main Street, particularly the people who have lost everything and really are living on Main Street, well, in the alleys off of Main Street, really doesn't cut it with me and I don't see where anything so far will help Main Street.

And everyone keeps blaming Bush but Wall Street had begun to implode along with Enron and quite a few other companies before Bush was even elected. So you really can't blame him for it. You can only blame him for allowing it to continue as it did.

It started with Phil Gramm. And with Bill Clinton. It started with both of them turning Wall Street into Las Vegas.

We also had a Democratic Congress for two years before Obama was elected and it did nothing to help Main Street either and still is doing nothing to help Main Street. Only Wall Street.

And then there is Madame Speaker. Who in anger over the Pink Ladies daring to protest in front of her home commented that it was a shame they weren't homeless people because she could just have them arrested.

That doesn't sound like someone who's terribly concerned with the plight of the homeless or the people who are becoming homeless.

There is no money for Main Street. You just think there is. There is trillions of dollars on paper but by the time the states and the cities waste it there will just be pennies left and the pennies won't be spent on making things better for anyone and probably will just spent on more "retraining" programs that in the end don't produce actual jobs. The ones we have don't. They just juggle those figures as well.

What they can't juggle for long is all those trillions of dollars. At least ten trillion for Wall Street. Another one trillion for Main Street. Maybe another trillion for Main Street in the budget. On top of a couple of trillion of dollars all total for a war for oil.

At some point Congress is going to find the ATM known as the taxpayers will flash "insufficient funds" and refuse to return the card.

The rich will have moved to Switzerland. And everyone else will be living under bridges. Along with all us stray cats.

[Jakes Progress]

94. These are telling times.

Just like those leading up to the riots and protests in my lifetime and those that preceded. This is a test of our citizen's humanity. It will be interesting how it plays out here on DU. Some of the comfortable will finally see what is happening and begin acting to make change now. Others in comfortable circumstances will keep protesting that the poor are being too strident. Then they will begin to blame them for being poor - you know - lazy, uneducated, tacky. They they will begin to resent them and berate them for wanting too much too soon. Then they will come to feel that these people are threatening their comfort. The transition is complete. They will have become republicans.