What Could You Live Without?

[babylonsister]

http://www.nytimes.com/2010/01/24/opinion/24kristof.html

What Could You Live Without?

By NICHOLAS D. KRISTOF
Published: January 23, 2010


It all began with a stop at a red light.

Kevin Salwen, a writer and entrepreneur in Atlanta, was driving his 14-year-old daughter, Hannah, back from a sleepover in 2006. While waiting at a traffic light, they saw a black Mercedes coupe on one side and a homeless man begging for food on the other.

“Dad, if that man had a less nice car, that man there could have a meal,” Hannah protested. The light changed and they drove on, but Hannah was too young to be reasonable. She pestered her parents about inequity, insisting that she wanted to do something.

“What do you want to do?” her mom responded. “Sell our house?”

Warning! Never suggest a grand gesture to an idealistic teenager. Hannah seized upon the idea of selling the luxurious family home and donating half the proceeds to charity, while using the other half to buy a more modest replacement home.

Eventually, that’s what the family did. The project — crazy, impetuous and utterly inspiring — is chronicled in a book by father and daughter scheduled to be published next month: “The Power of Half.” It’s a book that, frankly, I’d be nervous about leaving around where my own teenage kids might find it. An impressionable child reads this, and the next thing you know your whole family is out on the street.

At a time of enormous needs in Haiti and elsewhere, when so many Americans are trying to help Haitians by sending everything from text messages to shoes, the Salwens offer an example of a family that came together to make a difference — for themselves as much as the people they were trying to help. In a column a week ago, I described neurological evidence from brain scans that altruism lights up parts of the brain normally associated with more primal gratifications such as food and sex. The Salwens’ experience confirms the selfish pleasures of selflessness.

Mr. Salwen and his wife, Joan, had always assumed that their kids would be better off in a bigger house. But after they downsized, there was much less space to retreat to, so the family members spent more time around each other. A smaller house unexpectedly turned out to be a more family-friendly house.

“We essentially traded stuff for togetherness and connectedness,” Mr. Salwen told me, adding, “I can’t figure out why everybody wouldn’t want that deal.”

snip//

“This is the most self-interested thing we have ever done,” he said. “I’m thrilled that we can help others. I’m blown away by how much it has helped us.”

[Kali]

1. pretty revolutionary thinking there

the greed god is not going to be happy about this!

[kayakjohnny]

2. Wow!

I only scanned it, but...

Wow!

[Fire1]

3. Understandable. They were looking at the larger home as a

symbol of success like most people do. Little did they realize it was a liability.

[midnight]

4. I have spent the last several years handing out coats, food, water, and money

from my car. I have worked on two local and two presidential campaigns. I will continue to promote the idea that every bit helps.... Please look out for your community. But that said - No more waiting, No more name calling, no more excuses. Eradicate these lop sided economic policies, and create jobs.

[Sherman A1]

5. Republicans

I could live very well without them.

[PJPhreak]

6. Wow...Just Wow!

This left me speechless...This just go to show that the "American dream" needs a bit of tweaking.

Bravo!

[nilram]

7. k&r

[snake in the grass]

8. I can do without...

...so-called conservatives from both parties. I need them as much as I need a goiter.

[greenbird]

9. Wonderful.

Brave thing to do. How great for that teenager to be taken so seriously by her family.

[frazzled]

10. How wonderful it is depends on ...

Just how luxurious a house that entrepreneur family had, and how far they had to downscale. If they were living in a 5,000 square foot McMansion, it makes sense to downsize to a 2,500 square foot house.
We brought our kids up in a 1,500 square foot house with one bathroom, so downsizing would not have been an easy option for us.

I'm not knocking what this family did: clearly, they could have stayed put or pocketed the money, and they didn't. It's a great lesson. But I think that the American dream in the 90s and 00s got way out of whack. I learned this from watching House Hunters, where young couples decide they just can't live with fewer than four bedrooms and 3,000 square feet, or a retired couple gets way more suburban boxy nothingness than they need. It's bad for the environment, it's selfish and wasteful. Hopefully, it's over.

[CrispyQ]

12. House Hunters

OMG, don't get me started. The want list of the young couples is staggering! They have to have now, what took mom & dad 30 years to achieve. I'm sunned by the amount of debt some of these kids take on. And they don't even have any children yet. No wonder Americans are so stressed out. If one thing slips out of place in their life, the whole house of cards crashes.

It would be interesting to know how big of a house this family was living in. There are houses down the road from us that look like small office buildings. I've always wondered how much it cost, just to cover the windows.

It's bad for the environment, it's selfish and wasteful. Hopefully, it's over.

I couldn't agree more!

[bertman]

11. Inspiring story. Thanks for posting this, babylonsister. nt

[4dsc]

13. Shrimp

After reading that other article I could do without shrimp..

[glitch]

14. Meat, cigarettes, coffee, martinis, lawns, a car made after 1990, heat above 60

air conditioning below 90, carb snacks, and now shrimp. Unless I can grow my own. :)

edit: not a complete list.

[lumberjack_jeff]

15. Republicans.

Pity there's so little market for them.

[Knight Hawk]

16. Already do

Meat,all tobacco products,all alcohol products,all restaurant eating,all movie going,all junk food,all air conditioning(live in central Florida year round,all heat in winter above 70,all socializing with non relatives,a newer car (12 years old or older is fine. I CANNOT live without internet or cable tv or books.

[Rebubula]

17. Sorry...

..but if I get your post, you sound kind of boring.

[Knight Hawk]

18. to some

One's man's meat is another man's poison.Everyone lives their entire life in their own head,between their own ears.Ever think about that?

[Lost Jaguar]

19. Ayn Rand would call this evil.

Putting others, even one's friends and family, before oneself was immoral at best to her. And she's a role model for so many people nowadays. "Atlas Shrugged" is selling well, I've heard, although I wonder how many crypto-fascist drones actually finish reading that boat anchor of a book. How do these people live with themselves? Even conservative Christians somehow distort Christ's teachings to fit this perverse attitude.

If excessive consumption and constant upgrading of one's status is the American Way, then this writer is dangerous and better not fly in any small planes soon.

[Skittles]

20. some of us never bought into the big-ass house scenario

some of us have ALWAYS lived simply

[proteus_lives]

21. I think I know what my dad would have said.

"Well, let's take all your stuff to the pawn-shop and then we'll give them that money. It was your idea after-all."