Mike Malloy: April (Gun) Showers

[RamboLiberal]

Ah, April.

Time to break out the breezy floral prints, shine up the white Mary Janes, dye some eggs...and reinforce the barbed wire on the electrified fence surrounding your split-level Cape Cod.

April is a dangerous month, and not just because of the thunderstorms, floods, and tornadoes. In middle America, it's raining gun-crazed Tea baggers. Call it Spring Fever, but history shows that April is the preferred month for the beer-bellied Bubbas to go all Jesse James and start piling up assault weapons, ammo, MRE's and Bibles in their backyard bunkers while flailing their arms and raving about their misguided message of the day. It may be Obama's assault on the Second Amendment; or the filthy Democratic trick that banned God, The Bible, and His commandments from the courtrooms and classrooms; or the illegal Liberal Socialist confiscatory income tax; or the minorities and/or illegals who are ruining (White) America - taking our jobs and corrupting our good Christian women; and they're especially unhappy about the Ungodly Homosexuals who are lurking in our military, our schools, our YMCA locker rooms, forcing their full-frontal Gay Agenda assault on the Constitution and random unsuspecting, innocent straight white men everywhere.

So, in these last precious, safe days of March we learn that the FBI raided a nest of religious militants in Michigan over the weekend, you know it's time for the rest of us average American citizens to break out the Kevlar. According to CNN, "Nine suspected members of a militia group were charged Monday with seditious conspiracy and related charges attempted use of weapons of mass destruction, teaching the use of explosive materials and possessing a firearm during a crime of violence . . . . The five-count indictment unsealed Monday charges that since August 2008, the defendants, acting as a Lenawee County, Michigan, militia group called the Hutaree, conspired to oppose by force the authority of the U.S. government. The Hutaree group proclaims on a Web site it is 'preparing for the end time battles to keep the testimony of Jesus Christ alive.'"

Hmmm . . . . sounds like the goal of your average Fox "News" fanatic or typical Sarah Palin worshipper. They sure luv her rockin' website with its map of the US with the exciting gun-sight targets on all the states with Democrats up for reelection. Yeah, we got your message Sister Sarah Baraccuda, loud and clear; 10-4! Just tell us where to bring the bullets. (She's so bitchin' hot in her tight leather jacket, shootin' animals and stuff from her helicopter).

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/mike-malloy/april-gun-showers_b_519274.html