'When we understand that slide, we'll have won the war:' US generals given baffling PowerPoint prese

[bananas]

Source: Daily Mail

Its coloured charts, graphs and bullet-points are supposed to make the most incomprehensible data crystal clear.

But even the sharpest military minds in American were left baffled by this PowerPoint slide, a mind-boggling attempt to explain the situation in Afghanistan.

'When we understand that slide, we'll have won the war,' General Stanley McChrystal, the US and NATO force commander, remarked wryly when confronted by the sprawling spaghetti diagram in a briefing.



PowerPoint has become public enemy number one for many US officers who find themselves battling slide presentations rather than insurgents.

Some have gone as far as to declare all-out war on the software after the military command was over-run with mind-numbing 30-slide presentations.

<snip>

Read more: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/worldnews/article-1269463/Afghanistan-PowerPoint-slide-Generals-left-baffled-PowerPoint-slide.html

[MikeW]

1. makes my eyes hurt

[proudohioan]

39. Same here. n/t

[provis99]

2. It's a structural equation model!!!

I knew I didn't waste my time taking graduate statistics. Should I offer my expertise to Gen McChrystal, so he knows how to win the war?


A Preliminary Structural Equation Model of
Comprehension and Persuasion of
Interactive Advertising Brand Web Sites

[No Elephants]

33. Yes, please. The sooner, the better. Wait.

Who are we at war with again? Not Iraq. We just wanted to give them democracy.

Not Afghanistan. Maybe we're not crazy about Karzai these days. However, he is our puppet and we're giving Afghanistan aid up the yin yang.

Oh, who cares? Whatever war we're in, yes, help them win it so we can bring U.S. troops home at last. Enough is enough. And it's been more than enough.

[KansDem]

3. Maybe I'm old fashioned, but should we send US troops to die for a concept that can't be understood?

:shrug:

[proudohioan]

38. +1000! n/t

[Owlet]

4. It looks like one of

Mark Lombardi's drawings. <http://www.steamshovelpress.com/altmedia18.html>

[frylock]

10. first thing that crossed my mind as well..

i really need to buy that book.

[Ghost Dog]

25. True Art.

The price paid was: assasination, apparently.

Shit.

[Moosepoop]

5. It reminds me of creations I made

on my Spirograph when I was eight years old.

[UpInArms]

6. got one for McCrystal to give them right back

[bobthedrummer]

7. Copy that, UpInArms.

O8)

[UpInArms]

23. thanks, bob!

keep on keepin' on!

[harmonicon]

8. -1, big time (nt)

[UpInArms]

22. there are always some that just won't ever get it. n/t

[change_notfinetuning]

9. And how many thousands of dollars did that worthless monstrosity cost the

taxpayers? How many man hours went into developing it? Talk about a welfare program . . .

[chollybocker]

11. Kick.

It looks less like a diagram for "How to Win a War," than a diagram of "How to Sell a War."

[Vattel]

12. good lord

power point presentations are generally a waste of technology. (A chalkboard is usually a much better tool for presenting information.) But that slide takes the cake.

[Tx4obama]

18. Unless it is Beck's chalkboard, then it is just a bunch of lies written in chalk. n/t

[No Elephants]

34. Glenn Beck, is that you, you ole chalkboard lover, you?

[saigon68]

37. Wonder what that cost $$$$ !!!!!!

[Ghost Dog]

13. I don't see where it says

"(Still jealous of Britain and Rome) US Imperialist Great Game Strategy for Domination of Eurasian Natural Resources (and destruction of pathetic so-called democracy) and Promotion of Neo-feudal Oligarchy."

Not to mention, US domestic propaganda control of (dumbed down) hearts and minds. Nor, vampire squid.

[lumberjack_jeff]

14. I suspect the file is named "pooch_screw.ppt" n/t

[conspirator]

20. Or cluster_fuck.ppt (n/t)

[BootinUp]

41. rofl

[elias49]

15. What a laugh!

All you have to worry about, Stanley, is killing lots of unarmed people. It's all good.:fistbump:

[AlbertCat]

16. Wait a minute! That's the same as the Neo-Laffer curve!!!

The Laffer Curve is what supply-side economics is based on. Here it is:





The Neo-Laffer curve is brilliant mathematician Martin Gardner's analysis of it. He points out that the Laffer Curve ignores anomalies and myriads of cogs that can get in the way... so he drew up the neo-Laffer curve taking these things into account. Here it is:





SEE?... just another RW powerpoint presentation. They've got a million of 'em!

[AlbertCat]

17. OMG! If you turn it sideways and look in a mirror, you can see the Virgin Mary!

[girl gone mad]

19. "We know more and more about less and less...

until we know everything about nothing."

[IDemo]

21. Now imagine Commander-in-Chief Sarah trying to wrap her mind around it

"Now...we're talkin' about where the Afghan puppies come from, right?"

[Ghost Dog]

26. Sarah doesn't need to think.

Sky-Daddy does it for her. So she knows feely-feels she's right, whatever the question she wasn't paying attention to was.

Ain't that just, so, all-american?

[tanyev]

32. Sarah would be sitting at the back of the room, texting through the entire meeting.

If someone asked her for a decision, she'd come up with a spur of the moment gut feeling. Or else ask Todd what to do.

[amandabeech]

24. Isn't it Jared Diamond who writes about the collapse of complex systems.

That's a complex system. They're supposed to collapse rather quickly.

Where's General Westmoreland when you need him. He'd fix it all just like he did in Viet Nam.

[Odin2005]

27. Christ, I'm a very visual thinker and that made MY head hurt!

:crazy:

[hvn_nbr_2]

28. One thing is clear and obvious from only a quick glance at that chart

"Popular Support" is right there next to "Infrastructure ... and Economy," "Insurgents," and "Narcotics."

"Central Govt" and "Coalition (everything)" are about as far away from "Popular Support" as it's possible to be.

Whether my observation about this chart says something about Afghanistan or about the military mind, I don't know.

[Bluebear]

29. Well, that's clear. nt

[Jim Lane]

30. I notice that it's labeled "WORKING DRAFT".

I guess the idea was to start with a draft that has just the basics. Now that they have that much on paper, they can start adding the complicating factors.

[notadmblnd]

31. well from what I can see, they haven't gotten very far in this war.

There's problems with drugs, insurgents, popular opinion and a corrupt governing body. I'm no expert and I only looked at it briefly, but I think I'm on the right track.

[No Elephants]

35. Does McChrystal do anything else to kill the spirit of the troops, or is this all that's needed?

[JustABozoOnThisBus]

36. I'm missing something. Where is

where is the arrow showing the institutional damage to coalition forces caused by being kept in theater too long or too many times?

And, where is the institutional damage to coalition forces caused by gays serving openly or serving under dadt?

And where is the arrow showing how we entered this spaghetti bowl in the first place? More importantly, where is the arrow showing how we get out of this mess?

I eagerly await "working draft - v4"

:hi:

[wizstars]

40. Raise your hand if you can find the hidden QUAGMIRE in this diagram!

Funny thing--I don't see any of those lines connecting to Osama bin Laden!!