Christine O'Donnell Proposes "Don't Touch, Tell All" Military Policy.

[justinaforjustice]

At the very moment that the Democrats may move to abolish the military’s anti-gay “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” policy, (see Joan McCartér’s “DADT Repeal Prospects Look Good” on Dailykos of 9/15/10), Republican primary winner,Christine O’Donnell, is crafting her first piece of proposed Senate legislation to be introduced in her current U.S. Senate campaign.

Referred to by O’Donnell insiders as the “Don’t Touch, Tell All” policy, it would require the military to prohibit all sexual self-stimulation, including masturbation, in its ranks on pain of dismissal from the military.

O’Donnell’s proposed regulation would require all military personnel, married and unmarried, to submit to weekly polygraph questioning on the subject of their personal sexual habits, especially instances of self-stimulation.

Similar to Scientology’s auditing process, all military personnel would be questioned about their sexual practicing during the previous week. Those who truthfully admitted to instances of masturbation would be given a demerit for each instance of masturbation.

Those admitting to more than eight instances of masturbation in any six month period would be placed on probationary status, while a score of 12 or higher would mandate automatic dismissal from the service. (Demerits could be removed from a service member’s record by his/her providing documentary or video proof of equivalent instances of male-female sexually procreative practice).

Those who appear to be giving deceptive answers to the weekly sexual questioning would be automatically re-tested. Persons scoring as deceptive on three or more sessions of polygraph testing would be summarily dismissed from the service without benefits.

More of this SNARK at http://www.dailykos.com/storyonly/2010/9/16/902402/-Christine-ODonnell-Proposes-Dont-Touch,-Tell-All-Military-Policy.

Ed No. 1: This is SNARK! as indicated in original link to daily kos. That is, unless O'Donnell steals the idea, which is a logical extension of her position on masturbation. Link to dailykos re-newed, hope it works now.

[truth2power]

1. I couldn't get the link to work. please tell me this is a joke...

You understand it's hard to tell, these days.

[justinaforjustice]

4. Snark, Or Let's Hope so. n/t

[Enthusiast]

2. This has to be a joke.

If this is true even the baggers won't vote for her.

[The Wizard]

3. Many years ago

when I was in the army I caught a guy pleasuring himself in the shower. He said, "It's mine and I'll wash it as fast as I want."
Methinks the candidate from Delaware has some personal issues.
People want to know, what is Christine O’Donnell hiding.

[justinaforjustice]

5. Demand Video in O'Donnell's Shower and Bedroom.

In the interest of full exposure and transparency, let's demand that O'Donnell put her video cam where her own purity can be checked on a daily basis.

[The Wizard]

6. Demand to see

her dildo collection.

[katty]

7. yes, masturbation awareness and policing is a top qualification

for becoming a senator...yet, another entertaining asshole

[enuegii]

8. "Handy" way to get out of the military...

[southernyankeebelle]

9. Is this real or a joke? Hell there wouldn't be anyone left in the military.

[raging_moderate]

10. I hope this isn't considered too offensive, but....

O'Donnell has had her hand in public masturbation forums and discussions for pretty much her entire public career. It's pretty the closest she's come to a home run in terms of her public political persona. When asked when and why it started, she dodged the question by stating that she unfortunately couldn't put her finger on it.

[katty]

11. O'Donnell running on: Satan is a teabagger, vote for me!