MEDIA ALERT: CORRECTED TRANSCRIPT OF SECRETARY RUMSFELD'S FRIENDLY, NON-CONTENTIOUS BULL SESSION WITH JOYOUS, 100% GUNG-HO NATIONAL GUARDSMEN IN KUWAIT
Morale-Boosting Appearance by the Secretary of Defense
Camp Buehring, Kuwait
SECRETARY RUMSFELD: At ease, gentlemen. Gosh, seeing so many of you meat pawns gathered here at this mandatory public relations dog and pony show makes this old war poodle squeeze bitter little ice cubes out of the corners of his squinty eyes. So without further chit-chat, let's get this heartfelt Q&A on the record. I hereby order you to ask me honest, softball questions so that we I can feign sympathy for the ridiculous sacrifices you grunts are making.
You in the camouflage. Speak up.
PFC Daniel Anderson: Thank you, sir. Will you and the Pentagon finally make it easier for me to re-enlist for another tour of combat duty?
SECRETARY RUMSFELD: Gee-whiz, I'll see what I can do to make sure you get to proudly serve your nation until the Lord calls you to the great barracks in the clouds. Thank goodness for those "Thou Shalt Not Kill" loopholes, eh? Next!
---Great, All-American article continued at---
http://www.whitehouse.org/news/2004/121004.asp