"Surreal Times are upon us": Scott Burns in the Dallas Morning News

[Sick_of_Rethuggery]

http://www.dallasnews.com/sharedcontent/dws/bus/columnists/all/stories/010205dnbusburns.56126.html

Here are a few choice excerpts!
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Time marches on. It's another day and another dollar – unless, of course, you're paying in euros.

If you are paying in euros, I don't feel sorry for you at all. It means you're wandering the land of the 35-hour workweek and slow food. It also means you're in a place even more sophisticated than the blue states, the ones that understood the subtlety of John Kerry.

For the rest of us, here are my 100 percent nuance-free Fearless Forecasts for 2005.

• Congress will have a new mission: Save the rich from luxury inflation. Early in 2005, luxury inflation will be recognized as a national problem. It will be given its own index by the Department of Labor. It will no longer be something worried about only in The Wall Street Journal or W magazine.

<...>

• The elections for 2006 will be canceled. This will not happen, as left-wingers feared before last year's election, because of a right-wing plot. The elections will be canceled when a study reveals that 95 percent of all political candidates are guilty of a nanny violation – failure to pay employment taxes for household help. The remaining 5 percent? They inhaled.

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on edit: Corrected author's name!

[Skittles]

1. for the record, Karl Rove is Dallas Whoring News TEXAN OF THE YEAR

:puke:

[hatrack]

2. True, true, but Scott Burns is Da Man

In fact, he's the ONLY thing worth reading in that POS rag.