Leave it to the deranged Seattle Times to promte the fabled movie "Lord of the Rings" as a beacon of conservative philosophy. In "The implicit conservatism of 'Lord of the Rings,'" columnist Bruce Ramsey - a certifiable, if not certified, kook - reports that John Rhys-Davies (the actor who plays the dwarf Gimli) was in Seattle the other day to report that the movie speaks to the defense of the West and its values. "This outburst of political incorrectness delighted the folks at Seattle's Discovery Institute, who invited him here to do it again."
He gave another performance at Seattle's Town Hall, where he recalled his father saying in the 1950s that the next great war would be with Islam: "I want to go back and say to him, 'You were right.'"
Reality Check: The Discovery Institute is an extremely bizarre congregation of right-wing corporate creationists. If you don't believe me, check out their website at
http://www.discovery.org. ("Beam me up, Scotty!") Town Hall is a venue the Seattle Mafia uses to broadcast its propaganda to a live audience; it's heavily supported by the Seattle Weekly, a corrupt tabloid that masquerades as an alternative newspaper.
Ramsey takes a different view of "Lord of the Rings." He says the magic ring represents political power, which can be oppressive. (No kidding.) He says some people might make the mistake of associating the author, Tolkien, with "black-masked WTO window-smashers." (By the way, evidence suggests that the window-smashers were actually undercover cops or federal agents.)
He goes on to note that the Hobbits are "property-owning farmers." The Hobbits aren't ordered to undertake their quest; it's a moral choice they freely make. I guess this is supposed to make them Republikaaners, too.
Though there's no overt religion in "Lord of the Rings," the author was allegedly Catholic and allegedly "infused his story with themes of perseverance, loyalty, sacrifice, redemption, mercy and hope. The book has not a molecule of moral relativism in it, and one would be hard-pressed to find any satire, cynicism or irony. It is fantasy that takes itself seriously."
Yep, Republicans have a monopoly on perserverance (at screwing their fellow man), loyalty (to corporations), sacrifice (like hiding in Nebraska), redemption, mercy (yeah, right!) and hope. I saw "Return of the King," and I have to confess I don't recall much moral relativism. After all, they were fighting for their survival against one of the most hideous armies ever assembled on the silver screen. They weren't given much choice but fight to the death.
A moral absolutist himself, Ramsey notes that, "The Marxists and deconstructionists of English Lit may ignore 'Lord of the Rings,' and a few of them denounce it as racist (the marauding Uruk-hai in Peter Jackson's movies have dark skin anddreadlocks), but it remains one of the great stories."
Is "Marxists" a code word for "socialists," a term morally rigid conservatives apply to anyone who champions corporate accountability?
It would be interesting to conduct a survey of "Lord of the Ring's" stars and find out how many of them will be voting for George W. Bush. I suspect most would tell Bruce Ramsey to take his idiocy and stuff it where the sun don't shine - deep in his Middle Earth.
http://seattletimes.nwsource.com/html/opinion/2001845035_rams28.html