Fundys!

[Archae]

This is NOT a slam at all Christians.
Just the fundys, including the ones SOOOO in love with Smirk.

10 - You vigorously deny the existence of thousands of
gods claimed by other religions, but feel outraged when
someone denies the existence of yours.

9 - You feel insulted and "dehumanized" when scientists
say that people evolved from other life forms, but you
have no problem with the Biblical claim that we were
created from dirt.

8 - You laugh at polytheists, but you have no problem
believing in a Triune God.

7 - Your face turns purple when you hear of the
"atrocities" attributed to Allah, but you don't even
flinch when hearing about how God/Jehovah slaughtered all
the babies of Egypt in "Exodus" and ordered the
elimination of entire ethnic groups in "Joshua" --
including women, children, and trees!
(Not to mention killing a guy's entire family, and causing him all kinds of diseases on a bet.)

6 - You laugh at Hindu beliefs that deify humans, and
Greek claims about gods sleeping with women, but you have
no problem believing that the Holy Spirit impregnated
Mary, who then gave birth to a man-god who got killed,
came back to life and then ascended into the sky.

5 - You are willing to spend your life looking for little
loopholes in the scientifically established age of Earth
(4.55 billion years), but you find nothing wrong with
believing dates recorded by Bronze Age tribesmen sitting
in their tents and guessing that Earth is a couple of
generations old.

4 - You believe that the entire population of this planet
with the exception of those who share your beliefs --
though excluding those in all rival sects - will spend
Eternity in an infinite Hell of Suffering. And yet
consider your religion the most "tolerant" and "loving."

3 - While modern science, history, geology, biology, and
physics have failed to convince you otherwise, some idiot
rolling around on the floor speaking in "tongues" may be
all the evidence you need to "prove" Christianity.

2 - You define 0.01% as a "high success rate" when it
comes to answered prayers. You consider that to be
evidence that prayer works. And you think that the
remaining 99.99% FAILURE was simply the will of God.

1 - You actually know a lot less than many atheists and
agnostics do about the Bible, Christianity, and church
history - but still call yourself a Christian.

[ComerPerro]

1. Pretty damning. Now I just have one question:

Who the F#@k do you think you are????

No, just kidding.

The real question: Is this your origional, or is it something from a source?

The reason I need to know: Who do I get sued by when I steal this and pass it off as my own??

That was outstanding!!!!!

;-)

[thebaghwan]

2. Very well put, outstanding work

n/t

[Frank Rose]

3. Great lesson on being open minded, fundies.....

should see this as challenge to get off their high horse. I have felt, for the last 20 years, that the religous right has high jacked my religon, my plan is to take it back.

[rasputin1952]

4. I try to follow the teachings of Jesus...

and I will be the first to say I often fail.

It is often difficult to forgive, just as it is difficult to love ones enemies.

The point is, I try; which is more than most others do.

Pick and Choose fundies represent the mindless morons that infect all religions. I would not be surprised to find out that the stoning of children for minor transgressions would be authorized by some of these nutcases.

What did Jesus teach? Love, Compassion, Forgiveness, taking care of those that are in need; and especially, avoiding hypocrisy.

There is more, but that is the basis of the Christian Theology. If it were up to the Pat Robertson's/Jerry Falwell's and a host of other mindless cretins; we'd be tossing virgins into volcanoes and kicking the teeth out of the homeless,just to make sure they couldn't eat.

A helping hand far outweighs a slap in the face.

O8)

More coffee........I need more coffee!

[Az]

5. As I understand it

you are expected to fail. But at least you try.

I think the thing that garners the fundie label more than anything else is the hypocracy that seems to be present in some believers. I have debated numerous theists and many of them are open minded and willing to examine their own beliefs. They will also correct themself if they are made aware of a failing (or at least attempt to). The "fundies" I have encountered seem to have their own vision of what it is they want to believe. When challenged with what may have actually been intended in the original doctrine they typically go into denial and refuse to listen. Thus it seems that their religious belief is not so much a tenent of faith but instead is a weapon to amplify their own predjudices and hatreds.

[Bluerthanblue]

10. oh, i so agree

and i can't help but think that more tears are
shed in heaven over what is said and done
in the name of Jesus-
when the true motivation is anything BUT-

How many people did Jesus kill in his walk here on earth? How many did he encourage us to kill?

Religion, and true faith, are often (not always) oxymorons.

i need more than coffee today-

[truthspeaker]

6. nice post, but prepare to be flamed

Even though you explicitly excluded the vast majority of Christians in your first sentence, I predict that in less than 12 hours you will be accused of "bashing" Christianity and alienating Christians from the Democratic Party.

[MountainLaurel]

7. Well said!

Do you have a source, or can I plagiarize freely? :thumbsup:

[EV1Ltimm]

8. my buddy jesus told me to refute your points

10 - You vigorously deny the existence of thousands of
gods claimed by other religions, but feel outraged when
someone denies the existence of yours.

A: Yeah, well, Jeff the God of Biscuits doesn't have his own book, but God does! Ever heard of The Bible? Helloooooo

9 - You feel insulted and "dehumanized" when scientists
say that people evolved from other life forms, but you
have no problem with the Biblical claim that we were
created from dirt.

A: Dirt doesn't throw it's own poo!

8 - You laugh at polytheists, but you have no problem
believing in a Triune God.

A: That's different. God is like Voltron... he's made up of different pieces that combine to create a massive, sword-wielding furious death machine.

7 - Your face turns purple when you hear of the
"atrocities" attributed to Allah, but you don't even
flinch when hearing about how God/Jehovah slaughtered all
the babies of Egypt in "Exodus" and ordered the
elimination of entire ethnic groups in "Joshua" --
including women, children, and trees!
(Not to mention killing a guy's entire family, and causing him all kinds of diseases on a bet.)

A: Well, it's a well documented fact that the 1st born sons of egypt were all mildly-retarded. Egypt's net IQ figures went up substantially thanks to god.

6 - You laugh at Hindu beliefs that deify humans, and
Greek claims about gods sleeping with women, but you have
no problem believing that the Holy Spirit impregnated
Mary, who then gave birth to a man-god who got killed,
came back to life and then ascended into the sky.

A: The holy spirit didn't impregnate her, it just made her pop out a baby -- much like a biological pez dispenser. Zeus turned into a swan and created that heathen perseus, now that's gross. Would you make out with a swan?! Not me! At least not before marriage!

5 - You are willing to spend your life looking for little
loopholes in the scientifically established age of Earth
(4.55 billion years), but you find nothing wrong with
believing dates recorded by Bronze Age tribesmen sitting
in their tents and guessing that Earth is a couple of
generations old.

A: The earth is only 5000 years old. And it was also created on a monday in march. 15th century scholars determined this. It's irrefutable.

4 - You believe that the entire population of this planet
with the exception of those who share your beliefs --
though excluding those in all rival sects - will spend
Eternity in an infinite Hell of Suffering. And yet
consider your religion the most "tolerant" and "loving."

A: Well, they had a chance to join up with Jesus, but they'd rather sanctify cows or praise a portly philantropist. Their loss. More milk and honey for me! yum!

3 - While modern science, history, geology, biology, and
physics have failed to convince you otherwise, some idiot
rolling around on the floor speaking in "tongues" may be
all the evidence you need to "prove" Christianity.

A: We have physics too: (Convulsions^2/Body Mass) * Holy Spirit = Jesus!

2 - You define 0.01% as a "high success rate" when it
comes to answered prayers. You consider that to be
evidence that prayer works. And you think that the
remaining 99.99% FAILURE was simply the will of God.

A: Well, that .01% of answered prayers go to Ken Lay and other Enron executives. And you can you deprive these social and economical leaders of their prayers for a not-guilty?

1 - You actually know a lot less than many atheists and
agnostics do about the Bible, Christianity, and church
history - but still call yourself a Christian.

A: In Jesus' name i revoke that statement!

</silliness>

I don't want to offend anybody, i was just feeling silly :)

[Az]

9. Just had to reply to one

A: Dirt doesn't throw it's own poo!
Dirt is mostly poo.

[EV1Ltimm]

11. alright, you got me.

:)

[asthmaticeog]

19. Jeff the God of Biscuits

Um, is that an Eddie Izzard line? Sure sounds like him, if not.

[EV1Ltimm]

21. it is! good catch!

here's a cookie.

[Solomon]

12. Bravo. My family has gone fundy and they don't even know

it. That's what's frustrating to me. Didn't happen until Bush's war on terror. Before that they were reasonable "christians". They switched churches and I pointed out to them that their new pastor brags that he is fundamentalist and my father said to me, I don't know what that is.

Had several very bad arguments with them at easter and thanksgiving, now we just don't talk about it. Arguments started with their statement that muslims are going to hell because they don't have a savior. I got back at them by telling them that they, the muslims and the jewish religions all essentially worship the same god. All three religions come from abraham. The hatred in their eyes was palpable.

There's a certain segment of the christian population that is clearly going backwards. This is no slur but I've noticed a difference between those who have gone to college and those who haven't. Of course my parents and family members have been nowhere near college.
When I see a college graduate, however, who spouts that there are no errors in the bible, I wonder what the hell they did in college.

We are living in a time of fear, and for a lot of people, they think that going back to the cocoon's of past beliefs will save them.

[9215]

13. Plus: Divorce rate higher among born-agains than people of no-faith.

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=show_mesg&forum=104&topic_id=751130&mesg_id=751130

[Az]

14. Always got a kick out of that stat, here is another one though

Taken from federal beureau of prisons here is the break down of stated religion of the inmates.

Catholic 29267 39.164%
Protestant 26162 35.008%
Muslim 5435 7.273%
American Indian 2408 3.222%
Nation 1734 2.320%
Rasta 1485 1.987%
Jewish 1325 1.773%
Church of Christ 1303 1.744%
Pentecostal 1093 1.463%
Moorish 1066 1.426%
Buddhist 882 1.180%
Jehovah Witness 665 0.890%
Adventist 621 0.831%
Orthodox 375 0.502%
Mormon 298 0.399%
Scientology 190 0.254%
Atheist 156 0.209%
Hindu 119 0.159%
Santeria 117 0.157%
Sikh 14 0.019%
Bahai 9 0.012%
Krishna 7 0.009%


Keep in mind that atheists/nontheists make up between 10%-20% of the US population. Now compare relative populations in prison. So much for nontheists being immoral. Or maybe its just our connections that keep us from getting thrown in jail.

[BiggJawn]

15. We cast Pagan spells on the juries to get acquitted...

Didn't you get the memo?

[ThoughtCriminal]

22. Just wondering

"Church of Christ" is seperate fom "Protestant"?

Is there a link to this on-line?

[Lars39]

23. Church of Christ,

do not believe that they are a denomination. They believe that they are the one true "body of christ".

[truthspeaker]

16. BTW proper spelling is "fundies"; "pharisees and money-changers" also work

[Cleita]

17. So true and so clever.

Claps hands for Archae. :thumbsup:

[Az]

18. Alternates to fundie

Way back in the day when I debated in AOL forums we ran across AOLs supersecret TOS. This was a nonexistant list of words that AOL would ban someone for using. It seems the moderator of the arena in which the atheists were allowed to debate our issues was a baptist member of the clergy. He took umbrage to the use of the word fundie. So to placate AOL's censor/scan we used the second half of the word Fundimental from which fundie was derived. It seems no one caught on for a while we were calling them mental.

On a similar story the Woman's Breast Cancer group was hit by the TOS issue banning the use of the word Breast.

[Kathy in Cambridge]

20. And I thought the Catholics were bad!

We're liberal and moral compared to these bozos!

[camero]

24. You would be better off

Going after the fundie's hypocracy and immorality than nitpicking the belief. Fundies very seldom follow their own rules as other posters have pointed out.

The church has been corrupted so much that people see it as a religion of the rich and not for the poor as it was really meant to be. It's why I don't go to any church anymore though I am very much into Jesus' teachings. Especially the power in self-sacrifice.

[mike1963]

25. As an atheist, I have absolutely no quarrel with the putative teachings of

Jesus (if he actually existed...another discussion), what passes for prideful "christianity" these days relies on the ravings of a nutcase
who fell off a donkey on the road to Damascus. Saul, the terrorist of Tarsus never even met (according to the redacted legends) the icon of the christian faith. It's all hearsay and the chain of evidence is about as robust as an overcooked noodle.

[camero]

26. I'm just saying

If his intent was not to offend Christians than that would have been a better way to go. I'm not gonna get drawn into a pissing contest over the idiosyncracies of ancient history. That's for you to decide and not push your beliefs on me. Got it?

[rasputin1952]

27. This thread has gotten quite a bit larger over time...

and after reading the previous posts, I have decided to risk a flaming by Opening up some Fundie fallacies.

If there were just Adam and Eve, Cain and Abel; Cain kills Abel; why am I here? The blood line was lost, we do not exist. Taken further, God asks Cain where is Abel? (As if God wouldn't know), and sends Cain off to marry and build cities. Who is Cain to marry, and why does he need a city, much less cities?

Why is there no mention of dinosaurs in the Bible? They ruled the earth for millions of years, yet no mention of the beasts? Killed in the Flood? Which brings to mind the notion of where all of that water went that covered the earth? It had to go somewhere, else-wise we wold all be living on rafts, (that is if Cain found a wife).

I would also propose that the several hundred words spoken by Jesus that are recorded in the NT, are not all that Jesus ever spoke. I am sure he had many conversations with innumerable people about all kinds of things. What we are left with are important, but not everything is discussed.

Another thing about Jesus that terrifies the fundies, is that the first person he showed himself to after the resurrection, was Mary Magdalene. This places woman as an equal to men of the time, something virtually unheard of at that time. If you want to insult a fundie, that is a sure-fire way to do it, Mary got the first glimpse of a resurrected Jesus, she was special, perhaps she had the message down better than others. In fact, the Eleven remaining Disciples, (Judas is out of the picture at this point), seemed to be a somewhat dim bunch of bulbs until filled with the Spirit, and found the courage to preach what they had been taught. These men had seen, close up, what Jesus could do, yet they still had incredible doubt. Mary never seemed to have that doubt, she had strength far beyond what the common woman of the day had.

OK....I'll turn off the theoretical/theocratic machine.

Point is, the Bible is a Book, a basically good Book, but not all of the answers are there; that is why we are told to "seek and you will find".

O8)