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(what follows is satire)
As congressional leaders called on Preznit Dubya to halt his sham of an inquiry and support the formation of a truly independent review of intelligence gathering operations, we here at the Daily Dirt can't shake this nagging question: Which intelligence gathering operations are they talking about? American intelligence gathering operations on Iraq? Or Republican intelligence gathering operations on Democrats? "Inquiry"-ing minds want to know.
And speaking of the ongoing Senate investigation into the Republican hacking of key Democratic Party servers, yer old pal Jerky decided to pay a visit to Senate Majority leader Bill Frist's office last week, to ask him a few questions. After cornering him in a third-floor bathroom, the following exchange took place:
"Senator Frist! Jerky LeBoeuf from the Daily Dirt with some questions I'd like to ask you. First, what's the deal with you and Orrin Hatch getting your staffers to spy on your Democratic colleagues' computers? Aren't you and him supposed to be, like, super-ethical mega-Christians or something? And doesn't Jesus hate cheaters? My second question is a two-parter: Have you ever been to jail before? If not, are you looking forward to it?"
His response was as follows:
"I... Um... UH-OH! Is that? Yes, I think it is! I smell RICIN!!! There's Ricin in the mailroom, people!!! It's a TERRORIST ATTACK!!! Evacuate the building in which my evidence-filled office is located IMMEDIATELY, and for God's sake, SOMEBODY WAKE THE PREZNIT!!!"
Nice one, Bill. But we're on to you fuckers.
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