Wacky Creationist Site

[StClone]

This is not a parody site!

However if you need some faith reaffirmation I suggest you go see something more uplifting and accurate like Mel's "Passion".

If anything you'll be questioning their sanity rather than if you are right with Jesus. I don't intend to poke fun at Religion, they do that in a most comedic sophistic way.

-------------------------------------------------------

Some samples for the Kidz:


"Hopsiah the Kanga-Jew knows history because his family lived it!

Hopsiah lives in the Middle East, where his ancestors and those of all the other animals and humans alive today exited Noah's Ark 4,000 years ago.

But unlike the other Kangaroos who hopped to Australia, Hopsiah's family stayed behind to witness the coming of the Messiah!"


*********************** OR ***************************


"If you find an Atheist in your neighborhood,
TELL A PARENT OR PASTOR RIGHT AWAY!

You may be moved to try and witness to
these poor lost souls yourself, however
AVOID TALKING TO THEM!

Atheists are often very grumpy and bitter and will lash out at children or they may even try to trick you into neglecting God's Word.

Very advanced witnessing techniques are needed for these grouches. Let the adults handle them."

----------------------------------------------------

Go to

Kids:

http://objective.jesussave.us/kidz.html

main site:

http://objective.jesussave.us/index.html

[The Whiskey Priest]

1. Religion doth make us

Captives of our imagination.

[Kolesar]

2. I saw this site months ago

I think it is satire. I sent it to an athiest buddy who thought it was real at first.

Hey Habu! What a sad face.

[ithacan]

3. ummmmm.

http://objective.jesussave.us/kidz.html

Habu's Corner

Hey, Habu...
How many gods do you have? <image of elephant wearing a sari>

"I don't know, I lost count"

Wouldn't you rather have just one God who loves you a bunch than a bunch of gods that don't love you at all?

Jesus loves everybody, even the unsaved like Habu! Remember to pray for Habu and others like him that they may find Jesus and accept Him into their hearts!
-----------------

I hate to burst the bubble, but...

[Monkey see Monkey Do]

4. Are you SURE they're not a parody site!

This is just genius!

On Apple Mac's:

"However, these propagandists aren't just targeting the young. Take for example Apple Computers, makers of the popular Macintosh line of computers. The real operating system hiding under the newest version of the Macintosh operating system (MacOS X) is called... Darwin! That's right, new Macs are based on Darwinism! While they currently don't advertise this fact to consumers, it is well known among the computer elite, who are mostly Atheists and Pagans. Furthermore, the Darwin OS is released under an "Open Source" license, which is just another name for Communism. They try to hide all of this under a facade of shiny, "lickable" buttons, but the truth has finally come out: Apple Computers promote Godless Darwinism and Communism.

But is this really such a shock? Lets look for a moment at Apple Computers. Founded by long haired hippies, this company has consistently supported 60's counter-cultural "values". But there are even darker undertones to this company than most are aware of. Consider the name of the company and its logo: an apple with a bite taken out of it. This is clearly a reference to the Fall, when Adam and Eve were tempted with an apple3 by the serpent. It is now Apple Computers offering us temptation, thereby aligning themselves with the forces of darkness.

This company is well known for its cult-like following. It isn't much of a stretch to say that it is a cult. Consider co-founder and leader Steve Jobs' constant exhortation through advertising (i.e. mind control) that its followers should "think different". We have to ask ourselves: "think different than whom or what?" The disturbing answer is that they want us to think different than our Christian upbringing, to reject all the values that we have been taught and to heed not the message of the Lord Jesus Christ!

Given the now obvious anti-Christian and cultish nature of Apple Computers, is it any wonder that they have decided to base their newest operating system on Darwinism? This just reaffirms the position that Darwinism is an inherently anti-Christian philosophy spread through propaganda and subliminal trickery, not a science as its brainwashed followers would have us believe."

http://objective.jesussave.us/propaganda.html

[depakid]

23. That's hilarious!

Gotta be a parody site... though if it's not, and they knew what the real meaning behind the apple logo is, they'd even more of a field day.

(The logo is a tribute to Alan Turing, the genius on whose work all modern computer software is based. Turing was gay, and although he probably did more to save Britain from the Nazi's than anyone- by cracking enigma- he was prosecuted, forced to take estrogen shots to kill his libido and not long thereafter committed suicide with a cyanide laced apple which, partially eaten, lay beside his bed).

[DarkPhenyx]

5. Just from reading the few bits here...

...I really want to go see this site, but I know it'll just piss me off even more.

<on edit>

OK, I looked. Didn't get far and I found this piece of amusement.

[Gung_Fu]

12. Actually the kids...

site is really, really funny.

[ironflange]

14. God can't be his running mate

He wasn't born in the USA.

[ithacan]

20. JESUS WAS AN AMERICAN!!!!!

and don't you forget it!!!!

[ironflange]

33. OK, OK, you're right

(backs away slowly, keeping eye contact)

[DemoVet]

6. Must-read article on a dinosaur-finding expedition...

Their guide, get this, is named "Nigel Stubbingwicke". At the end of the story he turns out to be an EVOLUTIONIST!! Possibly an agent of the SMITHSONIAN!! Horrors! Oh, sorry, I gave the ending away....
http://objective.jesussave.us/dinoexpedition.html
OBJECTIVE: Creation Education: Dinosaur Expedition 2002
Okay, it gets better...I did a web search for "Nigel Stubbingwicke" and came up with....Nigel Stubbingwicke! In this page (Click on "facts") he refutes the allegations made against him by "Dr." Paley.
http://members.lycos.co.uk/stubbingwicke/
Nigel Stubbingwicke: Hunter For Hire

[BradCKY]

7. LOL

Its a parody site, I loved the part that said "dinosaur's still exist". LOL

[Aussie_Hillbilly]

9. Not a parody

I once shared a house with a Born-Again, and the "dinosaurs still exist" line is used in their magazines. "God put them there to test your faith" is another. These people do not inhabit the same reality as everyone else. That (public) site is pretty tame compared to what they put in their magazines (read only by "the faithful").

<shudder>

Trust me, they are for real. Keep in mind, even here in secular Australia most people still believe God made the world in 7 days. Its a nice snappy soundbite compared to the many volumes you would need to read to understand evolution and physics.

[mike1963]

32. Heehee, you're in Oz, I bet you know of Laurie Appleton........

:D
Welcome to DU!
:toast:

[prodigal_green]

8. I'm pretty sure this is real

And very very frightening...

http://objective.jesussave.us/halloween.html

Do NOT let your children eat candy that has been unwrapped and tampered with by ANYBODY.

[DemoVet]

10. I dunno...

This site really had me going, but it appears that it might be a hoax, although an extremely well-done one. There's no address, which you'd expect to see, and some of the stuff is just a little beyond even the most fundie stuff I've ever seen, although I'm sure I haven't seen the wackiest of it yet. If it's parody, it has to be the neatest I've seen so far (you have to check out the pictures of the church staff, if they don't look fundie as all get-out I don't know who does). I love Landover Baptist and Betty Bowers and could see how that site would get a real Baptist Churches' knickers in a knot. If this is parody, it takes it a few steps beyond that though....

[LoZoccolo]

11. Someone on another site claims it's a hoax and gives evidence.

Ok folks. Take a look at the "bios" file. Copy one or two of the pictures (notice how they are small, and not clickable, and in no case lead to a webiste where other pictures of the person are available)...and once you have them blow them up to 4 times normal size. There you will observe nice use of a technique called "blur tool compositing". I rest my case.

http://www.arn.org/cgi-bin/ubb/ultimatebb.cgi?ubb=get_topic;f=13;t=000572;p=

Of course, I'm not a graphic designer or Photoshop expert so I really don't know what they are talking about or why it proves anything, but it sounds good to me.

(You've gotta remove the gap between "get_topic" and the semicolon to get this link to work.)

[knight_of_the_star]

13. Here's a fun one

And parents, don't forget to visit our store
for fun Lambuel & friends merchandise
that your (and your neighbor's) kids will love!

Not so faithful are they? I thought that true preachers didn't NEED to make a profit and could survive and spread the word off of simple charity.

[neebob]

15. The kangaroos hopped all the way from the Middle East to Australia?!

How'd they do that - 4,000 years ago, I mean? Maybe they flew on the backs of pteradactyls.

[gator_in_Ontario]

22. The question is...

were the pteradactyls capable of carrying such weight? What is the payload capacity of a pteradactyl? Air speed? Clearly this premise has not been reasoned out...;-)

[DrWeird]

29. These were African pteradactyls.

nt

[ironflange]

34. European?

[DemoVet]

30. Is that an African pterodactyl or an Asian pterodactyl?

[Victimerican]

36. It would have to be an Asian pterodactyl...

African pterodactyls are non-migratory. So they couldn't bring back a kangaroo anyway.

[Gung_Fu]

16. Ok this isn't happening...

there is no way this is real. I mean Habu, someone could be really offended by that. Plus some of the stuff in there, we don't live in the dark ages any more.

But if that is real, well then slap me silly and call me Habu.

[DarkPhenyx]

18. Offending someone...

...isn't high on thier list of concerns. They are right. You are wrong. If you are offended tough shit. Convert. Be saved. Then you won't be offended anymore.

[struggle4progress]

17. Check out the flag page ...

and also the "Close Down Landover Baptist" page

[DarkPhenyx]

19. Seperationist ammunition.

It cannot be emphasized too strongly or too often that this great nation was founded, not by religionists but by Christians, not on religions, but on the gospel of Jesus Christ.

I lifted the above quote from the site and pumped it through good 'ole google. Came up with this site.

http://members.tripod.com/~candst/tnppage/misqidx.htm

I particularly like this section.

http://members.tripod.com/~candst/tnppage/misq2.htm

Know the tactics of your enemy and now the truth to counteract them.

[baldguy]

21. Isn't "Wacky Creationist" sort of redundant?

[depakid]

24. Check out Professor Giraffenstein

and his little buddy "pepper the moth."

Do the interactive quiz and watch the professor's eyes when he mentions that Cain married one of his sisters.

Someone's playing games with the fundies....

[Walt Starr]

25. It's a parody site

Same folks who do Landover do this one.

[Bertha Venation]

26. Yep.

Check some of the links; they go to known satire sites.

[namvet73]

27. Parody or Not

Opinions seem to be somewhat split. However, whether that site is a parody or not, one can rest assured that a percentage of people will take it seriously.

I remember being taught lots of nonsense as a child and believing it and being fearful of it. By the time I was in my teens, I began to use my head and began to believe what made sense to me.

By the time I was 27 I had completely left the faith and it is now alien to me. Some aren't so lucky.

I belief in some of that to be dangerous, because people have relinquished control of their rational mind and turned it over to someone else, possibly with ulterior motives.

But then, most of us understand this and I'm probably preaching to the choir.

[struggle4progress]

28. Not parody but still tongue-in-cheek

This site is a very pointed Christian criticism of what too often passes for "Christianity". It's too well done!

[MAlibdem]

31. This is my favorite picture

I think this kid took the metaphor a little too literally, Jesus is DROWNING!

[ironflange]

35. Ya know, I thought these nice folks were on the level

But I've just changed my mind, Some of the things on that site, like the "God" flag or the creation science trip to Africa, are just too far out there to be anything but a prank.