|
to no avail. I work my ass off for my boss for three years, and he pulls the rug out from under me today because he wants to bring in his old legal secretary full-time and make me part-time focusing on just paralegal work, of which there's very little of in his real estate firm (I was trained as a paralegal, not a secretary, and my secretarial skills are, admittedly, weak, and I hate it, to boot, that's not where my abilities and training are).
I was off work for almost a year before I got this job with him (he attends my church and needed a secretary when his old one had a baby and didn't want to come back), and it was a hell that I simply cannot, WILL NOT repeat, no money at all, my broke parents breathing down my neck 24/7, unable to get the kid anything at all he needed, no child support, the goddamned fucking debt collectrolls harassing me all the time for money I didn't have when they made money off of the misery and misfortune of people like me, bills up to here and no way to pay for them, my hard-won credit going down the tubes, no health insurance for me or the kid, sending out five million resumes a week and applying for a million jobs a week and NOT GETTING A SINGLE FUCKING CALL FOR INTERVIEWS, NOT ONE, when I have a bachelor's AND a paralegal certificate, so what the fuck to do these people want, anyway, the only calls coming from the inhuman debt collectrolls who didn't care that I had no money at all.
And I didn't have a car payment then, now I do and I can just see them taking the fucking car and not having any way at all to get another one. I CANNOT GO THROUGH THAT AGAIN, I CANNOT! I'd rather just pick up gun or take a bottle of sleeping pills than deal with that shit again.
I'm not married, I don't have the luxury of at least having a husband to help, I live with parents who are as broke as I am and who are breathing down my neck for more money NOW when I have a job!
And I'm sick and fucking tired of always being happy for others when things never seem to happen to me, no matter WHAT the fuck I do. Maybe if I guzzled down a bottle of white zinfandel I'd probably feel a bit better.
|