OKAY! I've HAD IT! DU Traditionalists (if there are any) I'm Venting!

[KoKo]

I think there are many on DU who "come from where I come from" who may have had bad marriages, personal experiences whatever....and I think we've always "shared a dialog" even when we have disagreed....but the political infighting over Gay Rights, and Religious Rights and Political Candidates is causing us to do the inevitable "Eat your Own" for Dems here on DU. I hope that this won't be seen a trash of a fellow DU'er....but as a dialog of what a fellow and many DU'ers are feeling today...Tahit is a visionary in his post......but it needs to be discussed I think,... or maybe not.........I'm not trashing a fellow poste here.....but replying to many posts on threads today on DU about "Tradition.....Marriage.......and otherwise."

Tahiti Nut, posted a thread which set me off. I think Tahiti is one of DU's most interesting posters and love his academic thoughts and his sometime "clear insights." But, lately Tahiti and many others have gotten me annoyed. Since this is a General Discussion Forum I am going to post a reply I just posted on Tahit'i's thread......because I think it's important:


Here is a copy of my reply to Tahiti....

ere's my post: I've tried to fix typo's in edit.....but frankly I'm so pissed that I may have missed a few./so sorry...about that.
In reply to Tahiti's post here in GD about "Marriage and Property Rights........." I Have been married over 25 years......is the SUBJECT Line of my post to Tahiti.......so start from there:

you don't believe in "Romatic Love and Marriage" because your life has been soured by bad experiences. I
have many friends who feel like you.....but you know what! I'm kind of sick of hearing this. I'm okay and
have been in a "romantic and wonderful" relationship for 25 years and more......

yeah....we've had lots of trials and tribulations and arguments and disagreements.....but we are romantic
and we believe in religious vows and and .......hey......yeah! to you cynics.......we "GOT LUCKY."

But, your's and others trashing of "Religious marriages" and people who manage to stay together because
they love each other through "thick and thin" and even fighting "evil relatives" and "kid problems" is really
wearing a little thin on me these days.

I think you are a very interesting and challenging "intellectual poster".....who brings wonderful "academic
style" to DU.......but lately you sound like a bitter harpie......who is sitting in your "Ivory Tower" pronouncing
on DU'ers who have really good relationships but are here "FIGHTING LIKE HELL to GET BUSH OUT!"

I'm sort of sick of this trashing of us "Traditionalists" by some DU'ers who think somehow if one has a great,
stable, committed relationship with romance and love and commitment........that we don't belong on DU.

BTW: You wouldn't want to know the angst we've had in our own lives, my husband and I, because that
might make you all think that your pain might be shared by others but that we chose a different way than
the " Anger and Bitterness, and Spite" I see by DU'ers who don't have "committed relationships" or those
"relationships have gone sour" and they now want to trash those of us who do.......no matter that we have
had some really bad stuff "go down" in our own lives that you don't even want to know about.

[Iverson]

1. be calm

Take a piece of advice from someone whose 22nd anniversary is this month: be calm.

If you are unhappy about the tone when others here write about marriage, just post one note that says you're Green, and wait for the real condescencion and insult to begin.

Cheers.

[KoKo]

2. ROFL! Isn't that the truth! But, things have been quiet on that end.....

for a few days, .......Yes.....so the other stuff has come in.......

:-)'s Thanks for the perspective.........

[KoKo]

3. BTW.......either "Alert Buttons or Being Pushed" or "Snooze/Ignore on this

One!" LOL's It's too serious..and contentious for the" mainstream." Or......maybe there are only a handful of us.....here!

[Maeve]

4. Only 25 years? Pshaw!

:P 27 and counting here...to an agnostic who puts up with my Catholic ways and also thinks we were destined to be together (altho he's not sure who or WHAT made that decision!)

I agree that we don't need to be liberated from one set of "supposed to's" only to strap on another. Let's try to recognize that there are a variety of paths to get to the same place, all depending on where you start out. And the place we're headed is Shrub-less, with liberty and justice for all.

[rumguy]

5. From a single, young male

more power to ya if you can hold together a marriage in this crazy world...congrats

[KoKo]

7. Commitment....and luck...and finding a "friend" who will share this crap..

that's my only "pearls of wisdom." Friends make good marriages.....but only with commitment....and the sexual part becomes it all.......it changes...

But, most people expect MTV Vacation in a marriage..........(not DU'ers....but many) It's WORK.....but friendship.....and sharing and luck and compromise.


But then......I don't want to give advice.......to each his/her own.....

[rasputin1952]

6. One of the things that makes DU such a great site...

is the diversity of the people here. Since there is such a diverstiy, it stands to reason that many views will get many responses. From what I have seen here on DU, those responses generally show a sense of respect as well as frivolity.

At one time or another, virtually everyone here has been flamed. I wear my scorch marks with pride, it shows me just how volatile our population is.

I am a progressive liberal, but I have some traditional thoughts as well. I believe in defending our country, but I certainly don't believe we should be in pre-emptive wars. I believe in those who hold the sanctity of marriage in high esteem, but I also realize that some of these marriages are fractile, and will be disolved.

There should not be any reason why individuals get flamed, unless they are posting something to the effect of disruption; i.e., condone child molestation, torture, rape, physical or mental harm, etc.

This is a board of ideas, entertainment, and just plain ranting, among other things. Some posters do have a condescending attiude in some of the threads. I feel that they generally are disgruntled for any of a number of reasons. I read many of the posts, but if those posts become a little 'hot', I have the opportunity to answer, or pass them by.

Many topics and many of the posts have been skipped by me, and I'm sure by many others. I have little problem with those that vent; in fact, I have a larger problem with those that don't answer a post, when they feel they should. It seems to me that answers to problems may well be with those that don't post their views.

These are, by far, the finest people I've never met; and I truly hope that all here, will feel free to discuss what is on their minds. I would hope that no one gets offended, but I know this is wishful thinking. Just as in any other family, there will be squabbles; but there is plenty of room for all.

:kick:

[KoKo]

8. Nice post Rasputin........good to see........and agree...this is a great

site....but every once in awhile it goes through "imbalances." LOL's :-)'s

[newyawker99]

9. I am locking this thread.

From the rules:

Do not "stalk" another member from one discussion thread to another. Do not follow someone into another thread to try to continue a disagreement you had elsewhere. Do not talk negatively about an individual in a thread where they are not participating. Do not start a new discussion thread with the purpose of "calling out" another member or picking a fight with another member. Do not use your signature line to draw negative attention to another member of the board.


http://www.democraticunderground.com/forums/rules.html#civility

You may repost this thread without mentioning other DU members.

NYer99
DU Moderator