Top 10 Things You Would Like To See On The News:

[Generic Other]

Seems the media is complaining it's a slow news season. Viewers are burned out. Well, here's some stories I'd like to see. How about you?

Top 10 Things I Would Like To See On The News:

Katherine Harris and Supreme Court 5 apologize to American voters.

Donald Rumsfeld bites Colin Powell's ear in power squabble.

Jeb Bush arrested for forging oxycontin perscriptions.

Dick Cheney's new experimental pig to human heart transplant incites riot in Baghdad.

Arnold Schwarzenegger implicated in the Laci Peterson murder case.


Come on DUers! What do you want to see?

[graphixtech]

1. absolute FRONT page

(in a different reality)

"THE EARTH IS QUICKLY MELTING; REPUBLICANS CONTINUE CALL FOR VOLUNTARY MEASURES.
DEMOCRATS CALL ON IMMEDIATE ALTERNATIVE ENERGY"

"CONGRESS VOTED ON PACK OF IRAQ LIES;
DEMOCRATS INSIST THAT ALL TROOPS WILL BE PULLED HOME BEFORE THANKSGIVING"

"REPUBLICANS SEEK TO DESTROY ALL GOVERNMENT SOCIAL ASSISTANCE. DEMOCRATS HALT."

"CORRUPT TOUCH SCREEN VOTING TO BE IMMEDIATELY REPLACED BY VERIFIABLE AUDIT, COUNTING ELECTION SYSTEMS"

"REPUBLICANS MOVE TO CORPORATIZE ALL WATER, FOOD, CLEAN AIR. DEMOCRATS HALT ALL ATTEMPTS"

"PATRIOT ACT DECLARED UNCONSTITUTIONAL AND FEDERALLY RESCINDED"

and perhaps the hugest pipedream of all:
"For the Best Interest of America, the MEDIA Pledges to Report the TRUTH."


Absolute FRONT PAGE, no more media complicity! Sick of pathetic token, breadcrumb quips mentioned on page A-21.

(you asked what we "wanted" to see)

[meow2u3]

18. Yet another pipedream....

Bush outed as fraud. Supreme Court declares ouster, Gore takes proper place as President.

Tom DeLay found guilty of extortion and racketeering. Expulsion hearing underway in House Ethics Committee

John Ashcroft impeached and removed from his post for gross mental incompetence. Committed to mental hospital.

...and one which may be going on as we speak....

Al-Qaeda planning to choose 2004 President, send hackers to infiltrate Diebold and ES&S to rig the vote.

[AWD]

2. Democratic takeover of the House/Senate/WH

...with a nice long camera shot of me on the House floor with my newly elected Majority leader, Nancy Pelosi.

[GAspnes]

3. Oh, a dream thread. I love these

"Congress resigns en mass, Governors to appoint all-DFL replacements."

"Bush says, 'We really screwed them with Enron didn't we' on an open mic"

"Dick Cheney's pacemaker to be recalled"

"Saddam captured, admits 'Never had weapons of mass destruction'"

"Tony Blair ousted in surprise no-confidence vote"

"National CEOs meeting orders reduction in pay by 90% to executives"

"Ken Lay caught selling crack in Houston"

"Wellstone and family found alive in Brainerd fish house"

[freeforall]

4. Bush Impeached!!! n/t

[JVS]

5. and eaten

[laura888]

13. that's a beautiful headline! n/t

n/t

[mitchum]

6. New film shot by Zapruder's grandkid

[Shanty Oilish]

7. Atlantis up, Bush down.

Life on Mars discovered.
They're finally going to open that little door up in the Great Pyramid shaft.
Intelligent radio signals have come in from another galaxy.
Lost play of Shakespeare found.
Minoan language deciphered.
Gore back in.

[wellst0nev0ter]

8. No. One? Actual News

eom

[donco6]

9. Headlines I'd Like to See

Marilyn Musgrave Ruled Insane; Involuntarily Committed to State Funded Asylum (i.e., Hellhole)

Bush Captured After Year-Long Flight; Held in the Hague for War Crimes Trial

Tests Confirm: Gays Are Human; Full Rights Extended

Fundamentalist Christians/Jews/Muslims Vanish in Rapture; World Rejoices

Jesus Returns; Gets Makeover on "Queer Eye for the Straight Guy"
*"He looks great" fans rave.*

U.S. Capitulates War on Drugs; Opens Prisons
*Empty Cells Filled with Enron Execs*

SUV Ban Leads to Best Air Quality in a Century; Americans Breathe Easy
*Suzy Soccermom Sez "Ours Makes a Great Storage Shed!"*

Bush Government Admits to 'Endless String of Lies'
*Rumsfeld: I Just Couldn't Tell One More Fib!*

Schools Report: Stop It Already! We've Got Enough Money!
*Record High Test Scores Reported*

[Bushknew]

10. What ever happened to all those ENRON scumbags?

I have no idea if anyone went to jail or not.

I wish they would give that the same attention they give Kobe and Lacey Peterson.

[Kelvin Mace]

11. George Bush's head

on a pike in front of the U.N.

David

[graphixtech]

12. boink

for a fun idea.

[rman]

14. all the insiders/whistleblowers telling their stories

.

[Loonman]

15. Kenny Boy and Mrs. Lay

Dumpster diving for a meal.

[FlaGranny]

16. Just one thing, actually,

and it is NOT a story. The only thing I would like is real news that is actually IMPORTANT. If we only had that, all the stories we'd like to see would fall into place like magic.

[KayLaw]

17. I agree

And I'd like to hear the simple truth that has been run by fact checkers.

[opihimoimoi]

19. Sanity and Reason returns from exile

:bounce: