Possible letter

[ChickMagic]

I'm thinking of sending this letter to the Dallas Morning News. I would appreciate any and all constructive criticism. Here goes:

An open letter to reporters

Do my eyes deceive me? Has the media shaken off its honeymoon cloak and witnessed the world as it really is? The recent admission by Judith Miller of the New York Times stating that the media didn’t do their job before the war in Iraq seems to have rattled some cages.

What the media needs to understand is this: Our entire administration is one party rule. The executive, judicial, and legislative branches are completely under the control of the extremist right wing. I understand that the media has no desire to be cut off by the White House but they have been derelict in their duty. You all need to be careful or your job will be a copy of Winston’s in George Orwell’s 1984. Do you really want to sit around and clip out bits of truth only to shove them down the memory hole?

The only safeguard we unwashed citizens have against tyranny is a free press. You are supposed to be the watchdogs and you’ve been behaving like lapdogs. With scandals breaking nearly daily, we need information in order to be informed voters. The White House can blackball a single reporter, but they can’t blackball everyone. Get to work! All of you!

[LynzM]

1. Not bad, but I'd rephrase:

This: "The recent admission by Judith Miller of the New York Times stating that the media didn’t do their job before the war in Iraq seems to have rattled some cages."

Maybe more like:

The recent admission by Judith Miller of the New York Times (that the media didn’t do their job before the war in Iraq) seems to have rattled some cages.

or

The recent admission by Judith Miller of the New York Times, that the media didn’t do their job before the war in Iraq, seems to have rattled some cages.

or

Judith Miller (of the New York Times) recently stated that the media didn't do their job before the war in Iraq. This certainly seems to have rattled some cages.



Any one of these makes it a little more clear in terms of the phrasing.

Good luck getting that one published!

[ChickMagic]

4. Good point!

Thanks for that. In all the letters I've sent, I've only had one rejected. The editorial staff has had a shakeup recently, so I don't know how this staff will react.

[LynzM]

11. no prob.

I used to copy edit :D

I'd be interested to hear if they have the guts to print it!

[ChickMagic]

12. I'll keep you guys informed

They did print a letter of mine some time ago where I was complaining about the Religion section of the paper getting larger while the Science section was getting smaller. In the letter I said something to the effect of "if they want to believe in talking donkeys and talking snakes that's fine with me (I gave the references)". They kind of like my in-your-face letters.

I'll be sure and let you guys know either way.

[NuckinFutz]

2. I say send it.

I the Dallas paper doesn't have the cajones to publish it, keep sending it out to every paper you can find.

[Goldmund]

3. I think that...

...saying the've "witnessed the world as it really is" is a huge overstatement. You know, if you're dying from thirst in a desert, horsepiss may seem like a super refreshing beverage. We're in an equivalent situation -- the media has _slightly_ awakened and we get some crumbs of real information, for a change. But there's still HUGE bias in the media; it's just that the tide has slowly started to turn against the * Administration, and that the stack of scandals is so high that they can no longer ingore them and maintain any credibility with even the most uninformed viewers/readers. But they still have a loooong way to go before they "witness the world as it really is".

[ChickMagic]

6. Good call

I changed that sentence to this:

Has the media shaken off its honeymoon cloak and tentatively begun to see the world as it really is?

[lutherj]

5. "Unwashed citizens"

Do you mean "unbrainwashed"? "Unwashed citizens" brings to mind a bunch of smelly hippies. I don't think that's the image you want to convey. Otherwise, it's good.

[ChickMagic]

7. That's true

But we are the great unwashed to this administration.

[lutherj]

8. The average reader won't catch that meaning. I think you're best

off sticking to your own perspective. The great unwashed are "We the People".

[Goldmund]

9. I disagree

"Unwashed masses" is a well-known cliche.

[ChickMagic]

10. How's this?

I changed it to this:

The only safeguard we unwashed citizens (otherwise known as “We the People”) have against tyranny is a free press. You are supposed to be watchdogs and you’ve been behaving like lapdogs. With scandals breaking nearly daily, we need information in order to be informed voters. The White House can blackball a single reporter, but they can’t blackball everyone. Get to work! All of you!

[lutherj]

13. I think that does it. Somehow I hadn't made the connection to the

phrase "unwashed masses". Adding the phrase in parentheses points up the administration's elitism and arrogance. Good Letter!

[ChickMagic]

14. Thanks!

I just faxed it over - we'll see if it gets printed.