Open the gates of Hell, boys, Saint Ronnie's comin' in!

[jmowreader]

It is with no small degree of utter glee that I celebrate the untimely death of Ronald Wilson Reagan, bad actor and worse president.

Untimely only in that if John Hinckley would have taken some shooting lessons before he tried to impress Jodie Foster, I wouldn't be writing this and you wouldn't be reading it.

If you go to Fox News, CNN, MSNBC or any of the other right-wing news sites you can read fantasy obituaries of this worthless piece of shit. This is a real one.

Ronald Reagan, who finally died Saturday after at least ten years in an Alzheimer's haze, was the man most responsible for the sordid state of affairs that exists in American politics today.

Ronnie began his career as an actor. Because he wasn't a very good actor, he tended to stick to films where his co-stars would outshine him. Reagan's most beloved movie is "Bedtime for Bonzo," in which he played next to a chimpanzee. Most viewers agree that the chimp was a better actor.

When the drums of war rolled, Ronnie was ready to don greasepaint and make propaganda films. He never left Hollywood. Later, during his misadministration, he saluted everything that moved. Truly the most salute-happy president in history.

After the war, Reagan served as the president of the Screen Actors Guild, the actors' union. He fed information on "un-American" performers to Senator McCarthy's Un-American Activities Committee, causing hundreds of actors to be blacklisted, never to find jobs in Hollywood again.

Ronnie then did his part to bankrupt the state of California as its governor. The only positive thing the man did as California governor was to popularize Jelly Bellies.

Reagan later became president. How he did it was by sending George the Elder, his running mate at the time, to Iran to broker a deal: the United States will provide clandestine assistance, including arms, if you will only hold our hostages until after the election. When he did this, President Carter's diplomatic team was on the verge of a brokered end to the Iran hostage crisis--one that fell through after Reagan's deal was struck.

During the Reagan presidency, a number of foreign policy gaffes were made. The United States decided to occupy Beirut. However, instead of quartering the troops on an aircraft carrier parked off the coast of Lebanon and flying people to work, we quartered the troops in a barracks at the Beirut airport. Which, as we all know, got blown to shit when the driver of a truck packed with high explosives sped past a checkpoint guarded by Marines with unloaded rifles and collided into the side of the barracks. Two hundred seventy-three unnecessary deaths were "avenged" by pulling out of Beirut and taking it out on the piss-ass island paradise of Grenada.

During the anti-communist Reagan's reign, most of the nations in South America installed communist governments.

Oh, and let's not forget the time in 1984 when he almost obliterated the United States! He was getting ready to do a radio speech, and while warming up Reagan uttered the immortal lines, "My fellow Americans, I am pleased to tell you I just signed legislation which outlaws Russia forever. The bombing begins in five minutes." Too bad his mike was hot and broadcasting! The Soviet Ministry of Defense went on the highest level of alert. The Soviet Air Force started the preparations to launch a retaliatory strike until they figured out that it was just senile old Ronnie attempting to be funny.

We can't forget the Iran-Contra scandal, when lieutenant colonels gained more power than four-star generals. When we sold weapons to our sworn enemy Iran, then gave the money to the Contra rebels in Nicaragua, and then lied about doing it. We can't forget that the United States sold a chemical and biological weapons program to Iraq when Iraq was actively gassing Kurds. And we must not forget that, because Ronnie hated Soviets worse than anything, we armed and trained a young Saudi man named Osama bin Laden.

Some say Reagan ended the Cold War by forcing the Soviets to spend themselves out of existence. Okay, let's look at that claim. The Soviet Union was a command-driven economy in which the government owns all the industries. If you want to make a tank, you have to mine iron ore, melt it down and make it into steel. You must then turn the steel into tank parts, and finally assemble those parts into a tank. But if you own the mine, the steel mill, the tank-part plant, and the final assembly plant, plus you employ all of the workers, a tank doesn't cost you anything. What really happened is that Reagan almost forced our government to spend itself out of existence. Also, some of Reagan's expenditures were dumb as hell. Let's talk the 600-ship Navy without enough sailors to take 600 ships to sea at the same time. Let's talk not buying enough transport aircraft to send the military where it needs to go.

Reagan spent money--your money--like a drunken sailor on shore leave. The worthless assface even managed to bankrupt the nation in 1987. They literally ran out of money in September 1987 before they ran out of fiscal year, so they had to push September's military payday back to October 1.

Let's soundbite the Reagan domestic record: Welfare Queen. Ketchup as vegetable. James Watt in a position of authority.

Reagan will shortly be buried behind the Reagan Presidential Library in Simi Valley, California. One of these days I'm going to visit Simi Valley. I'm going to pretend I'm Ozzy and Reagan's grave is the Alamo.

[salin]

1. While I don't disagree with yoru criticisms

I think the timing and tone is crass and counterproductive. We have plenty of time to critique... to tear at the media and the GOP as they try to opportunistically use this occaision to promote junior. But for a day or two... Just have too much humanity to jump up and down in celebratory glee at this moment in time.

[FarLeftRage]

2. A most execellent post!

:thumbsup: :thumbsup:

[mopaul]

3. ditto!................n/t

[lastknowngood]

4. Finally some compassion for the victims of this assholes

ruinous polices.

[searchingforlight]

5. A long time ago I worked for a man who was a real S.O.B.

He died of cancer while I was working for him and the store closed so that we could mourn his passing. I was one of the few who didn't go to the funeral but took the opportunity for a much deserved rest. When my friends asked me why I didn't go, I said that he was an S.O.B as long as I knew him and I refused to be a hypocrite and honor him with a visit to his life celebration.

It is the same with Ronald Reagan although I am grateful for two things: 1) that his timing was very good for if he had waited until August his passing and the smarmy, saccharine, B. S. that we will be exposed to over the next few weeks might have been enough to carry the election for GWB. 2) that his affliction kept him from the limelight for the last ten years and we were spared his being paraded in front of the gullible American public every time the neo-cons thought they needed a little apple polishing.

Yes, I can finally say thank you, Ronald Reagan.

My other reaction is - - - one down, so many to go.

[Moderator]

6. Locking.

This is absolutely tasteless.