http://www.republicanpress.com/auspice.htmby: I. Fester Auspice, Former Reagan White House Staffer, Poet Laureate
<snip>
While the two lawyers were arguing their positions over whether I should be taken off house arrest, I looked over at the court reporter. "Not, a bad looking lady," I said to myself as I admired her choice in attire. She had on a gray suit coat with a fluffy ruffled blouse of white. Her skirt was also gray and ran to the top of her knees. The skirt had a slit up the sides, to which revealed that she was wearing stockings and a garter. I watched as she crossed those stocking clad legs of hers. The Judge was talking, but I was watching the court reporter maneuver her stocking clad legs, which opened up the possibilities that face every man now and then. I saw, with my eyes wide open, all of the wonders of the court reporter and that she wore no panties!
The damn Clinton appointed liberal Judge brought forth the charges. I sat patiently in my chair admiring the lovely gray suited court reporter. The Judge went on and on about indecent and illicit activities. I began to wonder how in the world they could make me out to be such a pervert. I am a conservative republican. I served in the White House on President Ronald Wilson Reagan’s staff. How can I be anything but a man of morals, values, honesty, and integrity? At that moment, the court reporter uncrossed her legs and unknowingly, her muff winked at me. "Old I. Fester has made a new friend, " I thought to myself.
<snip (no pun intended)>