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Truth in satire time: http://www.theonion.com/news/index.php?issue=4022&n=1"John Kerry's only virtue is that he hasn't been in a position to make any major mistakes," Schalek said. "On the other hand, I hate Bush's views on abortion. My only consolation is that a vote against either candidate is a vote against Nader." ... Pressed to elaborate on his views, Hamm said, "To be honest, Kerry could be a guy with a paper bag over his head, for all I care. I'd vote for anybody as long as he wasn't Bush." ... "Kerry is a wishy-washy flip-flopper, changing his tune every time the wind blows," Barr said, repeating a phrase she'd heard on The Rush Limbaugh Show. "Can I trust a man who can't make up his mind about Communism? I don't think so."
Added Barr: "We have to remember how close the 2000 election was, when we voted against Gore. Actually, to be fair, when I voted against Gore, I was voting against Clinton."
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