Does Reagan rise from the dead on the 3rd or 4th day?

[BillZBubb]

Since he apparently walked on water, turned water into wine, and single-handedly saved the world, I was wondering when he rises from the dead to complete the wingnut fantasy?

[wndycty]

1. No he is on ice until the GOP convention

Then he will rise!

[goclark]

9. Is he really there?

My mom doesn't think that he is really in the casket! She thinks that he was probably cremated last week. I couldn't believe that she thought that way. When I questioned her more she said that she had never heard of dragging someone's body all over the country like that, first The Palisades, Simi Valley, Washington and back to California.

Mom said," even a corpse couldn't hold up under all that stress."

[LTR]

2. Don't forget

He could hack down redwood trees with his penis.

Oh. And he ended the Cold War (snicker).

[MoonRiver]

14. Bonzo looks terrified!

Guess he's not 'ready' for Ronny! :scared:

[4morewars]

3. He went straight to hell

do not pass go, do not collect $200

[XanaDUer]

4. Fourth Day...

then he ascends to the Right Hand of the Father.

[Rick Myers]

5. He'll rise on cue at the GOP Reagasm in NYC..........

Cross the stage and pry the gun from the 'cold, dead hands' of Chuck Heston. The camera will pull back to reveal Chuck in the fountain from the end of "The Omega Man!"

Ronnie will climb a mountain of dead Arabs, with several hundred Nicaraguan civilians inside for 'support'...

Ollie North and Dick Secord decend on Angelwings and ### CLASSIFIED TOP SECRET ### to the Ron Zombie...

The RON ZOMBIE begins to speak Aramaic, and suddenly the stage is filled with flames as Dick Nixon bursts forth from BELOW...

(To be continued...)

[linazelle]

6. Bwahahahaha. . . I'm anxiously awaiting Part II

Did you infiltrate the RNC committee or something? :silly:

[BillZBubb]

8. Heck, if that's gonna happen, I might even watch!

Otherwise, the DVD player gets a workout that week.

[Solly Mack]

7. Depends. How long does it take to "trickle down" from the cross?

It's a JOKE! Sheesh. :)

[crossroads]

10. Good one!

:dem:

[flewellyn]

11. Reagan did not die last week. (reprinted from my LJ)

Ronald Reagan did not die last week.

No, I don't believe he faked his death. Quite the opposite: he faked living, ever since 1981. When he was shot in 1981 by John Hinckley, he actually died in the hospital. He was then reanimated by a cabal of fundamentalist Christian necromancers. The dark arts they used to revive his still-cooling corpse involved, among other blasphemies, the blood of young welfare children, ominous astrological portents, invocations of the dark and terrible demons Gip-pher and Bon-zho, and worst of all, the complete works of Pat Boone on 8-track.

Once reanimated, the semi-sentient zombie Reagan continued as President in public, while in private his staff managed the day to day work of running the country into the ground. Reagan's schedule was, as reported by the media, managed by Nancy Reagan, who consulted with a prominent astrologer (as ordered by the necromancers) to determine the best times to have Ronald appear in public, so as to conceal his ever-slipping grasp on the living world.

Ronnie was said to be, at various times during his first term, incoherent, fuzzy-headed, dissociated, and in general "not all there". No one really noticed, since they'd come to expect this from him anyway.

Eventually, as the spirit of Reagan continually tried to flee the living world, and the magic began to wane, Reagan's handlers realized they would need an excuse. So, they made up the whole "Alzheimer's" thing.

Well, to make a long story short, the necromancers continued the rituals, year after year, required to keep the aging zombie ex-President "alive" and at least semi-functional. However, this year, the magic finally failed, due to it being 23 years after Ronald's real death. Why 23? Well, 23 is the number of death in Christian necromancy, since psalm 23 is the psalm said at funerals: "Yea, though I walk through the valleyof the shadow of death..."

So now, finally, Reagan is being laid to rest. I think his tormented spirit, driven insane by the long years caught between life and death, will seek revenge upon those who tormented him for so long, particularly the two evil masterminds who oversaw the process, who used this dark power to gain money, power, and fame, and who will eventually (if not stopped) use these dread magics to rule the world.

That's right: the Olsen Twins.

[flewellyn]

12. GAH, duplicate. Please delete this post.

[flewellyn]

13. Again, duplicate. Delete this post.

I think the site hiccupped.