What are the "qualifications" to be a "journalist" on cable television?

[kentuck]

Do you have to be a high school graduate? Do you have to know how to read a cue card? Judging from many, if not most, of the supposed reporters on cable television, journalistic skills are the last requirement for these folks. Should they be reporting on such important events without the knowledge or qualifications to report accurately and without bias?

[Rick Myers]

1. The ability to find the hairspray aisle in WalMart!

eom

[rfranklin]

4. Shopping in Walmart would disqualify you....

They don't rub elbows with those people!

[Vickers]

2. A pretty face and rudimentary reading skills.

I think that's about it.

[Joanne98]

3. Strong jaws.........

Able to suck real hard!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[kentuck]

6. Strong enough to suck the chrome off a 1956 Buick ?

:)

[Joanne98]

13. Stronger. Kryptonite strong.......

:)

[bemildred]

5. Helmet hair and the lack of an inquiring mind. nt

[baldguy]

7. Bleached blond hair.

No "troubling" opinions or critical thinking skills.

[alcuno]

8. They should be held to the same standard that they want teachers held to.

In my district, FAUX News would be considered "Not Meeting District Standards." When 50% of your audience believes that we've found WMD's in Iraq when no WMD's have been found, you're not doing your job.

They should be graded based upon the measurable knowledge of world events of their AUDIENCE, not their own knowledge.

[PfcHammer]

9. Hair and teeth. Period. Anything else is excess baggage. nt

[LTR]

10. Chapstick

And a flat head for resting a bottle of beer.

:evilgrin:

[punpirate]

11. Considering that MSNBC hired...

... the savage weiner to be a commentator, I would say that there are no standards... except, "if you can be nastier and more mean-spirited than anyone at Fox, we want you."

[Cleita]

12. Plenty of botox and lip gloss.

Remember Ted Baxter on the old Mary Tyler Moore show. He was dumb as a post, but with baritone voice delivery, bright shiny teeth and lots of silvery hair.

[VOX]

14. Straw hair. Capped teeth. Ability to speak marginally better than *

That's about it.

[nostamj]

15. uh, when has there ever been a 'journalist' on cable?

just wondering.... :shrug:

"insipid twits with perky tits and teeth,
on every dial.
they'll turn you on and terrify you
with the same smile"

(to the tune of "Put On A Happy Face)

a little snip of THE QUESTION W REVUE....

[arwalden]

16. Big Tits, Fat Lips, Greasy Lip Gloss, Blue Eye Shadow...

... or maybe it would just be quicker if I said "she needs to look like an 1895 New Orleans whore."

-- Allen

[Lefty48197]

17. Women with nice legs do well on FAUX TV

as "journalists".

[grasswire]

18. I have noticed...

...that there is a certain kind of nose that seems to be standard on women pundits. I'm not sure how to describe it. If you look at Judy Woodruff, Leslie Stahl perhaps you'll see it. For a while the networks favored women with oddly shaped jaws.

I believe the electorate would be better served if grizzled old cynical reporters covered the WH rather than pretty boys and girls.

[loftycity]

19. As John Stewart said Qualifications are Prom Queen or King

[TruthIsAll]

20. Blonde, full lips, long legs, sexy voice, empty head. Virgin.Not.

TIA