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Edited on Sat Jun-12-04 08:23 AM by mopaul
Greetings from a large jar in an undisclosed location my fellow Americans,
This is President Ronald Reagan, from inside a tank filled with saline solution and wired up to a computer and camera. I've had this all arranged in advance so that i can continue the reagan revolution even after my own demise.
I will be posting periodic updates about plans i have to conquer the globe and set off armageddon. I'll be darned if i'm going to miss it, after going to all the trouble to make it. So rest assured my fellow americans, the rapture will be right on schedule.
My sincerest thanks to all who participated in my funeral, all went off without a hitch.
And finally, don't tell nancy about any of this. she suffered enough after starring in that awful sci-fi movie, 'Donovan's Brain'. she and everyone else thought i was in the box, but, i'm in a tank. I feel great, and my policies will continue being carried out by my employees, and my tank buddy, walt disney.
the torture scandal will get worse, just a warning. and this will be a raucous election year, but feel good about yourselves, it's morning in america again, the war will go on and on and on, thousands more will have to die, the air will turn to thick sludge, the coastlines will go up a mile or so, just pass the jellybeans and be of good cheer. i'm still very much in charge and you will hear from me often.
Until next time my fellow americans, this is president ronald reagan's brain, from the shining jar on the hill, in an undisclosed location, behind the shell station on 23rd and Main.
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