Republican Convention Schedule

[Badger1]

REPUBLICAN CONVENTION SCHEDULE

6:00 PM Opening Prayer led by the Reverend Jerry
Falwell

6:30 PM Pledge of Allegiance

6:35 PM Burning of Bill of Rights (excluding 2nd
amendment)

6:45 PM Salute to the Coalition of the Willing

6:46 PM Seminar #1: Iraq Strategies "Voodoo/DooDoo &WMD"

7:30 PM First Presidential Beer Bong

7:35 PM Serve Freedom Fries

7:40 PM EPA Address #1: Mercury: It's what's for
dinner!

8:00 PM Vote on which country to invade next

8:10 PM Call EMTs to revive Rush Limbaugh

8:15 PM John Ashcroft Lecture: The Homos are after your
Children!!

8:30 PM Round table discussion on reproductive rights
(MEN only)

8:50 PM Seminar #2 Corporations: The Government of the
Future

9:00 PM Condi Rice sings "Can't Help Lovin' Dat Man"

9:05 PM Second Presidential Beer Bong

9:10 PM EPA Address #2 Trees: The Real Cause of Forest
Fires

9:30 PM Break for secret meetings

10:00 PM Second prayer led by Cal Thomas

10:15 PM Lecture by Carl Rove: Doublespeak made easy

10:30 PM Rumsfeld demonstration of how to squint and
talk macho

10:35 PM Bush demonstration of trademark "deer in
headlights" stare

10:40 PM John Ashcroft demonstrates new mandatory
Kevlar chastity belt

10:45 PM Clarence Thomas reads list of black
republicans

10:46 PM Third Presidential Beer Bong

10:50 PM Seminar #3 Education: A Drain on our Nation's
Economy

11:10 PM Hilary Clinton Pinata

11:20 PM Second Lecture by John Ashcroft:
Evolutionists: The Dangerous New Cult

11:30 PM Call EMTs to revive Rush Limbaugh again.

11:35 PM Blame Clinton

11:40 PM Laura serves milk and cookies

11:50 PM Closing Prayer led by Jesus Himself

12:00 PM Nomination of George W. Bush as Holy Supreme
Planetary Overlord

[meegbear]

1. Boy I NEVER get tired of this being posted.

[GreenPartyVoter]

2. *lol* Thanks for sharing that.